Reblog if you’re going to lose weight in 2019 and NOTHING is going to stop you.

Only reblog if you’re determined to succeed!!!’

A note to my body

I am sorry.

I have cut you, hit you, and burnt you. I have shoved more food into you than you can handle, jammed my fingers down your throat, and starved you for days until all you can see is stars.

I’ve consumed too much alcohol, too many substances, and exercised you into the ground.

But what I am the most sorry for is that I can’t seem to stop… no matter how much I want to be better for you, I don’t know how to stop this self destruction.

And for that, I am truly sorry

But I don’t want to be here

I don’t want to be me

I don’t want to be confined to this horrible world and this disgusting body

I hate this world

It’s so unbearable

Waking up everyday is painful

I have a constant pit in my stomach

I enjoy nothing

I’m constantly stuck crying about the past or worrying about the future

I have no ambitions or talents

I don’t know what I’m doing with my life

I lack basic human emotions

All I feel now is

Anger

Fear

And emptiness

I care more about the ghosts watching me than my family or friends and I don’t want that

I want to be able to care

I hate having to pretend so that I don’t seem like a shitty person

I WANT TO CARE AGAIN

There’s so much going on in my mind and yet it’s completely empty

I keep getting glimpses of hope and then the next morning they’re gone

And I can’t tell the difference between my imagination and reality anymore

I don’t know what’s real

I don’t know if this is real

I feel so disconnected from everything and everyone

So disconnected from myself

If this fourth round of CBT and these new meds don’t help

Then I don’t know how long I’ll be able to hang on

I don’t want to kill myself

But I’m so close to doing it

I’m constantly fighting off the urges to harm myself and throw things and punch things and harm people

If I keep going the way I’m going

If I keep losing emotion

If I keep seeing them

If I keep panicking in the dark and at night

If I keep rotting in my room and not doing anything with myself

If I keep feeling so disconnected from this reality

Then I might take myself out of it

I don’t want to die

But I can’t stand this life or this world anymore

You made it

You’ve made it this far, and I’m so, so, so proud of you. You’ve done amazing. You’ve gotten through everything life has to throw at you and that is a huge achievement. Not everyone has the strength to keep going, but you do, you’ve made it this far, and we are all so proud of you for it. You can do this. You are worth it.

I know it’s hard, I really do. It might feel hopeless, lost, like there’s no reason anymore. But there is a reason, because you’ve made it. You’ve come such a long way and that is absolutely inspiring.

You woke up today, and that’s wonderful. I’m proud of you for waking up.

You’re doing your best, even if your best isn’t THE best. You don’t have to be the best, you just need to do your best and that’s enough. Please try your best, but it’s okay if you need a break. Take some time for a nap, recharge your energy, eat a snack, drink some water, do something creative if you can!

Just please keep going.

If you see this, know that we are all so proud of you.

Happy World Mental Health Day- and may you live to see many, many more of them.

The signs as Blink-182 lyrics

Aries: “I am as bright as the sun, I burn up all that I choose”

Taurus: “I laughed the loudest who’d have known”

Gemini: “ I think I’m falling asleep but then all that means is I’ll always be dreaming of you”

Cancer: “Cause good girls they like to sin”

Keep reading

@the anon that left an ask but I accidentally deleted it I’m sorry.

SOMEONE LEFT AN ASK ABOUT HOW TO STOP BINGING AND I DELETED IT MY BADDDDD.

ANYWAY

Start off with a higher daily calorie limit. If you’re going too low too fast your body is going to want to get as much in as possible when you do eat. Start out at maybe 1000 and do that for about a week and slowly lower it. This will help you get full with less food.

Set a food rule about chewing, drinking and peices. I.e make sure you completely chew and swallow whatever is in your mouth before you put more in. Drink plenty as you’re eating, it’ll help full you up. And section and seperate your food into smaller portions, you’ll eat slower.

Try wasabi peas. They are impossible to eat more than one at a time, they force you to eat slower. Wasabi also suppresses your appetite and boosts your metabolism. They are a littler higher in calories so I recommend either watching your portions or only eating them in the beginning to help you adopt slower eating habits.

Drink 0 calories drink (other than water, preferably with caffine. It will help fill the void of eating out of Bordem and they taste pretty good too. Caffine will help suppress your appetite and boost your metabolism. My favourite is sugar free/ diet energy drinks.

Finally as a last resort have “binge foods”. Basically stuff that is low enough in calories that if you binged on them you would still be relatively safe. So sugar free/diet jelly, cucumbers, pickles and other veggies, halo top (or other similar) ice creams, soup/broth. Basically when you feel a binge coming on force yourself to eat foods like his over others and you’ll end up with less calories.

