If you can’t reblog this, unfollow me now.

it’s fucking disgusting that i just lost 6 followers

For everyone panicking, it has NOT become a law. It has passed its first round and has been put into a markup stage

For more information on who to contact and what exactly the process is for something to pass into law, go HERE^

OH OH I have a bit more info for this! I got this from a discord that I'm in, to give resources and to help folks with phone anxieties there's a full resource sheet with numbers to call and scripts to follow. These bills have been stopped before and its SO SO important to keep the phones off the damn hooks

I can't do all that much from Canada but I thought the wider audience of yall could use this resource, so spread if you can!!!

As long as we associate masculinity and discussions about masculinity and/or manhood with patriarchal, right-wing ideals or figureheads, we will never have a healthy outlook on masculinity and manhood.

This is precisely why I talk so much about trans manhood and masculinity. We need to move away from hegemonic, right-wing ideas of manhood and masculinity. To other trans people, trans men, transmasculine folk, whomever wishes to contribute to conversations about this, I think your voice matters. This, of course, applies not just to transness but also to race, sexuality, expression, and broader cultural understandings of manhood and masculinity. We need as many different voices speaking up about manhood and masculinity lest we go right back to the same patriarchal ideals that we are (trying to, at least) moving away from.

The greatest threat to the US, lives within its boarders.

If I see one more post that treats aromanticism like it only goes with asexuality I’m going to scream. They are separate from each other even though many people are on both spectrums. Don’t you dare erase aromantic allosexuals from our own fucking label.

Reblogging again because I got an anon last week whining cause they did this to one of my unfinished series and the bot killed Y/N so now they want ME to give them a happy ending. Like. No. Suffer, bitch.

Bar that, hey everyone we have the opportunity to do something absolutely hysterical

David Slack warning against AMPTP trying to turn the unions against each other, and stating the facts.

THIS RIGHT HERE

The hate comes from the shame. Conservatives have so much shame for their lives, their choices, their absence of love, that rather than keeping tabs on their own lives and processing the shame, they all jump to denial and switch the shame to hate.

The hate keeps them from atoning, maturing, asking for forgiveness, and taking responsibility.

anyway DDOS ransom attacks suck but since people decided to uncritically spread racist and Islamophobic propaganda in the wake of a common internet attack, instead of donating more money to AO3 (which always gets all the money asked for and more) please consider donating to these organizations

The Rainbow Railroad helps LGBTQ+ people around the globe who face immediate physical danger due to the laws or policies of the countries they live in, up to and including helping people emigrate for safety. They also help with on-the-ground programs for people who they cannot help emigrate. I personally know and love someone who was helped by this organization. You can read their history here.

EATHAN is the East African Trans and Health Advocacy Network who are doing critical, on the ground work to aid, protect, and legislate for LGBTQ+ East Africans. They are active in Burundi, Kenya, Rwanda, Tanzania and Uganda. You can donate and read about what they're up against here.

and remember, please to always think critically and kindly; it is very distressing to me how many people immediately bought into infowars level conspiracy just because a fanfiction website went down for a bit.

So we're just committing straight up war crimes on the border now, huh?

I hope Abbott and all the Texas officials who okay'd fucking rot in a prison for this.

im having a moment

im turning rbs off of this in 24hrs you have my express permission to repost this image as much as you desire idc.

Attention fandom: don't jump to conclusions about fans who might be scabbing. SAG-AFTRA guidelines aren't as clear as we might like yet.

By now you might have seen these emails going around (tl;dr: a cosplayer emailed SAG-AFTRA for clarification about what fans can and can't do, which has mostly led to more confusion about if cosplaying/fanart/fanfic is scabbing or not.)

There's mixed messaging from the union right now, mostly surrounding what constitutes as an "influencer" or not, possibly because SAG-AFTRA just isn't familiar with fan spaces. (Is a cosplayer not making any money or ever partnering with studios an influencer? Is a Tumblr account with 1000 followers an influencer? It's not totally clear how they're defining promotion either.)

