Quackity: Alright, let's see. Ah, this is- Hey! This is false! [In a heavy accent] Wilbur, if you are seeing this picture, MFer is fake! Is fake! They trying to make me look desperate!

[In Spanish] Why am I saying- I speak English-

[In his normal voice] Wilbur, if you see this picture, don't fcking believe it, it's fake, it's edited. They're tryin' to make me look desperate, I'm not desperate. I'll wait as much as you need me to wait. I'm not desperate at all. This sht is fake.

if the satanic panic was happening now a lot of you guys would be like “DNI if you don’t believe survivors of satanic ritual abuse at daycare”

don’t be scared to ask that person out. the worst they could do is say ‘no’ and then begin attacking you with their bare hands, ripping the skin off your face and tearing out chunks off flesh from your arms and disemboweling you

why is pete wentz in my psychology book

“im worried my friends dont like me as much as much as i like them” L + ratio + 3 cups of lukewarm water + 4 1/2 tsp instant yeast (2 packets) + 6 cups all purpose flour + 1 tbsp salt + any filling of your choice + mix water, yeast, and any possible filling in large mixing bowl + mix flour and salt in separate bowl + dump flour mixture into yeast mixture and stir with a wooden spoon or spatula + cover bowl with dry towel and let it rise for an hour or until it’s doubled in size + after first prove use spatula to loosen dough from the bowl + cover hands in flour and place dough on parchment paper + put a dry kitchen towel on top of dough and let prove for 30 more minutes + preheat oven and place dutch oven (with lid on) inside while it preheats + remove pot from oven, take the lid off, and use the corners of parchment paper to place dough in the pot + put the lid on + bake for 35 minutes with the lid on + take the lid off and keep it in for 20-25 more minutes/until it’s golden brown + you have warm bread now. i love you.

One thing I really love about seedy anime websites and YouTube mp3 converters is like. They actually do what they say they’re doing. But they WILL try to trick you into downloading a virus. Like it’s almost just a greeting at this point. I try to extract a song from a YouTube video and it says free VPN installer tonight perhaps? Free VPN installer tonight queen? And I say YouTube-mp3 converter you sly dog, you know what I’m here for. Show me the goods. And YouTube-mp3 converter says ahhh you got me, no getting one over on you. Thought it was worth a try tho. Here you go king x

my friend took in a stray and she’s the cutest kitty ever but he named her oil so whenever he sends a picture of her me and my other friends look like we’re roleplaying as the US military

in our defense this is oil

Scissor Wizard and Paper Wizard

It’s probably fine to leave them alone together.

Improvise. Adapt. Overcome.

rule

I wasn't sure about uploading this but the world needs more gelphie art.

"This fic was ai generated—" Cool, so lemme block you real quick

hey guys so apparently the boss baby was based off a book

Yeah.

Don’t Like That

But wait, there’s more!

Watch the transitions from book to Dreamworks movie.

I’m going back to bed

Everyone who contributed to me having to see this die

think it's a deep consolation to know that spiders dream, that monkeys tease predators, that dolphins have accents, that lions can be scared silly by a lone mongoose, that otters hold hands, and ants bury their dead. that there isn't their life and our life. nor your life and my life. that it's just one teetering and endless thread and all of us, all of us, are entangled w it as deep as entanglement goes. v neat i think.

characters with prey animal rage

characters with both the abject terror and murderous desperation of an animal that knows it is cornered and destined to be eaten. you just can't get that kind of angst out a successful hunter. but alternatively i posit: predator animal fear. which is a totally different thing

This transition is straight out of a horror movie

@heymynameismolly-jk wow