My husband aaaah—😫😫😫 ❤️
Underfell by Fella/Vic
netflix is CRAZY if they think i’m about to pay for my own account when i can just p*rate all their shit 😭
Lol Netflix made themselves a scam 😂
Savage farmer
Just to put this in perspective, the school was making high school students pay the equivalent of $40/month for parking.
i like the typography on this sign, it's like an old internet rant page
"you're not man enough, not feminine enough"
so gender is something we can fail?
that means gender is not genetic and absolute and unchangeable
but something we can build and perform, and fail at (the standards they set) but also redefine?
if i can fail at being a woman, does that mean i'm not a woman? so does that make me another gender?
i agonized for 15 minutes about the wording of my post and you manage to simplify it with a perfect mean girls reference
if u take zoloft and/or spironolactone be careful in the hot months u will dehydrate and be prone to overheating. drink. Water
Like the bottom text next to the asterisk says, there are more medications that cause this problem than listed. Please search for any medications you take if they cause heat problems <3
Note: Brintellix -> Trintellix for those who didn’t know this brand changed trademark names.
Goku is on Namek fightin that Frieza guy…Goku uhh…flyin or doin somethin over there…
for context’s sake: this is from JBVO, a show hosted by Johnny Bravo where you could call in and request your favorite episode of a CN show and Johnny would play it for you. for the most part it worked out pretty smoothly since at the time cn’s shows mostly had an average episode length of 7 to 11 minutes.
but one day a viewer requested that they play their favorite episode of dragon ball z, a show with 23-minute long episodes. due to time constraints with both dbz AND jbvo they had to work a compromise: a sped up version of the requested dbz episode played with johnny narrating over it so people understood what’s going on
1000 years ago, a great king had his soul infused with the crown so he may rule eternity, taking possession of anyone who wears it. But with each new ‘successor,’ the king took his extra lives increasingly for granted, until one day…..
The crown hit the floor of the blacksmith’s forge, the heavy ringing sound of gold on packed earth echoing long after it should have faded away.
“Melt it down.”
The blacksmith choked, glad that she’d put down the horseshoe she’d been working on. “What?”
“Melt it down,” the Heir repeated patiently.
The blacksmith glanced at the Heir, then to the discarded Crown of Helgrath lying on her floor, then back at the Heir. “Why?” she asked plaintively.
“That thing ate my mother,” the Heir said grimly. “My mother died thirty-nine years ago, when she first put it on, and something else stepped into her place. It’s soaked in blood magic.”
“Magic is forbidden in this kingdom,” the blacksmith said automatically.
“Probably because any halfway competent mage would take one look at that thing and know what it was.” The Heir grinned. “Probably the one thing old Helgrath never thought about; that a royal scion would learn about magic outside the Kingdom.”
“When you stayed at other courts, on your search for a spouse,” the Blacksmith said, horrified. “That’s - that’s heresy.”
“Not for much longer, if I have anything to say about it,” the Heir said, mouth forming a thin line. “Look, it’s five pounds of gold, it’s stupidly, neck-breakingly heavy, and it could be much better used to fund a clean water supply than it would on my head. Especially since I have no intention of being possessed by some greedy bastard who likes to murder his descendants so that he can hold on to power.”
“And fire will destroy the evil magic?” the blacksmith asked.
“Should do, fire destroys most magic. If not, we’ll figure something else out.”
The blacksmith nodded. “You had me at ‘clean water supply’.” Wrapping her hands in her leather apron so that she wouldn’t come in contact with the cursed crown, she lifted it into a metal bucket and swung it onto a hook over her forge fire.
The screaming coming from the bucket was a little disturbing, but it did prove the Heir’s claims.
Many young wizards have taken to transmuting swans into humans and marrying them. One day, you are lucky enough to find a swan in the wild, and without hesitating, you turn it into a beautiful lady. Unfortunately, that ‘swan’, was a goose. You have just given a goose a human form.
