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A Never-Ending Tea Party

@earlgraytay / earlgraytay.tumblr.com

Author, autist, apostate. Trans man, queer, and proud. Thrives in an environment of G-rated villainy. // An elegant, but slightly disgruntled, person drinking tea. // Internet oddity + friendly neighbourhood vampire. // Professional of pain.

about the earl:

Hi! I’m earlgraytay. You can call me Malcolm, Mal, Earl, Gray-- whatever. I’m a writer, a Twitch streamer, and a proud queer. He/him pronouns, please.

You can buy my queer fic on Amazon and Smashwords-- want a hopeful queer retelling of Kafka’s Metamorphosis? How about a trans lady airship captain who hunts angels and fights restrictive Victorian gender roles, or a grumpy enby veterinarian who has to heal @historieofbeafts-style goat-unicorns? 

You can follow my Twitch streams on twitch.tv/earlgraytay. This post will be updated as I figure out a good stream schedule, but RN I stream on Mondays and Fridays (though I’m not very consistent). 

I write fanfic sometimes - I’m on AO3 as scribblingTiresias- but it’s mostly one-shots, with a few ambitious weird longfics that are never updated.

Thanks for reading! Hope to have more here soon.

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i wanna do a thing where i lay out studies that show things in different primates that show us parts of ourselves as humans. Call it Primates: Through the Looking Glass or The Monkey in the Mirror or something

There are studies and documentaries that show things about Gorillas, Chimpanzees, Bonobos, Baboons, Macaques… that just make sense to me. That if shown right would make sense to a lot of people, i think.

like… they were studying this one group of gorillas –

okay wait. First of all, you know a silverback (the Big Male) of the group is not the leader or in charge or anything, right? He has a role, and it includes a certain amount of control, which i’ll explain briefly, but he’s not, like, in charge.

wait, you know all that Dominance/Alpha theory about wolves is all wrong, right?

wait wait wait, and also that like, the bull or the stag or whatever in a herd is not in charge of anything, right? right?

hold on. the wolves is it’s own post, the herd thing i might get back to, we’re on gorillas, okay. Silverback is basically just the male head of an extended family in which plenty of the leadership is handled by the women of the family.

There are often 2-4 silverbacks, but one, usually the largest, will clearly be senior to the others who are often his sons or brothers. Silverbacks have three main roles

1: defend the group from all physical threats aside from people, these threats are mostly random male gorillas, chimpanzee baby-snatching gangs, and the occasional leopard. Just his alert presence handles most scenarios, and then maybe a few times a year he has to risk his life fulfilling this responsibility. It is this role that provides most of whatever actual power he has over the group, namely this: while he isn’t necessarily the one deciding when and where the group goes on a daily basis, if the most powerful/capable silverback does decide to travel a direction, they pretty much have to go with him, the family isn’t safe without him.

2: make babies. And this is one area where the ladies of the group will sometimes sort of vote with their ovaries, and favor a silverback that isn’t the main one, like “yeah, Frank, you are the biggest, but honestly you’re a dick and we’re going to make sure the next generation of silverbacks isn’t another one of you.” When you see a main large silverback in a group of gorillas, it isn’t, like, his blindly loyal harem, they have to approve of him. Also gorilla females move between groups, and sometimes they take members with them or start new groups and stuff. Anyway i’m getting off track, one of the silverbacks jobs is making babies

3. keep the peace This functions a lot like being in the back seat with your siblings with your parents up front. Basically any disputes within the group have to be handled within a certain parameter of decorum, because if it gets too out of hand HE’s going to come over, and He’ll be upset, which is low-key terrifying because He’s huge, and there’s no telling who He’ll decide is at fault or what he’ll do about it, so letting a situation get out of hand is a losing scenario for everyone involved really. Tho typically he will favor senior females in disputes, in a “don’t you talk that way to your mom” kind of way.

one last thing, silverbacks don’t actually transfer power between silverbacks via battle every time.

Like i was just reading accounts from a multi-generational observational study of some wild gorillas that featured one big silverback just straight up taking over by performing the silverback duties better and becoming preferred by everyone else in the group. There was no fight, it just became, i do the job better, everyone likes me better, kicking my ass can’t change that, and boom, he was the primary silverback. And the other silverback might have been a bit dull, or a bit of a bully, but like us their species’ success is largely dependent on social intelligence; once he saw the writing on the wall, that other, slightly larger sivlerback didn’t even bother trying to change the situation with a physical fight, he understood what had happened.

okay so all that was just to tell you all this story. lol. Here’s what i saw in one documentary:

This very big, getting old silverback, who was hugely popular and successful, with a very large and tightly bonded family group, and a couple of his hulking adult sons backing him up. Everybody in his group seemed to love him a lot, he was particularly calm in that gentle giant sort of way, a safe, emotionally steady presence, happy to help raise his sons and daughters with kindness, and who could become a raging nightmare if pressed by a leopard … exactly what a band of gorillas wants in a silverback.

