Yo-
Long time no original post. I finally posted something on Archive of Our Own, so I decided that if I want to be a little more serious about it, I might as well commit. That being said-
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if i was a court jester i’d flirt with the king at any given opportunity. subtle at first but if he was interested and we’d share banter then i’d sit in his lap. then he would say i’m the funniest silliest little man alive and kiss me with tongue
how could he NOT fall in love with me though like i am literally there making him giggle, daily. a grown man covered in gold and he is just laughing at my stupid little jokes. i have that bastard wrapped around my finger. He knows it
having one of those executive function days where everything is too many steps
by which i mean, like, here's how my brain parses the steps in making coffee
good day:
regular day:
bad day:
anyway this is a "14 steps to make coffee" kind of day
This is actually a really good way of explaining this
when we had covid, "eat soup" was entirely too complicated. fortunately, a friend showed up with a quart of still-hot soup, and saved our lives.
romance is lame and overrated i love mentor/mentee relationships in fiction and especially when theyre sort of fucked up
greatest hits:
- You started out as a bet/challenge to see if I could successfully wrangle the infamous Problem Child but oh whoops I got attached!
- You are my kind, bright-eyed protegé who would never do so much as rip a tag off a mattress. anyway I am going to acquaint you with Criminal Activity
- I showed you genuine kindness and it was maybe the first time you’d ever experienced it and accidentally ended up becoming more of a parent to you than your “real” blood family ever was. Uh. Do you want to play catch in the park or
- I will gladly take any punishment meant for you. I would go to the ends of the earth to protect you, even if it meant I had to die in the process. I would do it a thousand times over, and I wouldn’t regret any of it.
- I taught you how to fight, and now through some circumstance or another, I’m forced to engage you in life-or-death combat without holding back.
- I put you through training from hell to make you the person you are today, for “your own good”, and now you’ve realized that you can hit back. And you can hit hard.
- I have made you into something greater than yourself - but you are changing from how I have designed you, and this is something I cannot allow.
- I taught you everything you know, and it was the greatest mistake I’ve ever made.
- I will make you just like me - by force, if necessary.
INTERESTING
In a roughly parallel universe, Demon Aziraphale tempts Angel Crowley to a little vacation, and they find their way to a bookshop in a familiar place inhabited by familiar faces. Crowley (both of them) would like to stop this nonsense before it can start, but Aziraphale's curiosity wins out, and they spend a day together that ends up being loaded with little revelations (but not, thankfully, any Revelations).
HEY DID YOU KNOW THAT @contritecactite WROTE A FIC ABOUT THE BAD OMENS SPOUSES MEETING THE GOOD OMENS SPOUSES THAT MADE ME EXPLODE A LOT LOT?! 🤍🖤💥
anyway, thanks again to elle for writing this and to koi for giving some painful name lore to these nerds because i genuinely can't express how GRAGHARGGH this made me! i swear i've been rereading it for like a billion times already bc it's just that good and charming!
i'm gonna put some bonus messy doodles of the fic and other things below the cut! :^] i'm also thinking about putting this up on my inprnt shop too but i'm not sure, tell me if you want it there or smth pftt
i always convince myself i dont sound that weird and then i go out in the world and get involved in anything longer than transactional small talk and its like ohhh thats right ive only been hanging out with gay people who speak in riddles
*blinking crusty eyes like a newborn animal* jul y ???
fuckihg SEPYEMBER?
Rules: in a new post, show the last line you wrote (or drew) and tag as many people as there are words (or as many as you feel like).
I was tagged by the absolutely lovely and hardworking @shootingstarpilot (go pay him so much love and read shoulder the sky, I weep every time, I swear to god). It’s my first time being tagged in anything so I’m a little weepy 🥹
I have two rather large Codywan AU projects warring for space in my head but one of them has me in a chokehold of writer’s block—I cannot seem to figure out how the fuck I want to start it. It hates me and wants to kill me.
So, enjoy this (late, I’m so sorry) snippet of my newest project, a Codywan-centric Modern AU with music teacher!Cody and ER doctor!Obi-Wan:
It occurs to me that there are people who weren’t on this website in 2012 and therefore never saw the magical gif that you can actually hear:
It’s been over five years and that still impresses the hell out of me.
wdym you can hear it?
Basically, it’s a form of synesthesia, movement-hearing. In this case, you expect to hear a thud, so you do. It’s estimated that 20% of people experience this type of synesthesia, as opposed to 2-4% for other kinds.
YO what the FUXK
The longer you watch it the more you get convinced that you can hear a distant thud and the air displace.
I heard the thud. I closed my eyes and the thud stopped. I opened my eyes and I heard the thud. My goodness but human brains are a mess.
This was easily the first ever viral post on Tumblr back in 2011/12. Perhaps even before the great “what your leg feels like after falling asleep” followed by a picture of a static teevee channel.
Sadly, there wasn't a costume contest. Commander Cody is sure he would have won with his entrance alone.
Just saw a high school production of Addams Family and while sure, it was good and all, I’m almost positive the school chose it because they have a 6’9 kid to played Lurch.
Appreciate the excellence of a closed curtain, a hushed audience awaiting the pre-show, and then a giant walks onstage, shows you a cellphone, wags his finger, and then smashes it with a hammer.
Should be standard practice
using tumblr age 14: i am going to end misogyny reblogging pastel art about choice feminism
using tumblr age 23: [in the tags of a poll] SPINACH SWEEP🔥🔥🍃💪🏼💯
In 0.5 seconds and without saying a single word, Michael Sheen changed lives.
This was the bitchiest bitch moment Aziraphale had in all 2 seasons. Thank you for your service, respectfully, I am deceased.
GIF credit: @wildsflag
the parallels between confession booths and bathroom stall gloryholes are not lost on the intellectual homosexuals
my mom loves to lie and like she always swears she was NEVER homophobic or anything to me as a child “i even have a gay work friend” but a really funny memory resurfaced recently where i asked if i could use birthday money i had to buy a rainbow flag when i was like ??? 7?? because i LOVED rainbows. and she said no that means something Evil and god will hate you . so what did i do. but ask my grandmom for a rainbow sweater for christmas and proceed to only wear that sweater for three years when it got cold because i didnt like the idea that god hated colors and i wanted to challenge him
normal 7 year old with religious trauma: oh no god can hear my thoughts and punish me
me: either you are wrong about god or god is wrong and i will fight him and i will be the one to find out
me at 7: he would not fucking say that
