Men who say women aren’t funny think that making jokes about women not being funny is funny, which is the least funny meta comedy there is
Hey you know lads.. when you’re just laddin’ out bein lads and some lad is all like “LAAAAAD” and you’re like “laaaaad”. Classic.
This is probably the best ukulele playing I’ve ever seen.
an-octoplus
or heard
Anonymous asked:
What do people who don't swallow do?? Like do they just hold up their finger to tell their partner to wait while they go to spit it out like their aren't being a total cunt muffin the entire time or??? This question has been plaguing me for weeks...
this ask is actually horrific lol… girls aren’t obliged or become “cunt muffins” for not wanting to ingest your snotty penis milk
my dad just yelled “I FUCKIN LOVE YOUTUBE”
baconfan1
I literally am your dad. I see you’ve been posting vulgar language on your blog? youre grounded go to your room and think ab your actions
meladoodle
nice try, baconfan1, but my dad is a vegetarian
friend: i'm here for you if you ever need me!
me: *needs friend*
me: i probably shouldn't bother them
Some of my favorite moments from my time recently at Disney world.
when niggas randomly pull up their pants, that means one of three four things are about to go down
1. he’s about to rock somebody’s shit
2. he’s about to haul ass to an unknown location
3. he’s about to start dancing his ass off
pussy-and-pizzza
This fucking knowledge right here
martyblacc
How could yall forget the squat pose for a picture..
grapejellyking
4. he’s about to demonstrate how official his squat game is
halogenuine-deactivated20150201
look it’s fine if ur not religious omg it’s 100% ok but once u start telling people that their prayers are worthless, that God isn’t listening, that He is imaginary, that Jesus didn’t exist, that their religious texts are garbage, etc. then you’re a piece of shit shut up
in all my years that i have been on this earth i have not played spin the bottle once. does this mean that i’ve never actually lived? do a lot of people actually even play spin the bottle? or is its importance and prevalence stretched and exaggerated in media? these are the questions of the hour
Are teen parties with alcohol and red solo cups even real?!!?!
Has anyone ever participated in a food fight?!?
Blueberries piss me the fuck off
They’re BLUE.
but mashed, they’re PURPLE??
AND WHEN SKINNED, WE SEE THE INSIDES ARE GREEN?????
WHAT THE EVERLIVING FUCK, BLUEBERRIES?!
theangelictennant
okay I keep seeing this and I felt the need to point out that humans are in fact any shade of brown/tan on the outside, if you mash them they are red, and if you skin them they are pink. no I will not be including photos.
megnesiums
ok hannibal
me: all our teeth fall out as children and then they all grow back stronger
alien: okay, i mean…that definitely sounds fake, but….okay.
There's nothing wrong with sex, people.
- Having sex every day. - Saving sex for your wedding night. - Never having sex. - Having sex with different people. - Having sex with one person. - Having sex with a person of your same gender. - Loving sex. - Hating sex. - Being loud. - Being quiet.
The only thing wrong with sex?
When it’s not consensual.
Because that’s not sex. That’s rape.
claireruns
Reblogging again because this post is so important.
This