everytime I stay at a hotel I take a bite out of the soap bar to confuse the cleaning staff

hey op real quick what the Actual fuck

Hey op you do realize that by actually biting a chunk of fucking soap you are in fact the one losing

y'all are just jealous that op is brave enough to monch on the forbidden chocolate…

I’m living

What does the forbidden chocolate taste like

soap

[ID: unfortunately, it’s two photographs of hotel soap with bites taken out of them.]

all this time…. i’ve been on tumblr for years…. i’ve seen this post on my dash, even in screenshots…. but never before have i realized that op is i-am-a-fish.

slap that pussy to pieces

this is my last resort

this website truly has some of the worst content on the internet

i got a rare condition

i got a glass dick and paper balls

every time i jump my dick just shatters and my nuts turn into origami paper cranes and fly away

and everytime we kiss i swear i could fly

@shittypostarchive I think I got something for ya.

Thanks

Is Santa Real

I Havfe Been Sach A Good Boar This Year In Anticipotion Of That Fat Red Fuck Bringing Me A Nice Yam Or Even Two But Elmer Said He Is Not Real Just Bullshit Made Up For Baby Boys And I Cant Stop Crying Is He Real 

29/09/2018

…this is about the best sentence mix I’ve done. And that’s because all I had to do was cut the middle out of “fine-looking.”

Please remember

Opossums are not rodents! They’re not even closely related to them. They are marsupials. 

Wrong! They are baby

This is not Loss.jpg artistically, but it is mood wise.

This is the best thing you could ever say to me thank you

I’m going to DIE at this English class analysis of my comic thank you so much I love you

i had to bring it full circle

it’s a goddamned matryoshka doll of memefuckery in here some days

this is cute as HELL

Same energy

Since everyone is reposting it, might as well just post it myself here. This was a commission, believe it or not, someone paid me to draw this.

some oddly specific advice from Hesiod (c700 BC)

which thicc girl hurt you (and stole your grain)

Grain-stealing thots

I’m trying to steal your granary but I’m dummy thicc and the clap of my decorated ass cheeks keeps alerting Hesiod

sjsfjh imagine if tumblr had memories like facebook does 

one year ago today you posted: “i wish i could fucking eat dirt like a worm"

I’M DEAD

Fun fact: if you know your feline body language, you’ll notice that the lynx is deferring to the housecat. As far as these two are concerned, the housecat is the higher-ranking cat.

OH MY GOSH

It’s because the cat is that lynx’s mom

basic anime girl: *sigh* i’m not as pretty as my sister (｡•́ ‸ •̀｡)

her sister: *has the exact same face and body*

her sister has the exact same face and body but she’s got huge badonkadonks. I mean huge whooperproperdrs.

Just say boobs you dumbfuck asshole

i mean huge wampeedamberfuckalongas

If time went backwards even for just one minute, tons of people would be violated by their poo jumping out of their toilet and back into their butts.