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even a worm will squirm

@downriversandroads / downriversandroads.tumblr.com

Chuck, Leverage!!!!!, & a rotation of hyperfixations // Christian, queer ace, and aggressively Midwestern
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adhd is so embarrassing ur basically like “I have to have fun right the fuck now or I’m throwing myself off the roof” 90% of the time and you also have very little control over this

This was the single most important thing for me to start understanding re: my undiagnosed ADHD, and it's the thing no one tells you except other ADHD sufferers. My brain's reward system is so broken that boredom rapidly becomes indistinguishable from a depressive episode. There's no healthy, normal ability to experience something as simply being a little dull--as soon as my brain isn't getting regular hits of stimulation, I start clawing at the walls. This is what makes working in a structured environment and initiating tasks so difficult for me, not malice or other character flaws.

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enoughtohold

on a sincere note though, you guys do know that 22 is not old and 30 is not ancient, right? like yeah by 30 you will hopefully have matured but hearing some of you talk like life ends at 30 is a little worrying. one day, not as far away as it may seem, you will be 30 and you will still be a person with value, you will probably still have a lot of the same interests, you will still use the internet, and you will still be you. you have your whole life ahead of you

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also while i’m ranting about gender i always see debate about whether girls are rewarded for being tomboys or not and it’s like. actually girls are rewarded for mirroring whatever the situation demands of them. girls can’t be too prissy and refuse to play in the creek, but girls also can’t show up to girly events covered in mud. girls can’t have makeup art as a hobby or else they’re superficial, but if they never wear makeup they’re a slob and dumpy, etc. it’s not that girls are universally rewarded or punished for being tomboys, they’re rewarded for bending over backwards to always be exactly right for any given situation and punished for breaking those boundaries. so yes a classically pretty girl who cleans up nice is rewarded when she can ALSO be a tomboy. but a girl who is a tomboy all the time is definitely punished for never being able to achieve that prerequisite feminine side. this debate is over now thanks

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When we were children, my sister had private music lessons at her violin teacher’s house. I only visited there once, but I still remember that afternoon. The teacher had an artificial pond in her yard, a large beautiful thing with lily pads and plant life. And in the pond, there were goldfish. I had never seen such enormous goldfish. 

I spent several minutes just staring at them (and trying to convince them to bite my fingers.) When my sister’s violin lesson ended, her teacher came out to the yard and explained that these goldfish were the same small creatures that were often unfortunately sold in plastic bags at state fairs. They were only about two inches long apiece, when she bought them and put them in the new, empty pond. In essence, they were like every goldfish I had seen before, but they had been given a much larger, much richer environment in which to flourish. As a result, they had grown into some of the most remarkable, vibrant creatures my twelve-year-old self had ever met with. All because of a pond. 

Funny what lessons children remember. My sister doesn’t play the violin anymore, but that was the first time I caught a glimpse of the overwhelming extent to which it matters, the way the world treats us.

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yellowhat-co

Reblogged again for this drawing I made for it

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221b-hound

Give us room to grow and see how we flourish.

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julibernardo

The fact that Warsaw Pride this year welcomed Kyiv Pride with open arms and decided to shift the focus of the event to remind everyone about russian war in Ukraine warms my cold dead heart.

We don't deserve you, Poland ❤️

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“Many people seem to think it is foolish, even superstitious, to believe the world could still change for the better. And it is true that in winter is still sometimes so bitingly cold that one is tempted to say ‘What do I care if there is a summer, its warmth is no help to me now’. Yes, evil often seems to surpass good. But then, in spite of us, and without our permission, there comes at last an end to the bitter frosts. One morning the wind turns, and there is a thaw. And so I must still have hope.”

— Vincent Van Gogh