*Heart in Hand
I spend every waking moment trying to understand this feeling. Your constant presence on my mind has left me reeling.
I take measures to push you out. Searching for distractions and anything to place doubt.
I go about with this endless sensation, that you'll flee, and I'll be left in paralyzation.
Will I muster the strength to let you go? I hear your voice in my head telling me just to go with the flow.
If you only knew how addicted I am already, how you intoxicate me. You'd run for your life, you'd want to break free.
I'm always searching for new horizons to explore, I worried you're drawing me to stay and that I'll search no more.
Perhaps you'll join me instead, I implore.
Though I suppose my true fear is that you'll leave me in a state of peril, without scarcely so much as a farewell.
Wanting to break your heart before you break mine. What a sick mentality I find difficult to leave behind.
I guess it's clear that I crave more, I sometimes feel you pull away, ever so slightly, as if my existence interests you less that before.
So here I stand with an open mind and heart in hand, do as you will, as I can only hope that I'll withstand.
Bella Bercaw
May 10th, 2017
