Amazing.

“Ahh, Perry the Platypus! Behold: the INFINITY GAUNTLET!…. Inator. With one snap of my fingers as I collect the sixth stone, I will have infinite power, enough to…. create more resources for the entire planet! They will WORSHIP me as a hero, and I will take over the ENTIRE TRI STATE AREA!” “What? Kill half of all people? What kind of crazy person would do that?”

“You see, Perry the Platypus, when I was growing up, my parents only let me eat half of all my meals.”

@katie-wants-donut

“I’m sorry, your majesty,” Donald Duck said, looking at the elegant swirling of the throne room’s the cornices, the jewel-bright tiles beneath his flippers. Anywhere but into the king’s cold eyes. “You must know the pope won’t grant you the divorce you seek.”

Finally, unwillingly, he did look up to see King Mickey’s face contorted with a terrible fury. “Then I shall found my own Church,” the king said. “And grant my own divorce.”

“What of your compassion?” Donald’s voice cracked and it was a moment before he could go on. “It is not meet that you abandon your wife when she most needs you. If she truly is insane - ”

“It is my compassion that keeps me from ordering her beheaded,” the king said bitterly. “I fear that you have misunderstood me, my old friend. I did not say she was insane.” 

Rising from his throne, King Mickey paced across the throne room to stare out at the peaceful green grounds of Disney Castle. He was not seeing them, Donald was sure, but some other, darker vista, conjured by his imagination.

“I said, ‘the queen is fucking Goofy’.”

memeception

WE’VE HIT TERMINAL MEME

@caesarianconfection

I’ve said “I hate this” so many times on this website, and never actually meant it, because “I hate this” is just shorthand for ‘this is an example of a meme given a twist I wasn’t expecting with intent to surprise’. Which is, in of itself, a meme on this site. God damn it.

But this… This is something else.

The rapidity of a meme’s introduction to its zenith to its decline is so rapid that in ten years, you’ll need a damn twenty-page manual to explain this. It’ll be as unfunny and hard to explain as jokes in Shakespeare plays, except even more inexplicable because fuck, at least Shakespeare’s jokes are usually about anal or fucking your mother, good wholesome sex jokes we can all get behind.

For the love of fuck, how do you explain loss.jpg? How do you explain gun?

….I THOUGHT THIS WAS A YMCA REFERENCE

it is a YMCA reference - that’s one of the 6 memes being represented here

ok let me see if i can break this down easily. YMCA is the easiest place to start - the song itself has become a meme over time with people changing the lyrics to reference other pop cultural events. so YMCA is meme one (1)

this first lyric replacement (”take the breadsticks and run”) is a reference to the tumblr meme ‘stuffing breadsticks into my purse’. i think everyone remembers that one so i wont bother to explain it. that’s meme two (2)

“man door hand hook car door” is a meme of its own, a creepypasta from i dont remember when. it was a terrible stupid retelling of the generic ‘stuck in a car while hook handed man tries to kill us’ story so the stupid title caught on for memorability. that in and of itself is meme three (3)

‘gun’ is… yeah i dont know how to explain gun. long story short you add gun to the end of a phrase instead of what you expect the last word to be. its shock funny. its everywhere but its popular to add to “man door hand hook car door” for.. some reason? gun is meme four (4)

and the thing is, this four meme combo is something thats gone around before. meme combos are, itself, a meme. which means taking this meme combo and mixing in another meme actually becomes meme five (5)

which leaves us at loss.jpg. loss.jpg was a terrible bad comic supposed to be about some tragic event, but it was presented so poorly literally no one takes it seriously, and for some reason recreating the four-panel setup has become popular. so thats meme six (6)

(but i need to add that this is the greatest version of loss.jpg i think i’ve ever seen. the initial ‘young man’ lines up with the guy bursting through the door, and the shock meme ‘gun’ matches the shock scene of the woman in the hospital and idk if OP even thought about that but it makes this just so much better)

I wasn’t going to reblog this, but @pagesofkenna‘s comprehensive meme-by-meme annotation is a thing of beauty and should be shared.

average tumblr post contains one meme, this post, which contains six, is an outlier and should not be counted

it might also just be a coincidence due to loss.jpg’s format but the whole white minimalist four-panel setup is also suspiciously reminiscent of those early 2000’s rage comics

I was getting a political compass vibe too

tag urself im man door hand hook car gun

This works better than I thought it would.

This was in my senior project

I’m not sorry.

EIGHT MEME COMBO

FATALITY

We have officially created a new language 

I just had to do it to em

THIS FUCKING THREAD I’M GONNA CRY

I LOST IT AND MAN DOOR HAND HOOK CAR GUN AND DIDN’T EXPECT MORE I’M SOBBING

M E M E T E N

OwO?

@guardianofscrewingup

@severusly @jealousmaude @accidentallyanodyne

the ending omg

W H A T

@dest-chase @greyskycloud

I was about to make a joke that this is the tutorial level in every platformer game but THE ENDING GOT ME

@afewmishaps

the official pokemon twitter posted this and it’s beautiful (x)

PIKACHU’S LITTLE SQUEAL

Parallels

“Not in Andy’s Room, you don’t.”

“You’re on the wrong side of history, Donald.”