But one of his adult sons had plenty of silver on his own back, and was getting itchier and itchier to be main man of the group, and this is where we start our little drama

It seems to be coming to a head, and the observers are nervous about a fight for the position. The silverback and his son are both are huge, probably approaching 400lbs, mostly muscle, with long thick fangs and skulls topped with jaw muscles as big as human biceps to wield those teeth, which nature has given them primarily to fight other gorillas with. 

But then the next day, the old man leads the fam up the mountain.

it’s winter, which is why they have come down the mountain in the first place. But as we discussed, if he goes somewhere, they have to go, so they all follow behind.

up he goes, and then he sits. And waits. It’s cold and there is much less food up here at this time of year. There’s nothing to do but sit hungry in the cold. His size and metabolism makes him the most able to withstand the cold, but even he is pretty uncomfortable. 

And so he sits. And his family, perhaps confused, but loyal, sits around him.

But his son, the other huge silverback, with years of training even as an adult under his wise father, is ready and able to go off on his own. Finally, he stands up, makes clear his intentions to leave this uncomfortable place. A small handful of the other gorillas stand with him – if he goes down the mountain, then they can safely leave as well. He turns and heads down the mountain. After a moment, a few more gorillas leave the main group to follow. All in all it winds up being nearly half.

The wise older silverback thoughtfully watches his son leave with about half the group. He sits a while longer in the cold, in the company of those most loyal to him, and then takes them along a different path down the mountain

And those two groups still ran into each other sometimes, and were friendly. And sometimes a couple gorillas would change between the two groups. They were still close.

But i just thought that was such an elegant, meaningful way for that gorilla to handle that whole situation. And it makes a completely human sort of sense to me. 

“Wait, there are people blaming the writers?”

Are you surprised? Fandoms have become notorious anti-writer spaces. Studios love you guys. They can cut the budgets, cut the number of writers, cut the wages of the writers, and you guys always blame the writers. “The writers ruined the show!” It’s never “the studios ruined the show.”

I hate to break it to you: more than half the shows you complain were “ruined by the writers”, were ruined by the studios. Studios cut the scenes and arcs you were excited for. Studios cut the budget of the show, or even raise the budget of the show and force a “bigger, louder, bolder” tone on shows that were unexpected hits (this is where we get “the Netflix look” on every show post-Stranger Things and Queen’s Gambit).

You guys do not do your research. Half your fanfics are tagged with bad faith digs at the writers, when a few searches would reveal how strapped that show was and how poorly the writers were treated. Writers are being given a single week to write each episode—I’m not kidding, one-week-per-episode is one of the reasons for the strike. How are good arcs and scenes supposed to happen under that time limit, with a max of only four writers?

Tumblr, the self-proclaimed “pro-union, pro-worker, pro-artist” site is also a major fandom site. You guys rarely practice good faith consumer etiquette for television and film writers, because your fandom salt always turns you against writers. And studios love you for it.

Yeah, individual writers do create bad writing from time to time. But so do painters, chefs, and musicians. Directors and actors sometimes refuse to film certain scenes or follow a show’s projected style and arc, and the writers always get the crap for a bad performance or a poorly directed episode. This isn’t to blame actors or directors; it’s to point out that you guys have one villain, and it’s always the writers. You guys never give writers the same grace you give animators, designers, directors, actors, composers, and editors.

Studios love you every time you say “the writers ruined the show.” Every single popular fandom is guilty of this. View any of the “why did the writers cut this scene, they hate my characters” talk when leaked scenes hit the internet. Writers barely get paid for what they do write. You think they’re writing scenes and then happily throwing them in the shredder? You guys just eat the talk that studios put out. Always have.

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the number of people reblogging this with "except for [x]" is appalling.

i have spent a long time digging into bad tv and bad movies. it's always the producer's and exec's fault. there are no exceptions to this.

The Kiss, Kelly Mark, 2007

There’s something very yuri about this.

This piece certainly has a human feel to it. Though televisions are cold, unfeeling pieces of technology, their warm glow and the soft roundness of their screens engages the viewer in a sense of intimacy. This sight may make the touch starved uncomfortable and lonely.

The title is a direct reference to the sense of intimacy intended by the artist. ‘These televisions are kissing,’ she says. ‘This is a human action.’ We are meant to see ourselves here.

The televisions are also the same type and display the same color. The peachy pink could easily be interpreted as a feminine color, if we are to entertain gender norms for the sake of interpretation. These televisions are both girls.

Conclusion: This is yuri.

I repainted my fan-art Ken Kaneki (MYou Bettina male) for the second time. I had enhanced the 1st face up I gave him previously. However, I decided to attempt painting him the way I learned to do 1:6 sculpts, form that one (15 episodes) tutorial I watched. I was impatient however, which I regret to no tomorrow. So, I was able to get most of the pigmented skin texture on there with mostly acrylics. Then I grew impatient, because I was taking too long (it was dumb of me, terribly so!). 