Yes, influencers should NOT promote struck work or work for studios right now, and we as fans should be careful about how we are interacting with publicity/marketing arms of the studios right now, because we want to fully support SAG-AFTRA and the WGA.

In the meantime, here are some general guidelines:

I slept in and just woke up, so here's what I've been able to figure out while sipping coffee:

This man wants you to give him control over all of your financial information.

Edit to add further developments:

Attn: MAGA, FOX, Moms For Liberty.

Hey yeah in the midst of all the hype and the strikes, can we PLEASE fucking talk about this

Btw I was talking to Kiddo about social rules because we're both autistic and it doesn't come naturally to either of us but I have 25 years experience on them so I have some useful tips

And as proof of that: in that conversation I realised what neurotypicals mean when they say we "make everything about us"

When they're talking and we interject "fun facts" or start talking about something related to what they're saying we mean:

"I am showing interest in you and your interests by engaging with them and showing I'm listening by adding information"

From their perspective we are stomping over their turn to talk and making it our turn and therefore making it about us

Conversation example:

NT: my favourite animal is sharks

Autistic person: with some sharks species the shark pup that hatches first hunts the others and eats them while being incubated inside the mother

Autistic person perspective: I have shown interest in you by giving you information about a topic you have shown interest in

NT person's perspective: wow they made my favourite animal a time for them to show off instead of letting me talk when it was my turn

It's doesn't matter if it's "on topic" or "relevant to the person" if it's when it's their turn to be the focus of the conversation

Like I know there is a bit more to it but this is the first time in 39 years I have understood the accusation "you're making this all about yourself"

OHHH. Ok? I think I get it?

NT important variables: When (whose turn is it), and How (intonation, etc) - Conversational metadata.

ND important variables: What (the literal text/information exchange), and Why (the purpose fulfilled) - The base conversation.

From one autistic to another: you can master this exchange with one easy tool.

Ask a follow-up question.

As stated, allistic conversations do put a lot of weight into whose turn it is to speak. So in the above example,

Person: my favorite animal is sharks

The best follow-up response is "what do you like about sharks?"

Your conversation partner will answer, and if they're not a dickbag, then they will turn the conversation back to you, likely with a relevant question - "what's your favorite animal?" At which point you are free to infodump just a little. Keep it within one or two sentences - unless of course the person finds the info interesting.

But then keep asking follow-up questions, or at least give your conversation partner a chance to follow-up on their statements. Don't worry too much about the timing of questions, and if you're even slightly anxious that you're asking something too personal/rude, then tack on a "sorry, you don't have to answer." Allistic people just like to know that you're listening to what they have to say about the topic.

This is good advice and largely what I told my kid to do

I'm still thrown though that even though I had picked up on the "you need to ask questions and limit your sharing" (even though I'm not great at it) but I was 39 before I realised why allistics went about things the way they did

i know this one, its not about the "turns"! Like this is a bit more of a "you used the wrong formula but got the correct answer situation" - the reason the NT in the original sharks example would assume the autistic person was showing off or making it abt themselves isnt because its not their turn to speak.

Its because the autistic person stating the information as a response directly after someone expresses a feeling like "i like sharks" reads to an allistic person like the autistic person assumed they dont know as much about sharks as them and is condescending to them. So it's more:

Autistic perspective: "I like sharks!" -> "Wow! That's so cool! In order to include your interest in this conversation, I will include fun facts related to your interests!"

Allistic perspective: "I like sharks!" -> "I am stating information about sharks without giving you an opportunity to say anything about your knowledge level or give your own shark fact(s) first, giving off the impression that I think I know more than you and am condescending to you by trying to educate you on a topic you enjoy."

The thing is, asking a follow-up question like "what's your favourite thing about sharks" DOES work in conversation, not because allistics run on dnd combat rules in conversation (they also ramble, and cut people off knowingly) but because it gives the allistic person a chance to demonstrate their familiarity w the subject first.