Sucking on ice cubes, frozen fruit or drink can really help, it gives you something to do and can be quite enjoyable.

Brushing your teeth (try not to do it excessively) chewing gum (especially mint) will also help.

But there are sometimes when binging is just going to happen. When you’re literally starving yourself your body is going to want to eat as much as it can whatever chance it gets. So sometimes your brain will tell you it’s okay or you’ll feel great or really want to do it/not care. Binging is going to happen, it’s just what your body does. Try to avoid it but don’t beat yourself up about it. Drink plenty, try to exercise and most importantly move on. DO NOT TRY TO FAST TO CONTERACT IT. For some it works and if you are good at fasting sure but if you find yourself to binge after/when fasting it’s not a good idea. Forgive yourself and move on.

Hope this helps.

Let Yourself Binge.

Don’t go crazy just yet lol

Give yourself the permission to binge, but only if you, in order and completely:

1. Chug a liter of water

2. Run 5 sets of stairs (or around the lot 5 times)

3. 100 jumping jacks, 20 squats, and repeat

4. Write your name 20 times with the least-dominant hand, then draw a wombat from memory

5. Snuggle your pet to oblivion, or watch 3 cute animal videos

6. Stretch, breathe in for 5, out for 10, and do that for 5 min in the dark

7. Take a Buzzfeed quiz and try to get every single option, read every comment

8. Call your mother and ask her about your first milestones

9. Shove a straw completely through a potato (it’s possible!)

10. Take an extra hot shower with loud music on and your favorite soap

11. Practice your best twerk moves to your favorite classical music

12. Choose a date for the end of the world and explain why in 500 words

13. Ask your neighbors for a AAA battery, then find something in your house that needs it and do something with that thing for 15 min

14. Draw the perfect circle. Find a bug and put it inside.

15. Say your life story in the mirror to yourself 5 times with 5 different emotions

Bet you won’t want to anymore.

Can my eating disorder either go away completely or be bad enough that I’m actually skinny

that’s a mood

me 24/7

gonna put this out there:

eating 1000 calories will not make you gain weight.  (unless your metabolism is dead - but typically, no.)  so if you feel like you’re going to faint or you’re too weak;  you will not gain weight if your calorie intake is 1000 calories.  most of us (including me) restrict insanely low. 500, 200, 800.  and that’s okay, we’re sick. it’s expected.  but! your safety is important. eating a banana because you almost passed out during chemistry is okaaayyyy. breathe. you’re okay.  you will not gain weight because you ate a little extra.  if you ate 800 and felt too weak to function and ate a little bit of toast to help that and your intake got up to 950, it’s okay.  (specific example. just to make things even simpler.)  so breathe, have some tea. you’re okay. you’re fine. 

Seconding this! Please eat something if you think you are going to pass out or anything like that!!!

Stay safe, it’s okay to eat, you’ll be okay!

We all need to hear this every once and a while. Including me!

in case u stressed abt school

gonna put this out there:

eating 1000 calories will not make you gain weight.  (unless your metabolism is dead - but typically, no.)  so if you feel like you’re going to faint or you’re too weak;  you will not gain weight if your calorie intake is 1000 calories.  most of us (including me) restrict insanely low. 500, 200, 800.  and that’s okay, we’re sick. it’s expected.  but! your safety is important. eating a banana because you almost passed out during chemistry is okaaayyyy. breathe. you’re okay.  you will not gain weight because you ate a little extra.  if you ate 800 and felt too weak to function and ate a little bit of toast to help that and your intake got up to 950, it’s okay.  (specific example. just to make things even simpler.)  so breathe, have some tea. you’re okay. you’re fine. 

Seconding this! Please eat something if you think you are going to pass out or anything like that!!!

Stay safe, it’s okay to eat, you’ll be okay!

I’m stuck

Real/non cute ana things

-wrist/body checking in public and having people see you and looking grossed out

-going to the grocery store just wandering around hella stressed with nothing in your cart bc everything has too many calories

-wanting to eat but being too nauseous too

-depression/anxiety getting much worse

-being too scared to go into the kitchen, being too scared to take care of your body

-low blood sugars

-when it stops being fun and motivating and you want to recover but you can’t

-starving yourself all day so you’ll have enough calories left to drink and then getting so sick and hungover

-body dysmorphia, not even being able to appreciate your progress because you can’t even see what you look like anymore, it’s all just fat

-not being able to see food, only calories

-honestly having everyday be hell

finally, something real