Everything In the World is Embarrassing but Only when I do it
i’m just like sisyphus except instead of rolling a boulder uphill i have to wash my hair
Thanks for hanging out with me! Was I cool? did you like me? What do you think of me in detail? Do you hate me?
I would literally be unstoppable if I didn’t have that persistent pit in my stomach that everyone in a room is just a little bit annoyed by my presence
having a job is like They're trying to close you off from the cosmos
oh okay. heart steps right out of my chest and falls down the stairs
i really do love “they put their whole pussy into this” because that really is the only way to describe things sometimes. there really are things out there that are so good it is clear that they were putting their whole pussy into it during the creation process. like art. and strawberry lemonade. many such cases
If Jurassic Park was real the DefunctLand video on it would open with "66 Million Years ago, an asteroid the size of Mount Everest slammed into the Gulf of Mexico,"
sitting anti-kink posters down in front of a wrestling match and explaining kayfabe to them with the patience of a preschool teacher
You see that one? He's called the "heel." He looks mean and says a lot of scary things, but it's not real and he's actually very nice. When he says "I'm going to break you in half" you don't have to be scared because it's pretend. These two talked about this beforehand, and now they're playing pretend together. Can you think of any other situations that might be like this?
no that part was real
you guys gotta get into follies for real. this musicals got everything. milfs. pastiche of follies music and dance. a one word title with two meanings. dilfs. warning against buying into the artifice of theatre. a woman hopelessly stuck in the past. miserable marriages. an extremely hot angry bitter politicians wife. tap dancing. bad european accents. a haunted old theatre full of ghosts. milfs.
like there comes a point where you think something is fundamentally wrong with you. and then it turns out it’s just Friday and you haven’t washed your hair in three days and maybe you’re also just a little lonely and the combination of all three of those things is whittling a hole into your chest every time you breathe. but also the sun’s up. and you’ve survived everything so far, so you’ll survive this too, even if it hurts, even if you have to survive it many times.
my girl so morally ambiguous idk if i should call her good girl or bad girl in bed
having ethically debatable sex with my morally ambiguous wife
why am i always cold unless im hauling ass somewhere and then im sweating in like 2 minutes flat. get good body
Early morning are so beautiful it's so mean that they put them in the early morning