Donald is a homophobe!! :O

DONALD NO!!!! ;-;

human: 

THEORETICALLY MAXIMUM FAST

the universe:

How will the people in the ship not get gibbed?

Because the warp drive doesn’t actually accelerate the ship, it just makes the space in front of it smaller and the space behind it larger. Or something.

it works like this

A WRINKLE IN TIME IS COMING TRUE 

We gonna be surfing gravity waves!!

COWABUNGA SPACE DUDES!

I love how mankind’s solution to ftl is just to bend to rules of reality a little.

Universe: ok human, with the physical laws as they are you can’t go faster than the speed of light.

Humanity: ok, let me just figure out how to manipulate space time so I can go FASTER!

That’s literally how the ship in Futurama works lol the professor says the ship doesn’t move at all, it moves all of space around it. Can’t believe Futurama was right

fun fact: there’s a real life math theorem (futurama theorem) created by one of the writers for the sole purpose of solving a plot in an episode

Youtube link: appreciate the artists

The mashup you never thought would work

Congratu-fucking-lations.

I would pay so much to have this as a ringtone I’m not even joking.

Why?????

The face I made while listening to this was so visceral I had to draw it before reblogging it

@sillygooseface TORI I’M CRYING PLEASE LISTEN

Well. That was indeed a thing that happened.

@lindsayetumbls @elisaintime @nellachronism

(Would’ve been better with a different version of POTO but it’s irrevocably stuck in my head so…eh.)

Holy shit.

WEAK

@korino21

Are you fucking kidding me

wow i’m so mad

The Anaconda of the Opera

a) this song is dope as hell

b) open permalink in a new tab to the poster page Hit Ctrl + Shift +I or right-click anywhere on the page and hit “Inspect” Once in that menu, go to “Network” Without touching anything else, play the song in the mp3 player the file will show up in network Right-click the file to “Open in a New Tab” Either right-click and Save As, or hit the download button

Grats,  you can now rip songs off the default tumblr music player :3

@esidisi

I like what it’s named

That’s on the end of every audio url hosted on tumblr.

sora: we gotta find roxas

goofy: yea hyuck

donald:

sora: you’re right, donald

The events of Kingdom Hearts III imply that Remy Rataouille didnt control Linguini because he was compatible with him or anything, but rather Remy has the inherent power to completely control people just by pulling on their hair, meaning that if Thanos wasn’t bald, then Remy would be the most powerful creature in the Disney extended universe, in this essay I

I want to make it entirely clear that this is the worst tag that this post will ever be able to have

Ambisextrous is a much better word for bisexual.

WHY DOES THIS FIT SO WELL LIKE THEIR MOUTHS ARE SYNCING WITH THE SONG PERFECTLY AND THIS HASN’T EVEN BEEN EDITED THE FUCK

It!

dumb

If i ever space out just know that this is what’s on my mind

The further they get the more I trust him

The Japanese translation of the novel 1984 is probably much less intimidating given that Big Brother is likely translated as “Onii-Chan”

Okay, you need to make sure you play this game at some point. Maybe not today or anything, because you’ll need about thirty minutes and a serious willingness to understand how it works, but - it’s so worth it. It’s basically an answer to our occasional frustration - why do assholes always come out on top? - and the beautiful thing about it is that not only does it explain how that happens, but also how we can change it.

“In the short run, the game defines the players. But in the long run, it’s us players who define the game.”

This is fascinating if you’re into math or sociology or computer programming or all of the above.

Everyone, everywhere, without exception, should play this thing through.

Don’t check just this - check out all of Nicky Case’s work. They’re a brilliant creator and I heavily recommend checking out at least one of their projects.  Their website can be found here.

Parable of the Polygons - an interactive experiment that shows how tiny individual biases can collectively cause segregation on a massive scale.

To Build a Better Ballot - an interactive experiment that shows the alternatives to the voting systems we currently use and how they can be more representative and democratic, along with their faults.

Coming Out Simulator - a short interactive story/novel about coming out, based off of Case’s own experiences. Not one I’ve played myself but still one I can recommend.

Loopy - a very simple but useful tool to show how systems interact with each other and how things can self-propagate.

We Become What We Behold - “ a game about news cycles, vicious cycles, infinite cycles.“ A short five-minute game about news and media. Warnings for violence, blood, death and stress.

420+420+420+69+69+69+69+69+69+69+69+69+69+69=2019. This is our year

Dungeons and Dragons, but your character must be a self insert, and class is determined by your current abilities Barbarian Must have a demonstrable temper, go off I guess  Bard Must be able to play an instrument Cleric Must be involved in a religious organization Druid Must have demonstrable knowledge of, or passion for nature  Fighter Must beat the DM in physical combat (hope your DM’s a wimp)  Monk Must practice a martial art  Paladin Must have a cause that one actively supports  Ranger Must be able to fire a kind of ranged weapon accurately  Rogue Must sneak up on the DM (Hard mode: steal their dice)  Sorcerer Must have a powerful family heirloom  Warlock Must work for a powerful entity (Corporations, The Government)  Wizard Must have a College Degree or a 3.0 GPA  If you can’t be any of these you start as a commoner, and may become one of these classes when you finally satisfy these conditions.

Omfg

You do realize that by that metric, almost all players will be Warlocks (I mean, I work for a corporation…. That is a cashier at a grocery store. I’ve also worked as same for Mc Donalds) XD