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Drowning The Joy In Me

@drownedjoy

17, recovering/suffering from depression, self harm, eating disorders, drug addiction, and suicidal. Please do not terminate this blog, it is simply here for me to express myself, the intent is not to promote any negative behaviours!!

You were the nightmare that kept me awake

We dont love eachother the same.

You told me to get rid of and block my close male friend of almost 5 years because you FELT like he was flirting with me… So I DID! …. BUT when I ask you to get rid of and block your ex, who you cheated on me with MORE than once! Unlike you i did NOT just “feel” like it was happening. You say you “can’t” leave her because your “excuse” is, “I’ve known her for almost 4 years.”

Now you see, thats the issue. I’m willing to lose anything for you, but as soon as the tables turn, you won’t do the same for me.

THATS why i left you. Because we love each other differently and I know you’d never be able to love me with the same magnitude as i do you….

Sometimes i feel like the only reason you want to keep me around is because i look good for you. Your family hates her and loves me… Even you told me that… but I’m a person with feelings too…

THE WORD LOVE DOESNT MEAN ANYTHING TO ME ANYMORE… or....... at least not when it leaves your lips. 😭😭😭

me: ok guys, i’m hungry so i’ll go to bed now
common sense: wait that’s not how..
me: good night, see you tomorrow!<3