knife crow is a dad now omg

Technically true.

He got the job.

He takes his job seriously.

Stone Butch Blues, Leslie Feinberg

[image description: a screenshot of text.

“We lay without speaking for a long, long time. I finally broke the silence with a question. ‘Do you think I’m a woman?’

Edna got up on one elbow and looked at me. ‘What do you think?’ she asked gently.

I sighed. ‘I don’t know. There’s never been many other women in the world I could identify with. But I sure as hell don’t feel like a guy, either. I don’t know what I am. It makes me feel crazy.’

Edna nestled against my shoulder. ‘I know, honey, I really do. I don’t think I’ve ever had a butch lover who hasn’t felt torn up in the same way.

I sighed. ‘I don’t like being neither.’

Edna moved her face close to mine. ‘You’re more than just neither, honey. There’s other ways to be than either-or. It’s not so simple. Otherwise there wouldn’t be so many people who don’t fit. You’re beautiful, Jess, but I don’t have words to help people see that.’”]

The box turtle at one of the nature centers I work at won't eat her food unless you plate it like you're a chef at a Michelin restaurant.

I can tell someone fed her yesterday when I wasn't in but they didn't plate it artistically so she didn't eat it

I'm glad she has you OP

idk if someone has already done this but I needed it

This kofi was so up my ally I love her 💖💖💖💖

new wings.

> my art tag

Rescued baby seal’s first swim lesson

(via)

Butch.

"SD Holman self-identifies as “butch,” a label that they and others in their community have reclaimed. Their inspiring story has challenged traditional definitions of masculinity and femininity in surprising ways."

4 flavor of cheese

tje original pic of this was of him holding a bleach bottle and i said hmm. thats not safe for ducky to drink so i put a nice tastey baja balst instead

this is really good I love Donal Duck and I love baja blast so basically great post

lahore pigeons are some of the most visually appealing birds out there. like in terms of visual design. very minimalist, good contrast.

Too bad Lahore pigeons are a domestic breed and don’t appear in the wild at all. Some equally balanced wild colorations include

Pygmy Falcon

Great Hornbill

Wallcreeper

and

Black-throated Loon

this is a good addition to this post. thank you for this birds educations

I would like to submit the following additions to the world of exceptional bird color design:

Cedar Waxwing

Red Crowned Crane

Brahminy Kite

Green Tree Swallow (I mean seriously - those are metallic teal feathers against stark white. Damn.) 

Bali Mynah

And, last but certainly not least, the cutest fucking puffball on this planet earth:

The Korean Crow-Tit

I’d also like to contribute some pretty awesome birds

Hooded Pitta (or as like to call them little olives)

Coua

Mot-Mot

The Blue Crown Pigeon (the biggest pigeon)

good post

@ilovegirlsalways

@candiceirae

I’m fond of the Golden Breasted Starling,

the Golden Pheasant,

and the Oriental Dwarf Kingfisher.

@izzyovercoffee

May I present the most fabulous turkey in the world, the Ocellated Turkey?

@poisonedapples

They’re all immensely pretty

@todaysbird

miss them 

So I wanted to know what kind of crystal could go in a wizard staff, right? so I googled “big crystal,” as one does, and got an Etsy ad for This

And as you all know I Am currently taking a geology class, so I am probably more emotionally invested in minerals than usual. But that is...very obviously not a natural crystal.

So I did some looking around on Etsy.

Now, these shops all seem to advertise to the “witchy”/“spiritual healing” type of person. And there are a lot of them. Crystals are a Big Thing on Etsy. And ALMOST ALL of them are obviously artificially cut into the same sort of prism with a triangular pyramid top, regardless of the actual sort of crystal it is supposed to be.

Even like, fucking, obsidian. Obsidian is volcanic glass, it doesn’t form crystals at all, it is not a crystal

I’m not throwing any shade at people who are into crystals for like witchy reasons, but it really seems like if crystals are spiritually important to you, you should know what a crystal is...right...?

So there I am. Caught in the helpless anger and distaste of looking at geologically inaccurate Etsy crystals.

And as I scroll, I start to see items in...interesting shapes:

“Oh,” I think to myself. “Oh no.”

But it is too late. I have heard the siren’s song, singing to me of knowledge that will destroy me, but that I cannot help but seek.

These...elongated objects are almost always ambiguously described as “massage wands,” “crystal healing wands,” and other such innocuous things. The egg-shaped objects are, um, “yoni eggs.”

...Right. Okay.

Maintain the youthfulness of my sacred organ.

IT’S A SEX TOY. SAY IT. BITCH, IT’S A SEX TOY, IT’S OKAY, SERIOUSLY, THERE’S NO SHAME IN IT, SAY IT WITH PRIDE, SAY IT WITH YOUR CHEST,

OKAY.

Okay. I’m good. I’m fine.

Actually, you know what, never mind. There is shame in this and I want it to be never acknowledged again.

Additionally, I am not fine.

Why the fuck are there so many of these—

At this point I stop and start googling.

Now, Selenite is the crystalline form of gypsum. It is also known as satin spar. Selenite is brittle and breaks easily, and has a Mohs hardness scale of 2.

For those unfamiliar with the Mohs hardness scale, a mineral with a hardness of 2 is soft enough that it can be easily scratched with a fingernail. It also is dissolved by moisture.

