Mara

i dont get offended at white people jokes even though im white because: 

my white friends that have reblogged this give me life

4. Sometimes I am a shitty white person and the jokes remind me to FUCKIN STOP

If ur white and like this post I fux with u

^absolutely

5. It’s hard to be offended when white people jokes involve bland food/tourist dads in socks and sandals/white girls in yoga pants obsessed with pumpkin spice/suburban PTA moms and other harmless and mostly true stereotypes while jokes about POC involve them being called thugs/criminals/slurs/uneducated/illegal immigrants.

i fucks with u heavy if ur white and you reblog this

6. They’re usually really fucking funny and don’t perpetuate stereotypes that will ever affect me economically, politically, or cause me any true harm, let alone create risks that “justify” my murder and/or death

Waits for my white mutuals to reblog😌

yesyesyesyes

White and reblogging without hesitation 💜

Im half white if it counts??

Idk *still smashes rb*

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again since no-one has yet given me a valid reason as to why James Potter, lacking a wand, didn’t just transform into Prongs when Voldy turned up and like… fucking spear him. Why didn’t he do that? Like I don’t care how astonishingly powerful a dark wizard he was, no-one could ever be prepared for walking into a house and there’s just… a massive fuck off stag staring you down? How could you possibly react to that? 

You couldn’t, giving said stag the opportunity to put an antler through his eye and save the day. Not to mention, can you imagine the Prophet headlines if that was how it’d gone down?

Valid reason coming your way….

You need a wand to assume your Animagus form.

You definitely don’t… Sirius did it in Azkaban.

Aha good point then yeah he should have impaled that motherfucker

He was unregistrated, right? I mean.. sure, he would have killed the dark lord, but still, it’s a crime. And then there’s the fact that the others were animagi too, which would lead to them being exposed and most certainly being accused of not getting themselves a registration. Their connections to Remus would be obvious, and I think he’d be exposed too. We all learned about the problems lycantrophy causes, and I don’t think James would have been stupid enough to risk that his best friend lost everything.

To be fair, you try telling the guy who FUCKING IMPALED Voldemort that he had to go to jail for being unregistered.

Also, it’s the ministry of magic. You could literally say that someone had created a stag by whatever means, and they’d buy it.

Another superlative point—"Where did the stag—yes, it was definitely a stag not a deer note that down please—where did it come from you ask? Oh, absolutely haven’t the foggiest Mister Minister Sir—it was just sort of there. Passing through I suppose.“

”…Passing through.“

“Yes.”

“Through your hallway.”

“Yes.”

“And stabbed Voldemort through the eye.”

“Through the eye, yes, and right through the brain: ghastly stuff, Minister, felt absolutely horrid.”

“It felt horrid?”

“I mean… I imagine so.”

“… right. And where did this deer go?”

“Oh, it vanished, Sir, quite spontaneously.”

“…uhuh. So the stag just wandered into your home, skewered a dark wizard, disapeared, and you saw neither where it came from nor where it went.”

“That’s about the size of it, yes.”

“… Yeah okay that sounds legit job done lads.”

Also you cannot tell me that James Potter gave two shits about whether or not it was illegal

parenting.gif

Gay Denial (2009) 

Pencil on Paper

March 6th, 2009

Dear Journal,

I found out what lesbian means today, Ella told me at recess. It’s unfair because girls are so much prettier than guys. It’s like comparing a flower to an old shoe. But I’m not a lesbian, almost 99% of my friends are guys.

Shakespeare could only aspire to this level of dramatic irony.

Leonardo DiCaprio

ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ

THIS IS RHE FUNNIEST SOUND THING IVE EVER HEARD ON THIS SITE IT MAJES ME LAUGH SO MUCH I LOVE IT IM SO HAPPY

Someone: How was your day

Me: ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ

90% of my day is me being nervous

i hate how reward systems never work for me like i can’t just say “if i finish this assignment i can have a cookie” bc my brain is like “…..or u could just have one right now” and i can’t argue with that logic

Self-imposed deadlines don’t work either because I know the guy who set them and he’s full of shit