@periigozo

I feel so lost in life right now.

“My husband got involved with a younger woman at work.  I was relaxed about it at first.  He’s thirteen years younger than me, so I thought: ‘Shit happens.’  But then she got pregnant.  Luckily through the divorce process I had the opportunity to take over this shithole place with no heating, which I’ve turned into an art studio. And now I’m living my best life.  Everything is for sale except the pink chandelier and the dog.  Anyone is free to stop by at anytime.  You can eat or drink whatever you want.  All the young people in the neighborhood love me.  I’m the oldest person in our friend group.  Everyone else is in their twenties or thirties.  They call me Queen Mama.  I call them my adopted kids.  I always help them with their school projects and resumes and interviews.  I only ask one thing in return.  Each of them has to teach me one new thing every week: a piece of music, a trend, an idea.  Just so I can stay up to date.  Before you take the photograph, let me go inside and put on some make-up.  We were out until 2 AM last night.” (Amsterdam, The Netherlands)

Finally free

As i stood there, there at the edge of the cliff. All i could think about was how beautiful it was. How peaceful it was. How different it was. I heard the water flowing, so rigorous but yet so thoughtless. Then i laughed to myself. Water doesn’t have thought. Let alone feelings. Then i remembered myself. I just described myself. “No, not now” i thought. No more dreadful feelings. Only feelings of happiness. There, standing at the edge of that cliff i felt free. No one could tell me to stop. I was infinite. I counted down the seconds in my head until i would jump. Ten, nine, eight, seven, six… My heart was pounding. I felt the adrenaline rushing through my body quickly like the water flowing in between the rocks. I slowed down. Five… Four… Three… Its now or never. Two… I took in one last breath of air as i spoke, “one…” I jumped and this time, i felt my heart pounding even harder. But it wasn’t anxiety anymore. It was excitement. I felt the wind hit my face. I slowly stretched out my arms to my sides. I was flying. I was soaring. I was… Free. No more worries. Who knows what would happen once i hit the water? I didn’t. But it didn’t matter. Nothing but myself mattered. Once again i counted the seconds until i would hit the water. Five… I extended my arms in front of myself and put my palms together… Four… Three… I felt the rush of energy… Two… One… I hit the water. I felt nothing. Just the cold touch of the water on my body. I wondered “was i dead?” “Was i alive?”. In that short period of time i felt a swift, calm feeling. I flowed through the water slowly and carefully. I felt myself rising slowly to the surface. My head rose out of the water and i took in a large gasp of air. I thought “ i did it. I really did it”, and at that very moment, i knew that i could do anything. I realized that i had the biggest grin in my face, and my insides felt like a million swarming butterflies. “I did it”. I slowly swam to land, disappointed that it was over. But i felt accomplished. Like i was somehow on top of the world. As i headed to my belongings i continued to smile. It was a real smile. Something that i had not been able to do for so long. Since that day, nothing was the same. For the better. -me

Love yourself enough to set boundaries. Your time and energy are precious.

George R.R. Martin, A Game of Thrones  (via wordsnquotes)

Unknown (via lovelustquotes)