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Imaginary Landscape No. 3

@dynamics-of-intimidation

You’ve just realized something strange about the humans. They’re a race that joined the galaxy recently, but you’ve just found evidence of them already been part of it for many millennia before, but it feels like everybody’s forgotten.

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We were delighted when the people calling themselves ‘humans’ joined the spacefaring races. They were clever and agile, hot-tempered and humorous, fierce and yet friendly, a young species with much to offer us. 

Most species are still delighted. But we are the Bybleotekar, the recorders of the spaceways, and we have begun to wonder. Our merry companions are… not different, but too much the same. They understand so readily, accept so quickly - most new species have trouble adjusting to dealing with aliens, to the realities of space travel, to the sheer bigness of the universe. But the humans are so adaptable, so ready for it all, they might be remembering something they’ve forgotten, not learning something new. 

Some of us, the Izaslanik of the Bybleotekar, the gatherers of information for the record keepers, began encouraging humans to join us, that we might study them more closely. They like the work - they are a curious species, delighting in new knowledge, and they make able assistants. My human companion is named Mira, a young female. She is a good companion, who sings sweetly and laughs often. 

When Mira struck the first blow against what I thought I knew of the universe, against illusions soon to shatter that I had thought were truth, we were attending the coronation of a lesser Netar of the Kktil, recording the customs and ceremonies and unofficially enjoying the colourful celebrations. Mira was watching the dancing, her mouth widened in a ‘smile’. “It’s so pretty,” she said, her hairless face sheened with sweat under the hot sun. “I love the turquoise jewellery.” She pointed to the bright blue stones that bedecked the dancers. “I should buy some. Our homeworld doesn’t have any turquoise, you know. Only a few pieces we brought with us when we came.” 

It takes me a little while to understand what she said. It is only later, during the feasting, that I turn to her again. “You said your homeworld doesn’t have turquoise. Only… what you brought with you. Do you mean turquoise you have bought offworld, since you joined the spaceways?” 

"i let my friends/partner go through my phone" people baffle me like i don't even have anything worth hiding on mine and id still turn it into shrapnel before i let anyone browse through it. id prefer it be a fine metallic mist than let anyone see the recipe tabs i have open. it's my right and my right alone to know what strange games i downloaded from janky yet intriguing ads

honestly the human brain is so small that you *will* forget how much beauty there is out there to experience unless you leave your house every three days. ik its fucked up but i promise its true

my brain, trying to deceive me: there's literally nothing outside!!!!! it's the same neighborhood it's always been !!!!!

me, tying my shoes: shut up shut up!!!! by god we're gonna try to find magic in mundane today !!!!

listen to me. listen. your actual job in life, and it sucks that your 5th grader teacher didnt explain this adequately enough, is to ask for help when you need it and to accept charity when it would take a weight from your shoulders. Otherwise you end up like Sisyphus- or even worse, Walter White

previous tags, the visibility of this post is geared towards my specific neurodivergencies/disabilities. It is easiest for me to read and process words when they have varying visual textures. I'm about to start blocking people who make fun of that.

Learn to change or seal your fate

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truly my LEAST favorite form of advertisement these days is the faux-tiktoker/influencer who is here to Sell Me Something. the “omg unbox my Pureology (TM) skincare haul!!!” “doing the #NespressoChallenge!!!” “you guys will not BELIEVE what i got from shein-“ like its scary. its WEIRD. not only do i have no idea who these perfectly manicured, babytalking people are they feel less like real people than even an actual advertiser does. stop trying to make me believe you are my friend. you are something inhuman to me. you are a changeling. you are a brand wearing ill fitting human skin and i see its skeletal shape shift beneath the surface.