I am still super happy with how he looks despite using pastels and ruining the beautiful subtleness I had going on. I did take progress photos, but they ar more awful than these. I am of course heavily disappointed in my hair strokes – my eyebrows and eyelashes are horrid. However, I am happy with how much more mature he appears, due to the heavy dark brows, so I’ll probably be keeping them for a while (before I start obsessing and repaint him again!). 

I need to get a new pointy brush, because I managed to already ruin the one I was using to paint my Sephiroth and Leon 1:6 head sculpts. Bettina has much, much larger eyes, and I was still not able to get not-so-clean, but kind of sharp lines like on Sephy. I wasn’t able to do a better job on Leon either, but he has tinier eyes and they were sculpted way off, so I kind of have to cheat with the way I shade his lower eyelid to make it look like they are a more accurate shape. Leaving me to having to pain the lashes on an area that is hard to do so (and yes, I also suck, so there’s that too!). 

Still, I am super happy with my Kaneki fan-art doll so far. I wish he had broader shoulders, and overall, more lean-young-male body proportions, like Kaneki has in the anime. Instead of noodle arms and child-bearing-hips. Besides the proportions, I am in-love with this tiny face! He’s so pretty and has great lips, as he as intended to be female, but can be a very versatile sculpt! (: Now I just need to start making some actual Kaneki inspired clothes and maybe a more accurate wig, as painful as that will be. I was thinking of this wig as his default one, but it makes him look cone-headed. Lol! DX

we all must get weirder and more queer. i am completely serious and genuine and this is urgent. please get weirder and gayer now. if you see me acting weird and gay mind your business a little bit.

Hello, tumblr!

My name is Ariadna and I am a dark fantasy illustrator from Ukraine. This is my second try to create something on tumblr and I will be really glad if you could share with me some secrets or advices how to use this platform ^-^`

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Okay so.

I saw the Ukranian mermaid when @gwydionmisha reblogged it last night, and I just spent the last hour scrolling through this person's work, and I am fully obsessed. Ariadna's style feels like reading a vintage kazka/fairy tale book, full of wonderful illustrations of Fox and Cat and Ivan the Fool crammed in page after page like animals stuffed into a mitten, but somehow also very fresh and modern, and I'm in love with it. I bought a print of the Ukranian mermaid, and it's going to go with the rest of my mermaids in the dining room.

Let's see if we can't double whatever Ariadna's follower count is, yeah? It's truly deserved. I'm so obsessed with this style.

My friend said this but this is a very important point that yall need to understand.

Shel Silverstein wrote and illustrated poetry for children,

drew cartoons for Playboy,

and made the most terrifying album cover of all time.

Don't put artists in a box.

I’m not sure you could make a box that could contain Shel Silverstein.

All five of these were made by Dr. Seuss:

"I CALL THEM THING ONE AND THING TWO"

"THE RATHER ODD MYOPIC WOMAN"

"EVERY GIRL SHOULD HAVE A UNICORN"

"OH, I'D LOVE TO GO TO THE PARTY BUT I'M ABSOLUTELY DEAD"

"CAT DETECTIVE IN THE WRONG PART OF TOWN"

[hoarsely] is everyone ok

*covered in blood and debris* [shakily] yeah

[unseen, muffled] doing awesome

*shining a flashlight down at all of you* Hey, that almost went exactly to plan! 

This is not the only branch of this posts which gets notes but it does get a fair few even now, and I'm endlessly delighted by the comments casting the four of us as various fandom characters. Never before have I been so pleased to be considered the Parker Leverage of the group.

Charles Dickens stared.

It was a good stare. Men with eyebrows like that tended to have good stares. He stared at the scene before him like an artist studying the work of a master, pouring over every detail, canyons of cogitation forming in the furrows of his magnificent eyebrows.

He said: “I think I’ve got it, now.”

The time traveller blinked. “Yeah?”

“This device-” Dickens gestured vaguely. “It might be an elaborate zoetrope. The players are not actually performing, but we see a succession of images that are played so quickly, the eye is fooled into believing that they may be so.”

“That’s. Definitely a way of looking at it.”

“And in this instance, the zoetrope is depicting something like a Punch and Judy show,” said Dickens. “Only by some cleverness, the professor operating the puppets has managed to make himself invisible.”

“Could be.”

Dickens sat back. “Then really, I don’t see what all the fuss is about. Although I do have one question.”

“Yes?”

“Why is Bob Cratchit a frog?”

The time traveller considered this. “Well,” he started. He stopped. “I guess - why not a frog?”

Charles Dickens’s magnificent eyebrows knotted together. Then he nodded. “Fair enough.”