That way, they have an opportunity to show that they are also knowledgeable about the topic (sharks) and then the shark facts will be seen as an information exchange rather than condescension because both parties will be aware that the topic is "exchanging shark facts".

(If the allistic doesn't really know much about the topic, or says they only like sharks because they look cute etc. then it is ideal to say something like "thats cool! I did a bit of research into sharks a while back, do you want to hear some shark facts?" which serves the same kind of purpose in clarifying that u want to give shark facts for fun and not because you think they need to be educated.)

The question also gives the allistic the opportunity to say that they'd rather not discuss shark facts and instead move on to a different topic, which lets them feel like they have also retained a degree of control over the conversation rather than feeling like the autistic person is domineering or monologuing (it is a common misinterpretation of infodumping unfortunately).

Just generally its more about letting the allistic demonstrate both that they also want to hear facts and that they are also knowledgeable on a topic before infodumping so that they can understand that you view them as an equal and not an inferior on the topic, and so they will have a much harder time feeling slighted in response to an autistic person's infodump.

TLDR: it's not about conversation turns, it's about the fact that allistics often misinterpret the reason for infodumping being "this person thinks im stupid and need educating" rather than a desire to connect over information, but establishing a mutual knowledge base & asking if they want to hear facts mitigates this as it clarifies to an allistic that you're sharing information for fun rather than trying to educate them.

#it's both - via @lazy-duck

Agreed.

Basically, give the other person a prompt to see if THEY want to infodump before you infodump about their topic. They had a reason to bring it in. I've brought in topics before, had the other person respond by saying the thing I wanted to share, and felt crushed. The information was known by both parties, but my excitement had no way to be shared!

yeah and in addition: the 'turns' thing and the 'signalling you are not trying to assert yourself over them as an expert in Their topic' thing are both tied to social dominance subtext.

horribly, the ways you should and should not perform social dominance behaviors are in fact tied to your perceived social status in context, as well as to the specific manners of the culture group you're in at the moment. all the context. usually tracked subconsciously, with mental skillsets and mechanisms that are typically underdeveloped in autistic brains.

so not only does a 'normal' amount of dominance-assuming behavior not exist, despite claims to the contrary, people who think they're above you will do things like this to you and that they'll be offended by having you mirror, and then be even more offended by the idea that they aren't treating you like an equal.

which is why Pretty Autistic Dude with high verbal processing who has lucked into a high status role can go steamrolling over everybody and gain advantage from it, even if most people don't like him for it. but basically everyone else who behaves the same way is fucked.

yes and: the social dominance subtext thing is something that we, coming out of a culture that likes to think it is egalitarian, tend to try to shove out of conscious awareness. that's why people will sometimes be offended at the idea they're not treating you like an equal, particularly if you're interacting because you're in an organization where at least in theory you have the same "rank": they shouldn't be treating you like an inferior [in theory] and probably don't consciously realize that they're doing so, especially if they have internally labeled you with an inferior social role based on anything related to a marginalizing status (including: gender, age, race, ethnicity, orientation, etc). Consciously drawing attention to behaviors that indicate that they are treating you like a lower-ranked person, again especially if any marginalizing factor is involved, is likely to trigger a state called "moral dissonance" where you're effectively forcing them to notice that their actions are not in line with their consciously held values.

this is a thing that sucks hard ass to experience, and most people really hate it and will immediately cast around to find a reason that no actually they're not doing that thing at ALL. This is where the defensive offended behavior comes from: it's an activated attempt to justify to both you and, importantly, themself that they definitely haven't been acting outside their conscious moral values. Because most people's internal assessment of social hierarchies is internal and implicit, they might or might not be aware of how they're thinking about you, and they might exclaim in frustration that they're not treating you like an inferior at all.

and: here's the kicker--they might be right. Social hierarchical posturing in humans is extremely contextual and usually cloaked in enough plausible deniability to not read as a direct insult, especially in a social context that values egalitarianism. It is also pretty much always present, whether or not the people in the group want it to be. There is no such thing as a human culture devoid of social hierarchical maneuvering. Nor is there any such thing as a human person who does not sometimes participate in this kind of interaction. It's not always antagonistic or bad, either: sometimes people will do things like posture in order to be reassured that they are still valued and respected by the group, and it is very possible and common for humans to make ploys for high status using affiliative tactics like: complimenting others, facilitating connections between other people, offering to teach other people, doing favors, etc. Most of our language for talking about this stuff is couched in a really antagonistic context, where interactions and hierarchies are framed as zero-sum conflicts, but that's not necessarily true.

