“”EXPECTO PATRONUM!” Harry yelled. Nothing happened. Harry gripped his dick tighter and shook it up and down until a thick, whispy white substance protruded from the end of it.”
“Panting, Harry fell forwards over the hydrangea bush, straightened up and stared around. There were several faces peering through various nearby windows. Harry stuffed his dick hastily back into his jeans and tried to look innocent.”
OH MY GOD I AM DEAD
Tumblr tho
wouldnt it be fucking scary if you had a clock that counted down until the moment you die. like what if it could be altered too like one day it says 70 years left but then you do something and it says 10 minutes left and youre like what the fuck i fucked up i fucked up i fucked up
what if our use of emojis gradually becomes so extensive that we actually circle back to writing in hieroglyphics
Things Harry can:
- Sing - Bake bread bec he used to be a baker - Roam around LA while showing his fucking hard nipples - Be cute and dork
Things Harry can’t:
- Do the nae nae dance (OR DANCE in general) - Deliver funny jokes, funnier than Niall’s laugh
Oh My god
why is this better than the actual song
Perfecttt😍😍😍😍
HARRY DID ZAYN’S HIGH NOTE IN READY TO RUN IM SCREAMIN
OMG
“My wife got sick. She was constantly nervous because of problems at work, personal life, her failures and children. She lost 30 pounds and weighted about 90 pounds. She got very skinny and was constantly crying. She was not a happy woman. She had suffered from continuing headaches, heart pain and jammed nerves in her back and ribs. She did not sleep well, falling asleep only in the mornings and got tired very quickly during the day. Our relationship was on the verge of a break up. Her beauty was leaving her somewhere, she had bags under her eyes, and she stopped taking care of herself. She refused to shoot the films and rejected any role. I lost hope and thought that we’ll get divorced soon… But then I decided to act. After all I’ve got the most beautiful woman on earth. She is the idol of more than half of men and women on earth, and I was the one allowed to fall asleep next to her. I began to shower her with flowers, kisses and compliments. I surprised and pleased her every minute i could. I gave her a lot of gifts and i lived just for her. I spoke in public only about her. I incorporated all themes in her direction. I praised her in front of her own and our mutual friends. You won’t believe it, but she blossomed. She became better. She gained weight, was no longer nervous and loved me even more than ever. I had no clue that she could love that much. And then I realized one thing: the woman is the reflection of her man.” ~ Brad Pitt about Angelina Jolie
