Blossoming Van Gogh (1853-1890)
SPIRITED AWAY (2001) dir. Hayao Miyazaki
concept sketches / final result
but you see her on instagram and it was never really said that you guys arenโt friends but one day she stopped answering and you stopped texting and itโs not like the wound is a cavern but it is a diagram of what ifย in red letters. you want to tell her nice lipstick thatโs a good colorย but the last time you spoke it was stilted and awkwardย
how do you say goodbye, you know? itโs not an unfriend and block kind of situation. but you watch the people you once loved go on and have a life and youโre outside of it. and itโs bittersweet because of course itโs okay that youโre both thriving. but she used to be who youโd call if you needed to cry. she used to be whoโd youโd be binge watching the new series with. you used to be hers, in a way, even if that way wasnโt permanent. and now sheโs someone else and so are you and your friendship is clicking heart shapes next to pictures where she smiles next to people youโve never met. you know where her birthmark is. she knows where youโve buried your dead.
the poets and the singers and the authors write about romantic love when it ends. but nobody tells you how to get over a friend.
i swear it is physically impossible for me to read a mary oliver quote without immediately having to hold back tears. "you do not have to be good" and "someone i loved once gave me a box of darkness. it took me years to understand that this, too, was a gift" and "i don't want to end up having simply visited this world" and "to love what is mortal against your bones knowing your own life depends on it; and, when the time comes to let it go, to let it go" and "it is a serious thing / just to be alive / on this fresh morning / in this broken world" and oh fuck it's happening again
they should invent a version of this old story where no one has to leave first & a brooklyn that isnt too cold tonight & friends that arent three years away & an absence of someone else that doesnt feel liek the absence of yrslef & a grief u can put down if only for an isntant even if grief is just love with no place to go
Nemophila commonly called baby blue eyes. It reminds me of my friend.
Combs and hairpins for hair, Rene Lalique, late XIX - early XX centuries.
