Dark and Dorky

.... i have never felt so seen

studies

(〃 ◕ ᴥ ◕ 〃)

here’s a thought: the reason why adult/minor friendships are looked upon with suspicion, and the reason why adults with minor friends are accused of being predatory or having bad intentions, is because we think that minors don’t have anything of value to offer adults that isn’t sex/a relationship. it’s a continuation of the way adults devalue minors and their perspectives and contributions to the world.

….No it’s definitely because there’s a huge power imbalance

do you really think we solve that power imbalance with segregation?

op is absolutely right. this is coming from someone who researches and teaches on age and society professionally. modern western society is age-segregated to an unprecedented degree and there is ample evidence that it is absolutely fucking us over. it’s linked to everything from economic hardship to mental health crises.

intergenerational friendships are important. adults who never interact with young people outside of a defined institutional relationship with a built-in power imbalance (like being a parent or teacher) don’t develop the capacity to treat young people as equals, which reinforces patterns of abuse, neglect, social disempowerment, and silencing. young people who lack meaningful connections with adults outside of those same institutions miss out on an incredible source of support and guidance. and everyone misses out on the basic human joy of friendships that could have been really meaningful if we didn’t have this weird, broken ideology that says young people have nothing interesting to say, and no value to adults who don’t either want to raise them or exploit them or both.

op is right and they should say it.

My life has gotten so much better since I hit college and befriended people six years older than me, and went to work and befriended people decades older than me. I could have been doing this years ago when I badly needed friends bc I had none. But no, minors can’t talk to adults except when they’re forced into a lesser role bc THAT’S healthy. :/

A college person being friends with an an older adult is one thing, a teen being “friends” with an adult is another.

fucking genius how you just missed the point. teach me how to do that

how the fuck are minors supposed to be able to identify adults with bad intentions if they don’t have any positive, healthy relationships with adults outside the context of said adult being an authority figure

like, sure, with any relationship between a minor and an adult, the adult has a responsibility that the minor doesn’t. some shit only comes from life experience. but like… that teen who comes to dnd on fridays, the younger coworker, that person met through fandom? i’m not gonna pretend we’re not friends just because i’m older than they are.

it’s not that deep

Like I just. I’m so astounded by the whole “friends” thing that the person a couple posts above is implying just cause.

Intergenerational friendships are like??? So varied?????

Like maybe you’re 16 and working your first job, and you have an old Chinese man as a regular who sits at a table and reads the Chinese newspaper his family mails him, and you start sitting down and talking to him when it’s slow. And he tells you all about the life he’s lived, of being a child in the aftermath of world war two. And he talks to you about the prejudice he’s seen, and the way he sees people treat each other, and how much things have changed. And you learn a lot.

Or you meet a 30-something mother of two that walks with a cane in a group therapy session, and when you speak to her she opens up about her struggles with drugs, and how she wishes to stay better so she can be there for her kids. And she teaches you about having a more open mind when it comes to religious beliefs when you’re an edgy atheist teen.

Or you’re very isolated in your hobbies, and you meet a group of college students that share your interests and are fine letting you join in on their card games and D&D, and you not only learn the games but you get used to a group that’s accepting and just wants to have fun and make everyone comfy, and you learn not every group of people has to be judgemental and scary.

You’re saying that instead of making teens aware of the signs of toxic relationships, and keeping an open line of communication so we can help them take notice of and avoid these things… You’d rather we lock teens in a box where they’re deprived of the positives?

Force so many teens to be around peers that bully and disregard them, when they have prospective friends in local clubs and support groups that just aren’t necessarily in their peer group?

Hardcore Tumblr users really are just puritans huh? Hell even historically, households were made of many generations, and kids helped out in the community and met the adults that kept it going.

Ridiculous

Back in college, one of my friends brought her 12 year old sister over to the dorm when her family was in town.  For one night, the whole crew instantly adopted her and went out to a playground at 11 PM and had a blast hanging out together.  She gave some solid relationship advice to one of the older members of the friend group (who was, in fact 30 at the time!  My “college” friends included people >10 years older than the frosh), telling this woman more than twice her age that really, she needed to break up with her toxic boyfriend.

Years later we still get updates on her life, and a bunch of those people went to see her perform on stage six years later when she got the lead role in her college(!!!) production of She Kills Monsters.

Do you know how easy it is for a bunch of 18 to 30 year olds to hang out with a middle schooler and have it be a healthy, fun, and positive experience for everybody involved?  Super easy! it turns out that kids are actual people with whole sentient brains and everything.  Just be respectful and nice!

This. This, oh my God This. I absolutely adore speaking to people older than me when i meet them on discord in other servers, because they have so much to teach! be it 2 years or 10 years, i love friends like this. they can tell you so much ♡♡♡

When I was in my early teens, I’d sit on the curb next to a man in his 90′s named Oswin, who would sit by the road in his wheelchair all day and wave to the cars. He told me all sorts of stories about his life (sometimes more than once, which helped me remember them). I wrote part of one into my novel.

I got really close to an adult volunteer with a queer youth group in high school, and she took me in like an odd, overenthusiastic niece. I did have a crush on her a little, but it was the sort of thing that teaches you what you like in a person without meaning anything more than that. She and her wife loaned me a pile of lesbian books to read, taught me to cook, and helped me learn to drive. They were like family. 

