I have one brain cell and it bounces around in my skull like a windows screen saver

When it bounces perfectly in the corner i experience a Thought

me, making a phone call: god i hope they don’t answer

there’s only one way i want to end this year and that’s drunk 

Reblog if you wish cancer didn't exist.

You’re now one day closer to eating your next pizza.

Drinking alchohol is borrowing hapiness from the next day.

Best thing today?

I dyed @drunkdragonfly ’s hair today and we expected it to turn out as a nice rose shade but nope, its almost hot pink and honestly? I did an awesome job

Yesterday @drunkdragonfly and I found out that our parents birthday is the same day, today. The difference? I have a gift for my dad, she kinda forgot that its her mums birthday.

timmy turner was a horrible person

dude generally meant well and more importantly Was Ten so cut the kid some slack dan

He’s actually sixty years old, though. No really, in a special it was revealed Cosmo granted Timmy’s wish for everyone to stop aging so he could keep his fairy godparents forever and then wished for Cosmo to forget he granted the first wish, and it was literally fifty years before anyone found out.

FUCKING WHAT

Wait what

In case if yall don’t think its true…..

the FUCK

https://www.instagram.com/thepersonalquotes/

i love being called baby

there she goes again being over dramatic and by she i mean me

We adore/praise Cats now online as much as the Egyptians did in real life.

21 is like the perfect age: you now have the privileges of an adult, but people don’t expect you to do actual adult things just yet.

me: *gets emotional* me, later: embarassing!

🐝 save the bees

🌳 save the trees

🌊 save the seas

With Jeff Bezos having $116.8 billion and the average person having 100 billion brain cells, Jeff Bezos literally has more money than sense.