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when you write a sentence and it rhymes

why does the picture make perfect sense

@ girls who wear fake eyelashes to school: the fact that u take the time to glue individual hairs to ur eyeball to look nice for ur education is admirable and i envy u because I do not have nearly that amount of dedication

As a guy, I never notice unless I’m inches from a girl’s face anyway so what’s the big effort for?

Also, maybe biased because I prefer girls without makeup tbh

i have a feeling u don’t get too close to any girl’s face anyway so unfortunately your preferences are completely irrelevant

highkey hate getting the response “ew you’re dating them?” like just bc you don’t particularly like the way someone looks doesn’t mean u get to a) vocalize that opinion or b) attempt to make someone feel bad about the person they’ve chosen to be with. it’s not that hard to keep ur damn mouth shut and it’s certainly not that hard to appreciate the fact that everyone is beautiful.

roaming the streets of melrose

I CAN TBREATHE WTF IS THIS I JUST FOUND IT ON MY COMPUTER I DONT EVER REMEMBER MAKING It OMG

lol my god I’m so nosy. the person sitting next to me is texting someone named vince and was like “are you coming today” “I’d like to see you” but went back and added “lol” in front of it and I’m just like okay yas keep it cute and flirty and then vince was like “I’d love to see you too” and in my head I’m like yaaaassss Vince betta come thru and lay it down !!

when you just got done arguing with your mom and you realized your hungry

calming down after realizing how petty u were being

When I was 6 my brother told me that old people sag because they’re being pulled to hell and I cried

ya ever wonder if you’ve met the person you’re gonna marry yet

Lmaoooo

People who suggest getting breakfast together as a hangout plan are the kind of people you want to hang onto.

medium-rare pepe

Oh for fucks sake who the hell runs this blog

Me: *tip-toes in moms room at 3am* Me: mommy…u up? Mom: yes hunny is everything alr- Me: then why ain’t you murderin that mothfukin like?

im not scared of death. I’m scared of breaking my moms heart if I die before she does.

I wouldn’t let David electrocute himself so I’m the asshole