I Dont Even Know Anymore

me receiving an email from a company i applied to

me opening it and seeing yet another fucking automated rejection message

It’s better to be alone in your room than to feel lonely in a group.

Being an adult is like one of those choose your own adventure stories but every option sounds terrible and costs way too much

We can travel to the moon, observe atoms, almost cure cancer, but we can’t zoom in on gifs.

This year’s best halloween costume goes to theses Japanese art students -

Unvaccinated kids are just using the free trial of life.

Churches are just really dedicated book clubs.

People with AirPods will never have the joy of having their ear buds save their phone from falling again.

For anyone that dosent know that was his actual personal phone number

OMFG I JUST CALLED IT AND IT IS YOU GET HUS ACTUAL VOICEMAIL

ALSKSOSNEISA

ITS A REAL NUMBER

“No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service” implies that it’s perfectly okay to walk in without pants.

According to the law of conservation of mass, the atoms that make up your body aren’t yours, it’s just your turn to use them.

A real, actual, I-am-not-fucking-lying-to-you-this-truly-happened moment from the Christmas special Rapsittie Street Kids: Believe in Santa

ricky: great-grandma, you always know just what to say!

ricky’s great-grandma: dohuhohohwhehelghuhohokesynohehCHRISTMAS huahhahohoho

I thought of this while i was driving today and almost drove into my mailbox