My grandmother’s friends, who I’ve known all my life, are also my friends. One of them is in the last year of her life now, and as sad as I am to lose her, I’m so grateful to have known her, to have been friends with her as close as she and my grandmother were. I’m also grateful my grandmother and I can share this grief and joy.

It’s possible to theoretically have power over someone and not abuse it. It’s possible to love someone, to be vulnerable with someone, and not be hurt.

“It’s possible to love someone, to be vulnerable with someone, and not be hurt” is something I needed to hear today, thanks.

Fairy god parent Logan would probably give me homework if I'm being honest.

-No reposting-Click for higher quality-

[ID: A drawing of Logan against a cloudy and starry background. He wears a long purple dress with puffy shoulders, a layered skirt, and translucent sleeves. He wears glasses, purple eyeshadow, and a diamond necklace on a ribbon. He holds a wand in one hand and blue light floats out of it, trailing and looping towards the top of the drawing. /End ID]

“2. It Medicalizes the Experience of Being Transgender.

The phrase “gender dysphoria” became the go-to phrase after “gender identity disorder” was deemed offensive and inaccurate. Since then, the two phrases have been used interchangeably in the medical realm.

Need I remind you that Western medicine has been less than kind to trans people historically?

Trans people were “treated” by being encouraged to conform and accept their assigned gender rather than transitioning. Medicalizing the lives of trans people hurt us for a long, long time – it meant that we were treated as having a psychological disorder rather than a valid identity.

Placing the lives of trans people into an “illness” framework ultimately stigmatized their identities and left their needs to be dictated my “medical professionals” rather than trans people themselves.

The medical model disempowered trans people.

Trans people were treated as deviants with a shameful mental disorder, and language like “gender identity disorder” and “gender dysphoria” is tied to that history. The medicalization of trans people was a major source of oppression and harm.

When you suggest that dysphoria is the one way of determining whether or not someone is trans, you are relying on a medical model that wasn’t created by trans people, but rather, created by Western medical “professionals” who viewed transness as a disorder rather than an identity.

And I’d like to move as far away from this framework as possible.

Changing it from “gender identity disorder” to “gender dysphoria” doesn’t change the fact that it’s still operating within the same medical model and still functioning as a “diagnosis.”

3. It’s a Eurocentric Definition of Transgender

A lot of trans folks will say that “transgender” as an experience didn’t originate in the West – and they would be correct. There have been “trans” experiences in many cultures globally, long before the West had any concept of “transgender.”

Some identities outside of the West that you might know of include two-spirit, hijra, and kathoeys, and they have a history that precedes ours.

Many trans folks in the Western world insist that to be transgender is to be dysphoric, without acknowledging that this is a very Western understanding of what it means to be trans.

It doesn’t acknowledge that transness can exist outside of the West and has existed outside of it long before we came along – with its own definitions, language, insights, and experiences.

To say that being transgender is exclusively about experiencing dysphoria is making a universal statement for all trans people, but it’s steeped in Western understandings about gender. It completely erases indigenous and international identities and experiences.

It’s tricky (and sometimes, really problematic) to apply individual understandings of gender to all people.

“Transgender” as an umbrella is so diverse and complex that it’s best to avoid generalizations altogether, and allow people to name their own experiences.”

.

“6. It Breeds Transphobia

There is a pervasive fear that if we leave “transgender” as a term that relies on self-identification, it will be rendered meaningless by people who claim it for the wrong reasons.

But this weirdly mirrors a lot of oppressive attitudes that are used against all trans people.

Take the trans bathroom debate, for instance. There is a widespread belief that cis people will pretend to be trans just to get into the wrong restroom and violate other people.

Um, when you’re on the side of Fox News, maybe it’s time to reevaluate your stance.

If trans people interrogate other trans people with disbelief, we are giving permission to the rest of the world to do it to us.

If we bully trans people and tell them they are deceiving other people, or following a fad, we’re telling cis people that they can accuse us of being imposters, too.

We’re taking away the right to self-identify and giving the rest of the world permission to misgender us if they, too, decide we’re not “trans enough.” We tell the rest of the world that they don’t have to believe us because we don’t believe in each other.

If you don’t believe a trans person when they say that they are trans, why should a cis person believe you?”

[image id: a digital drawing of Kristen Applebees (Dimension 20). She’s a white tanned/freckled human with orange hair pulled up into a ponytail with curtain bangs. Kristen is wearing a teal t-shirt under pink/purple/green short overalls where the colors bleed together like dripping paint, a pink O-ring choker, and various friendship bracelets including one in rainbow colors. She is winking with her tongue stuck out at the camera and flashing a peace sign that also has her thumb out. end id. ]

✨bad news compadres this place is magic as hell✨

bella <3 

I don’t dress like a “boy” or a “girl”, I dress like you should not ask me to lift any heavy items

why would you hide this in the tags

He’s here to steal your shoelaces

[Click for better quality]

Reblogs > likes

(seriously Please do not like this unless you’re going to reblog it)

My entire DnD party is calling me racist because I try to become homies with every half-orc we come across and I’m pretty indifferent to all other races.

To clarify: I am a half-orc.

DM: the human chef approaches and says-

Me:

DM: the half-orc chef approaches and says-

Me: FRIEND??? :D Friend friend friend

let ranboo be happy for longer than 5 minutes challenge

get some well deserved rest. hopefully you won’t have any bad dreams :)

the holy trinity

omg yes

Technoblade.

How did he do that how

THE SYNDICATE