An older woman wearing a mask came up to me at work today and pointed at my face/chin, then she pulled her mask down to show me she had chin/facial hair and said that she liked that I had it too. We talked for a little bit about it and I told her I don't like shaving it, because it's mine and it's part of me and who I am, and she got SO excited and said she felt very much the same way. I told her I even darken mine with makeup sometimes and she went "really!?" And when our conversation ended I watched her go up excitedly to the person she had come in with, I assume to talk about our conversation.
I love being trans and gender non-conforming because I love making people and especially non-trans people who don't fit the rigid binary feel better about the way their bodies are naturally. I doubt she clocked that I was a trans man, but honestly, I don't care what someone else reads me as if the way I present myself makes them feel more confident in themselves.
When we talk about breaking down gender roles this is what we mean. It's not just for queer or trans people, it's for everyone. It's so everyone can feel comfortable with the way their body naturally is, or with the way they personally present themselves. We go back and forth with who has it worse when we should be focused on setting a whole different standard completely; one where these rigid gender expression boxes are gone completely.
This woman made my day, and I hope I made hers too. If you're ever worried for a second about how you present yourself, or features you're self conscious about, think about what it would mean to see someone confidently showing off that same feature, and how everyone can better themselves when we stop being so focused on what's correct and more focused on just being comfortable with our own bodies. Learn to love yourself, love every part of yourself, and others will see that and do the same.