After I explained the mistake, she laughed uproariously.
“You’re damn lucky I’m not a swan!” she said, wiping tears from her eyes. “They get by on their reputation for being pretty and graceful, but buddy, a swan ain’t nothing but a bigger, meaner goose. What do you all want swan wives for anyway?”
I opened my mouth and then shut it again. Honestly, I hadn’t actually stopped to think about that much. It had become a mark of status, having a demure, graceful woman following on your arm, always dressed in white and gazing soulfully about.
“They all seem very nice,” I said finally.
She pursed her lips thoughtfully as she finished pulling on the robes I’d brought with me. “Then there’s something else going on,” she said. “I’ve met my share of swans and not a one of them would put up with that shit. Are you sure they were swans to begin with?”
“Well, no, now that you mention it. I mean, everyone says that’s what they are, but I’ve never actually seen anyone else do it.”
“Do they talk? Act like humans? Do they seem intelligent?”
“Well, they are humans, so I suppose they must be, right?” This conversation was not going the way I had expected it to.
“Hah! Fat chance. Transmutation is just changing the shape of a thing. You turn a swan into a human and all you’ve done is put a swan mind in a human-shaped box. Wouldn’t do a wizard much good to be able to turn into a wolf or whatever if they suddenly only had a wolf’s brain to work with, would it?”
“So, you’re saying that if those women were swans originally, they’d still act like swans?”
“Hoo boy yeah,” she said. “Absolutely. Hissing, biting people, trying to build nests, shitting everywhere. The works.”
“Wait, but what about you?” I asked, desperately trying to get the conversation back on track. “You seem like a human, but you were a goose ten minutes ago.”
She grinned wickedly at me.
“I was shaped like a goose ten minutes ago,” she said. “And I appreciate the makeover. But I wasn’t a goose to begin with. Now come on. There’s something hella creepy going on around here, and we’re gonna figure out what.”
She started walking back up the path towards town.
“Wait!” I shouted, hurrying after her, “If you weren’t a goose, then what are you? And what’s your name?”
“You can call me Gwydd,” she said. “And as for what I am, it’s a long story. I’ll tell you some day. But first, you’re going to tell me everything you know about these swan ladies.”
i’m taking the words “fetish” and “kink” away from the internet until you people learn what sexual attraction is
objectification too like it's called "objectification" because the subject of someone's sexual desire is being treated as an object with no desires of their own. there's nothing wrong with thinking a person is sexy as long as you don't forget they're a person. holy shit people
"sexualization and objectification are the same thing” comes straight from “sex is an intrinsically degrading act” and frankly I’m not into that vibe in the slightest
this was a joke my boyfriend made, then laughed at for several minutes
I fear a fresh wave of the plague
Update from twitter
i want to explain to people- the lower bit is accurate you probably pay way more in taxes/rent then a medieval peasants well as have less time off of work
I love typos more than probably any living human does
Not a day goes by I don't think "almost time for me to cock out"
picture me in the fall of 2020 wracked with sobbing laughter in absolute tears at my desk because my middle aged coworkers are creating the most magical sentences of my entire life and nobody but me notices
one of my girlfriends only tells the truth. my other girlfriend only tells lies.
and yes, they both smoke weed
and which one told you that?
why do i end up sitting straight up in my sleep. ignore how many blankets I use.
Bestie it is impossible to ignore the amount of blankets you use at first I assumed this was a meme and those were the layers of the crust of the earth
I actually have 4 more blankets I sometimes add but I didn't want to make my blanket number look excessive
Are you okay
The results are inconclusive on that.
Bestie. the reason you end up sitting up is your lungs think you are being crushed.
Ah yes, chat GPT coming for our pattern makers
Such a beautiful pup
thanks, she's a crossbreed
do fish ever get to repent? or are they doomed to swim around forever bearing the sins we have tossed to them to consume over the many years?
