The Husbands of River Song

Okay, this is gonna be a long one, kids. I know it’s the unpopular opinion, but I have issues with River - that’s a post for another day though. 😅

So, now that I’ve finally recovered from Face the Raven - Hell Bent (I mean, recovered as I’m likely ever gonna be), I decided to finally watch this and boy do I have thoughts. I even made gifs. lol.

TL;DR - basically, the whole “in love with River” thing is more kindness than anything and even with the block, he still remembers Clara.

To start though - really, this whole neuro-block thing makes no f***ing sense at all. Like, he doesn’t wonder why there’s graffiti all over the box with the girl from the diner on it?! He sees a message on the chalkboard, but doesn’t react or think ‘hey, that’s weird, someone’s been in here’? So he can remember some of what they did, but not her? 🤦‍♀️ Convoluted much? Ugh. Anyway…

1) The TARDIS was trying to ‘cheer him up’ from a melancholy he couldn’t have understood, right? Obviously it also knew Clara and everything between them, having been there for most of it. The TARDIS’ memories weren’t erased, so that’s a real sad start right off the top. Geez.

2) River - the supposed genius, ‘great love’ of the Doctor, his ‘wife’ of all people, couldn’t figure out it was him? Really? Or as he said, “Seriously?” Even after he flat out said it like 5 times?! ~~Look, Clara MF Oswald would have figured out it was him, I guarantee. Just sayin.~~

3) DOCTOR: “Stop holding my hand, people don’t do that to me.” Ok, ouch, right in the “things he’s forgotten” feels, I see how this is gonna go.

4) Here, however, I think he absolutely was still having bits of memories about Clara (even if he didn’t realize it/couldn’t see her?). The first one that struck me was in the restaurant. I whipped up this GIF - just look at his face here:

He is so uneasy. You can see he’s thinking it’s familiar somehow, but he can’t place it, so it’s upsetting him. Even River asks why he’s frowning. He blames it on concern for the deadlock seal, but I don’t think so… ’cause, well, hello:

5) “I don’t like lying down people.” It struck me as such an odd comment. This one may be a stretch, but all I could think was…

6) I’m big into body language cues, especially with people who can’t seem to use their words to say how they feel *cough* 12 *cough*. When Flemming is asking River about the Doctor, he’s watching her. BUT when he says “ You’re the woman he loves” - he immediately glares at him & looks away, swallowing hard.

Aversion of the eyes relates to uncomfortable feelings & embarrassment. The hard swallow indicates high stress & embarrassment as well. If the statement were true, there would be no reason for him to feel ashamed. He feels bad. 🤷‍♀️

7) Speaking of body language… her reaction when she finally realizes it’s him:

Looks *super* thrilled, doesn’t she? WTF. To add insult to injury, the first thing she says is that he needs to dye his hair. Are they serious with this? I realize it was supposed to be funny, but I didn’t think it was, she looked 100% dismayed.

8) River asks how he managed to get a new face and he simply replies “ A thing happened.” So…does he not remember what or how? That the only reason he is even still alive is because of a ‘thing’ that is 5″2′, with big brown eyes who loved him so much, that she literally begged the Time Lords to save him? 😒

9) As the towers play music, River notices him looking very sad and even asks if he’s crying. People assume it’s because he knows it’s their last night, BUT I disagree and posit that it was making him think of Clara for several reasons:

Of course he averts the question, but moments later he says… EVERY CHRISTMAS IS LAST CHRISTMAS! Literally. Quoting. Her.
River says she expects him to save her somehow and he flat out tells her ~~I will torture myself for 4.5 billion years and burn this whole fucking universe to the ground to try and save you~~ no. Adding, rather bitterly, that he can’t always save the day and there’s no such thing as happy ever after. Hmmm…
The Doctor, about the towers, “when you least expect it, but always when you need it the most (ahem) -pause for him to get INCREDIBLY choked up- there is a song.” Literally the last thing Clara would ever say to him:

You said memories become stories when we forget them. Maybe some of them become songs.

10) RIVER: You can’t expect a monolith to love you back.

DOCTOR: No, you can’t.

I mean… that seemed pretty clear to me, especially with her reaction.

11) Supposedly a night on Darillium is 24 years, but does that necessarily equate to earth years? This was about the most out of character thing. I’m sorry, but when have you EVER known the Doctor to be able to stand being in one place for a long time (not including 3 because he was exiled without a working TARDIS, so that was unwillingly). Not to mention leaving Earth unprotected for a quarter century???

12) Having the hotel built, making her a sonic and staying with her are all touted as grand gestures that validate his love for her. I’ve never gotten that vibe with them though. Whenever I see the Doctor interact with River - I feel like it’s watching that one friend that falls all over themselves about a guy who’s really not interested. But he’s nice about it, not wanting to hurt her feelings - because he can see how much she idolizes him and he *does* care for her in his own way. But is River Song his ‘true love’? Absolutely not. Sorry.

13) No Kiss?! You finally have an “age appropriate” (insert eyeroll) woman, they’re in this big romantic setting, on supposedly their last night, on Christmas and nothing? I feel like that kinda speaks volumes on its own.

As an aside, I’d also like to point out in 7x13 when River begged him not to go into his own timestream. He had no idea if he’d make it out alive, which if he didn’t, would have ended their story. Instead, he sweetly kissed her goodbye and yeeted himself right in there with no hesitation - all to save Clara.

Oh, did I mention the 4.5 BILLION YEARS OF TORTURE? Ok, just checking.

Airing only a couple weeks after “Hell Bent” felt like kind of a slap in the face in a way, if that makes sense? Just seemed to me more like fanservice for the Yowzah crowd & Moffat wanting to wrap up her storyline before leaving the show.

This is all just my opinions, and how I see it. It’s okay if we disagree. ✌💙

#doctor who #episode thoughts #clara is the doctors true love

Books Are A Glimpse To Another Reality.

The Husbands of River Song

Doctor Who OC: Shareen Mariah Costello

OC Masterlist