the rainy days

“find love. find love like the one you dreamed of as a five year old which involves flowers and dates and promises. and for a minute just forget what happened in your last relationship. find love like the one that existed in the fairy tales books your father used to read out to you everyday before bed. find love you believe in. find love you want to write stories and poems about. find love you’d tell your daughter to chase. find love you would choose without having second thoughts. find love you just don’t just have to settle for. find love worth waiting for. find love.”

“If anyone asked me “What is hell?” I would answer “Distance between people who love each other.”

““I compare him to you a lot,” she says, a smile growing on her lips. “The way he looks at me, you never looked at me like that. Like I was something precious, something to cherish. You never listened, you’d brush away my views and opinions and insist you were right. He doesn’t. He listens, takes in my view and respects it. You never held me like he does. You’d make it seem like a chore, something you had to do. He takes my hand when I don’t expect it, pulls me close and kisses me like he can’t stop himself.” Her smile is beaming, but it’s not for him. Not anymore. “I compare him to you a lot because now I see how bad you were for me. I thought I was happy with you, but now I know I am so much happier with him than I ever was with you.””

“WHEN YOU’RE FALLING OUT OF LOVE: 1. his smile used to drip honey but now it is all chipped iceberg teeth in a sea of red. 2. the butterflies try their best to escape but they just drop dead in the pit of your stomach every time he touches your hand. 3. you’ll find yourself forcing laughter through a closed mouth. 4. you’ll find a new home on the shoulder of the boy who sits next to you in class. you’ll spend the hours studying the softness of his hands instead, imagining how they might feel in your hair. 5. he is no longer what you search for in the spaces between the masses of people around. you just keep walking as tall as you possibly can. 6. you see his laid back nature as laziness and his jokes as misogynistic and you can’t believe you’ve been living with rose-tinted glasses this whole time. 7. catching his eye feels all types of guilty because you can’t love him the way he wants you to anymore. 8. your cheeks will flush with poppies when the boy that sits next to you in class whispers your name. you’ll feel hurricanes ripping through your insides, blowing away all the dust that settled on your heart. 9. all the sheets of paper you filled with poetry about him you’ll want to burn because it doesn’t make sense anymore; it doesn’t feel real anymore. 10. you always said forever but sometimes forever can seem so short that before you know it, you’ve already forgotten what his name feels like when you hold it on your tongue.”