invite doom in, hang its coat

@echo-2-1 / echo-2-1.tumblr.com

trauma blog
useless words and tired ranting
do not follow if you have not experienced a trauma
warning: i'm shit at tagging

My contamination anxiety has been so so bad lately and I can tell it’s starting to frustrate my partner. I bought a steam cleaner recently and I almost passed out because I spent over four hours deep cleaning the bathroom in a homemade sauna and then he peed standing up and I couldn’t tell if the droplets under the toilet were water or pee so I just cried and eventually cleaned it up.

We have two bathrooms so he said we can start having our own separate ones and I’m gonna buy a black light so I know forsure if there’s pee anywhere and won’t be paranoid about it so like we’re finding solutions but it’s getting to be a lot even for me.

when the prey animal coded character kills the predator animal coded character.... oughhhhrghrhhrghagh

when the wolf has fangs but the sheep and deer have horns just as sharp. when the scorpion has its sting but the frog can swim while it drowns. when the fly tangles the spider in its own web. when fear and anger and desperation to survive are just as deadly as hunger.

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i am holding my loneliness and she is a teenage girl with puffy eyes, and i love her more than i have ever loved anyone

well I finally owned up to all the lies I’ve told to my partner during the 2+ yrs we’ve been together, some understandable, some inexcusable.

I don’t know where we go from here, if he’ll ever forgive me, if I’ll have a home tomorrow, but at least I told the entire truth for once in my fucking life, at least I gave him that.

I hope I get to hug him one more time