NO. DON’T PUT THAT IN YOUR BODY???? DON’T PUT THE GYPSUM, WHICH HAS A MOHS HARDNESS SCALE OF 2, IS BRITTLE AND BREAKS EASILY, AND IS WATER SOLUBLE, INSIDE YOUR LITERAL ACTUAL VAGINA??????????

I try to reassure myself with the fact that these things are probably not actually selenite, because making a dildo out of such a soft mineral in the first place would be very difficult. Having seen fluorite before, I feel pretty certain that the fluorite yoni eggs are probably actually just glass.

I google fluorite.

Okay.

Further exploring online shows me that fluorite is soluble in various strong acids.

Some guys on a forum in 2004 have strong contradictory opinions on this.

(I google the pH of the vagina.)

I don’t understand how pH works. I give up on the solubility question and google the toxicity of fluorite:

I now know at least one orifice fluorite does not go inside.

Science.

No, dear followers, my journey did not end here.

I have opened Pandora’s box, except Pandora’s box is filled with minerals God did not intend to be anywhere near the vagina carved into the shape of dildos. Etsy is advertising me sex toys I wish I could forget.

And vaginal steam herbs.

It seems that there is potentially a correlation between wanting to steam your vagina and wanting to put rocks in it. I know, groundbreaking discovery.

Okay, so we’re talking therapy substitute therapy substitute.

(I begin to think about how desperately we need universal health care. Maybe I just need someone, something, to blame.)

At this point, I realize that I haven’t done any googling on whether dildos made of rocks are a good idea at all. So, very tentatively, as if typing it more slowly will make it any less observed by the FBI, I google whether quartz should be used...internally.

First result that pops up:

That’s, uh. That’s reassuring.

I decide I’m incapable of unpacking this particular suitcase.

There are, of course, a small handful of articles debating the safety of rose quartz sex toys. But I’m getting the feeling that this is not a normal question to have in the first place. I close the tab with little relief.

Etsy is still enthusiastically recommending me things that hurt me psychologically.

...pleasure chalk?

How can I describe the fear that this image struck in me, reader?

Pleasure Chalk? What could that be?

Is knowing worse, or is not knowing? I scarcely have a choice:

I check in with my emotions.

Is this relief? Am I relieved that they are eating the dirt instead of fucking it? One review complains about the taste. I don’t know what they expected.

I try in vain to struggle against the tide, to return to the relatively normal side of Etsy. I begin to resent, no, hate, these deceptively aesthetically pleasing hippie shops eagerly spreading medical misinformation and things as yet unknown.

This, unlike the other “crystals” I have shown, appears to show naturally grown crystals. They are, of course, quartz crystals, and $45 comes off as extremely overpriced. I have a quartz crystal I got for a dollar at an Eastern Kentucky rock festival, about the size and quality of the ones in the photo.

Quartz is the most common mineral in the Earth’s crust. But at least this is regular levels of annoying.

Then I see this:

Well, I see the photo and the price, and I think, that looks like a regular quartz crystal. There’s no way a regular quartz crystal is $1,347.

I read the description:

I am crying. I don’t want to google any of this. I am beyond googling. I no longer desire knowledge.

THATS A QUARTZ CRYSTAL. MOTHERFUCKER THAT’S QUARTZ. SIO2, MOST COMMON MINERAL IN THE EARTH’S CRUST. ITS FUCKING QUARTZ IM—

I click on a malachite.

The malachite promises to protect me from emails. And at this, darkest hour, I want to be protected.

I have been broken. I have been lured to my demise.

Big Brother: loved.

Geology lab I’m supposed to be doing: incomplete.

God: unmerciful.

in regards to the edible clay, iirc I think that'w actually a thing? saw a video about it at some point but it was long enough ago that I can't remember very well. something about the mineral content or something being used in some places to act as a supplement, obviously etsy is kinda sus for sourcing it but the concept i'm pretty sure is like a thing that some cultures do

It is a thing. There’s an article briefly summarizing the reasons people eat dirt here; I also think I remember reading, at some point, that about a quarter of adults have reported doing so at some point or other.

The basic concept makes sense, I guess. Dirt has minerals in it, and when you have a dangerous deficiency and can’t get supplements in little pills, you’ve gotta do something, and sometimes the “something” your body comes up with is “crave dirt.”

The big problem with buying “edible clay” on Etsy is that this stuff is totally unregulated. (Most ‘alternative medicine’ is.) At the very least, you may or may not adequately address the dangerous nutritional deficiency you could likely have by eating random clay from Etsy. In a world where we do have supplements in little pills, there is no reason to just eat clay and hope it works. There’s no way of verifying what mineral content the clay has.

There’s also the fact that you could poison yourself with contaminants, since, again, this stuff is unregulated. I googled byproducts of kaolinite mining and quickly found results suggesting that it can absorb hazardous metals during the mining process and also that kaolinite deposits in Nigeria are also rich in radioactive thorium. In general, though, mining stuff out of the ground results in a lot of hazardous waste material.

Of course, the kaolinite pictured in the screenshot may indeed not be industrially mined kaolinite and may in fact instead be dried-up clay purchased at Hobby Lobby.

My search history is really something right now.

me trapped on this ride:

My little brother loves Gravity Falls. As a gift, I bought him a little pocket journal and filled it with notes in invisible ink

[ID, an open journal with handwritten text in invisable ink illuminated to read:

They’re going to tell you that babies come from people.

This is a lie. We grew you in a lab dad built in the crawlspace back in the old house.

You have hornet DNA.

End ID.]