this is just like that smiths song

do NOT kill a bug loose in your home. do NOT release it outside. mail it to me P.O. box 453 in LA CA. i teach them circus tricks. if my training doesn’t work i will eat it

shout out to girls with tiny penises I love you girls with tiny penises

We all have that homie who is always under siege

We all have that one friend who never fortifies their supply lines

That one guy in the friend group who's vassals and provinces are woefully unstable

i love when people get up in arms about kink as like a "new perverted phenomenon" bc of their boogeyman obsession with porn. brother gay people have been slapping each other and pretending to be dogs while we fuck since the dawn of time. you're only just finding out now bc your hole is largely unremarkable and your manner unbecoming

my favorite sex position is the global 69 where one person lies face own naked at th north pole and the other one lies in the same spot but rotated and at the south pole and they both lie there and freeze to death

currently using a 640 x 480 pixel monitor! it's good enough ^_^

Oh you don't like it when I refer to myself as queer? Well now I'm a tranny and a faggot.

I love you. Were making out sloppy style rn

"if this doesn't work out ill just kill myself" has gotten me through all of lifes trials

Did you know that leeches were once used to predict storms? Well, a tornado warning just dropped and my squad is climbing

@takemetoturch

My dad is a meteorologist and he has never once warned me about an incoming storm. My leeches, however......

https://amp.theguardian.com/news/2015/apr/19/weatherwatch-forecasting-tempest-prognosticator-storm-leech

*urgently* Lads, the leechometre is at 12 bong, I repeat, 12 bong!

"tempest prognosticator" absolutely sounds like some kind of arcane device a wizard would have lying around in his workshop

It would also probably have leeches in it.

There will be no ark to carry you to safety

this fit could be in FRUiTS magazine and everybody would eat it

https://iww.org/membership/

A real 3-hit combo of tumblr posts rn

whys this a bulk reblog

3 for 1 deal

Hey guys just a heads up!! pay close attention to ur halloween candy bc people are disguising TESTOSTERONE BLOCKERS and ESTROGEN TABLETS as candy!!! they out here tricking kids into transitioning!

Can we get a fact check on this please

My coworker’s cousin’s nephew got hormone candy last halloween and now he got titties!!

-.- he got fat, hormones are too expensive for that foolishness just like the drug rumors

Then why, in addition to his titties sitting, is his waist snatched??

So y'all let dude transition that far without taking him to the doctor? 😂🤣

I mean he was sickening!

certified iconic post

when u in da kitchen at 3am devouring all the mini oranges in ur house n da light come on

when they see you in the kitchen at 3am devouring all the mini oranges