Basically, human social maneuvering is often unconscious and usually hidden, especially in groups that value egalitarian interactions. Because it's all stuff that is happening under the surface, and because people are also often distracted and not paying attention, it's also totally possible for people to perceive shit as social posturing that isn't intended that way at all. Happens all the time. Humans are messy! Perception is messy! People aren't straightforward to interpret and sometimes there are a lot of mistakes!

but this is why "mansplaining" is a thing: men are much more likely to internally assume that they are higher on a social hierarchy than women, which means that they get more talking time. Sometimes an excited autistic infodumping reads to other people as fitting this pattern, even if the behavior has a different root cause. Figuring out how to navigate this as a human being is always going to be hard, and you're never going to pull it off with success 100% of the time because, well, no one does that either.

letting the other person have a chance to infodump first is good manners with other autistics too, this is not a neurotype thing

So first of all on the questions thing: if you ask people lots of questions about the things they’re talking about, they are more likely to feel positively about you, NT or ND

1) it shows you’re paying attention and are interested in them. People like feeling valued and interesting

2) being taken seriously is something we don’t all get to experience a lot, and everyone likes that

And 3) it gives them a lil subconscious bump to be “ah they trust my knowledge on this subject, I am an authority ☺️”

It’s also an extremely good way to get a rep as a great conversationalist and trusted friend… while doing very little conversational work

If you’re not in the mood to talk for literally any reason, just a lil prodding question now and then and most people will not even notice you’re not talking (this is not always a good thing)

I apply this to literally everyone I have ever met and have never been caught by anyone, neurotypical or not. Very good for low energy days when I am still required to socialise for some ungodly reason

(Check on your friends who ask a lot of questions but don’t talk about themselves)

For taking turns… yeah, you need to try and keep track of this yourself, because most people don’t and it is easy for quieter folks to get talked over which is bad for anyone, neurodiverse or not

If you’ve been talking for a while, take a turn to ask a question

You get free social points and it shows respect

Wow so just to make this about me 😅 (need to think through what resonated for me, please feel free to ignore)

I 100% do the "just ask questions on a bad day" thing. Sometimes it makes me happy, and I almost always actually care about what I'm asking about, but when that's my entire contribution to the conversation? Defence mechanism. "Most people won't even notice": yeah. Too true to look at too closely.

Fact 1: I've had a lot of bad days over the past few years. I've asked a lot of questions.

Fact 2: Over the past couple of weeks, I've felt like I've been blurting things out, introducing my opinion or my perspective in a way that's out of place, jarring, selfish.

I think... I hope, this might mean that actually I'm just... Contributing. And maybe I feel weird about it because I've not been contributing. And that's also weird.

So fact 2 here is either a real good thing or a real bad thing 👀

Being able to introduce your opinions and perspectives is super good, especially if you haven’t done it before or had trouble with it, and the more you do it the easier it’ll get!

Just… check in with yourself a lil bit and make sure it isn’t because you’ve hit critical mass and are exploding at the corners because it’s that or scream

It’s a really good habit to get into to assert yourself, especially if other people aren’t in the habit of balancing conversations and might not wait to ask for your thoughts

(This can be both an ND thing and a regional thing apparently, since Newfies and Mancunians both have conversation habits that make Ontarians wary!

We talk loud, interrupt often, and talk over each other as a cultural thing and for some reason people here think we are fighting regardless of what we’re actually saying)

You gotta get in there and contribute and you’re right that it’s probably disuse making it feel worse, you will feel more comfortable and get better with practice!