using tumblr mobile and seeing people talk about a desktop layout change is like hearing a timer suddenly start ticking down. I am safe for now but I hear the danger

(by @mhalachai)

wyd after eating this

After you eat that you sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Sed rhoncus.

got my kobeni figure in today! it’s flimsier than i expected so i put it in a display case :)

don’t worry guys, she’s not trapped in there. see, the lid is removable :)

Artists should be scared

such a slay

Italian Bruce Wayne

If I can recommend you do 1 low-effort thing for the love of God it is this:

Keep 5 cards in your pocket. One will say "yes", the second will say "no."

If you lose your voice, or lose speech, or want to make a dramatic embellishment at the right time, it is an elegant and efficient solution that is right there at hand.

But what if people question you from there? "Why do you have that card? Why would you do this? How long have you had that in your pocket?" For this, or whatever else they say, the third card: "I don't have a card for that."

"What the fuck," they ask. They laugh. They are bemused. You bring the energy back down with the fourth card: "I have laryngitis. I've lost speech. My throat hurts". Whatever you expect to occur.

The joke is over. Rule of threes. Now they are curious. YThey wonder about logistics. "How did you know I would say that? Is everyone so predictable?"

As a three-part bit, nobody ever sees the fifth card coming.

"I have powerful wizard magics."

Gets them every time

On it boss!!

[id: a set of 5 UNO cards upon which has been written, "Yes", "no", "I don't have a card for that", "can't talk right now 😢", and "I have powerful wizard magics 🙂". End id]

hi guys so me and my partner just bingewatched the entire skibidi toilet . cinematic. universe. and i just want you all to know there is a 78 part series on youtube right now about these things like conquering society and committing acts of terror and getting into kaiju fights with giant cameramen and these videos get tens of millions of views and it was last updated yesterday and that entry has like 21 million views as of me writing it. so

also very important piece of context this content is like extremely popular with ipad kids. like just from the tags theres people who are like 'i work with kids and they will scream and cry if i dont put this on for them and theres a lot of people that are like 'how can kids watch this for hours and hours' and hoenstly after watching it i kind of get it. i get why kids would be completely obsessed with this as someone who grew up on weird ass gmod content i can see why this is so popular. like the skibidi toilet lore runs deep guys. theres skibidi toilet mind parasites who invade the minds of the cameramen. theres giant tv head people who beam bright red lights into the minds of the giant titan skibidi toilets and it makes them explode and die. some of the cameramen wear the bodies of the skibidi toilets who they killed, the toilet itself, as like boots as some sort of trophy. if kids arent watching this because they think its funny, then kids are watching this because they are compelled. the children long for skibidi toilet and who are we to deny them that

I think Nicole's new arms are SO fun.

tumblr in 2020:

Forgot that we had a deep tissue massage gun and thought my partner was offering to hunt me for sport to cheer me up last night.

Dys and Sol at the lake

hitting on a system of ancient river societies at the fertile crescent: "and is there a... Mistapotamia?"

not to give pirates of the caribbean too much credit but it really is the only major franchise Ive seen that was able to pull off the “historical and mythical exist at the same time” with any sort of success

#like how on land theyre in history but on sea theyre in mythology really communicates the wonder and love the #pirates have for the sea so much better than long soliloquies or good cinematography #and then the meta narrative is constantly indicating that the spread of empire and greed for money is driving it away #man……………………………………………………………….. (@liridi)

Building on this its so funny how everyone has a globe but the moment the pirates hit the seas they sail off of the end of the (flat) world. its all in the details etc etc

Holy shit he’s back

in america there is no word for train