anyways (I say this as someone who is deeply critical of the united states government, military, unchecked capitalism, police, etc) I am SICK of people treating america as if it has no cultural value or positives so….. I love u 85 million acres (bigger than italy) of national parks. I love u harlem renaissance. I love u groundhogs day. I love u sweet tea and fried chicken and jambalaya. I love u apple cider donuts and maizes on crisp autumn days. I love u 95k miles of coastlines and new england fisherman and hand knitted sweaters. I love u halloween where millions of people dress up and give candy to strangers and carve jack o’lanterns. I love u small talk and small towns and potlucks and bringing over casseroles to your struggling neighbors. I love u cowboys and ranch hands and arizonian cactus. I love u appalachian trail and dirtbikes and divebars. I love u sparklers and fireflies. I love u mark twain and toni morrison and emily dickinson and henry david thoreau. I love u rock n roll i love u bluegrass and hippies i love u jimi hendrix and nirvana and CCR and janis joplin. I love u victorian houses and jonny appleseed and john henry and mothman and bigfoot. I love u foggy days in the pacific northwest and neon signs and roadside attractions. I love u baseball and 1950s diners and soft serve. I love u native american art and pop art and poptarts. I love u blue jeans and barbecues and jazz musicians 

romanticizing your life is such a powerful tool and it’s a shame that it’s mostly used by people on tiktok to justify the purchase of expensive breakfast smoothies when there are few better ways to force oneself through unpleasant shit than imagining a cinematic backstory for your extremely quotidian suffering

starting a new company, Autistic Auditors, where we send blunt autistic people to check up on things like companies to stand there and be like “actually that thing the CEO said made no sense, elaborate” and pushing them to actually explain their dodgy corporate language that avoids accountability and reliability. Just really grind them down with repeated “why” and “but what does that mean” and writing down the answers in clear and obvious language.

IDK I’m just sick of hearing how Business Bros talk and how many people are suckers for it. I want blunt people standing there going “hey, that guy didn’t actually SAY anything, he just strung together a bunch of nonsense corporate words to make you think ‘ooo profit’ but there’s nothing substantial here”

We would do the same to politicians.

you know how when you go out in the middle of the woods, your phone loses internet service? that is because the trees naturally protect you from the evil dark energy rays generated by influencers and twitter opinions. follow for more information about the beauty of nature

Realizing you can like people aesthetically without it dictating your sexuality is so liberating tbh. Like, one can adore, even be obsessed with, the looks of someone of the same sex and still be straight. One can find people beautiful, and handsome, and fascinating, and still be asexual. I can like the physical appearance of someone of the opposite sex and still be gay. Finding physical beauty in people doesn’t equal to being physically, or sexually, or romantically attracted to them. Human beauty isn’t inherently sexual. Just wanted to put it out there.

Reagan-era "stranger danger" panic has done so much harm to americans' sense of community. It cemented the idea that only the nuclear family could be trusted with the care of the child, deterred people from cooperative living with an extended community, and continues to place abuse victims in danger by perpetuating the misconception that most child abuse is done by strangers rather than someone they know. It is in our best interest to become more interdependent than we were raised to be.

Y’know what? Fuck you. *Plays an acoustic guitar version of your leitmotif to show you still have tenderness and care in your heart, and compassion for others*

yeah? well fuck YOU *plays a music box version of your leitmotif to show that this is your home and its comfortable and nostalgic here*

No, piss off! *plays your leitmotif with immense reverb and a toned-down synth sound to show that nostalgia can also be about loss of what never truly was, a reflection of a reflection and a false memory of a false memory*

ok, boomer. *plays your leitmotif using discordant synth bass to display your spiral into villainy after you discover that your memories were a fabricated illusion that were created just to keep you complacent, and how that information is destroying you*

How many times do I have to teach you this lesson, old man? *plays your leitmotif in harmony with my own, intensity of both changing as our climactic battle’s balance shifts back and forth, eventually leaving only one with long, low pauses to musically represent our mutual struggle to overtake the other, yet not being able to exist in full without them.*

oh, you’re going to regret that! *plays your leitmotif on piano in short, soft notes to show that you’re being worn down, and that your energy is at a low, but with a steadily rising bassline that foreshadows your upcoming second form*

tonysopranobignaturals-deactiva

gaslighting someone by saying they're too smart to be gaslit so you're not gaslighting them

tonysopranobignaturals-deactiva

this would work on me

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No it wouldn’t. You’re too smart.

Posts like this are like modern day fables. Yeah ill reblog this funny little exchange, but next time someone says this to me ill remember this post and hear kill bill sirens.