"tom brady" could be considered a powerful "daimyo" in the isolated feudal kingdom of "greater boston"

Just found out my facebook birding group is public because my cousin (a lawyer who is not into birds) casually said to me “saw you couldn’t identify a willet the other day… pretty embarrassing”

it’s been long enough i’m making an executive decision that we all need to go reread the tgi fridays infinite mozzarella sticks article

still just as good as i remember it

person in 2015 seeing anything bad happen in the world: this is like in harri potter when dobby fucked that tree trunk with his big cock

kitten, stop fucking around and tell daddy where you hid his prozac or daddy's gonna add another 'hey there delilah' to the sex playlist

why do you guys only like my bad posts

you’ve got to meet derek, he’s an absolute mad lad. out of fear of being hurt he withdrew to the point of effectively forfeiting his life. it continues to pass the daft cunt by

CHASER YODA: maybe trans for straight man you do, hmm? looking for something new, I am

woman: *doesn't reply*

Y: return to the force, I will. on your hands my blood will be

SAME NUMBER 2 HOURS LATER: yoda's doctor this is,

You’re in a car with a beautiful boy, and he won’t tell you that he loves you because he wants to fuck the car. He wants to fuck the car so bad. He can't stop thinking about wanting to fuck the car.

7-11 CLERK: lovely day outside, isn't it ME: uhhh ME INTERNALLY: shit. I didn't notice. How do I continue this conversation MY INNER MONOLOGUE: Service workers love it when you tell them the things mortal men were not meant to know, when you speak to them of principalities and powers upon the earth ME: In the sun a wheel, in the wheel another wheel. Do you see? 7-11 CLERK: Yes, I see! ME: For each turn of the outer wheel, one thousandth a turn of the inner wheel. And within the inner wheel a point of perfect darkness 7-11 CLERK: Right, growing, devouring. The death of all light ME: Wanes the light - right - wanes the light and waxes the solar eye. Wanes the day of flesh and blood and waxes the night of crawling beasts. Chewing and swallowing. The name of the night to come is khoshek ha-gibbor 7-11 CLERK: Is that hot dog a quarter pound big bite or a spicy bite. They're priced different ME: Which one is cheaper

June 7th, 1942: Edward Hopper completes his best known painting, the seminal Nighthawks. When asked by a Chicago Tribute reporter about the philosophical meaning behind the diner having no clearly visible exits Hopper responded, “Shit. Fuck. I did it again. Goddamnit. Fuck. Not again. I did it again. Shit.“ and slammed his hat on his leg.

how does this only have 150 notes

Lost icarly episode iSeen A Skull

iSeen A Skull found footage

hi folks. this post always seemed familiar to me for some reason, even when i saw it the first time. i only just figured out why, it uses a message i sent to my brother two years ago

His coy and effeminate stance increases his maneuverability perhaps .

one shot left in this revolver and he's flowing like a winding river right in front of my eyes

Make it fucking count

I got THE worst possible Tumblr ad

I'm gonna put it under the cut for the daring. I will say, Tumblr sure is a lot more lenient with advertisers violating their community guidelines.

This is the men’s tits website but what

w.hat

Unfortunately— and literally no one is talking about this— if you buy many many little treats for yourself, cumulatively, this can add up to a larger amount of money, if you add the numbers together. I’m not sure if there’s anything to be done about this but thought I would bring it to the attention of my beloved and far-reaching audience

take this down

if your country has or could have commuter trains would you take a train to a destination cooly without thinking much of it OR would you play it a little coy whenever the train shows up to the platform and flashes open its sexy little doors at you yearning for your attention for you to fall into its mouth but you look away seemingly uninterested and as it closes its doors defeated and leaves the station and you catch a glimpse of all the seats and handles and even tables in some compartments and as it pulls away you allow yourself to shudder with pleasure at the sound of the engine and you think about what it would be like to get consumed by this megafaunal steel block so you show up to the station day after day never quite getting onto the train but giving it just enough teasing to build the tension between you and this 500 ton beast of steel and plastic and you want to be trapped like a little fly inside its maw and explore its teeth and throat and trachea and into its stomach and feel yourself dissolve into the walls and become one with it but that can't happen just yet maybe it can never happen and it certainly cant be of your own volition to step in and get swallowed because whats important to you is that the chase never ends whats important is that it can never catch you or else the fun is over it can never stuff you into its jaws because its locked into a destiny of eternal edging unless you give it release and you stand at its precipice with its teeth and tongue and lips slick with oily salivation but you never quite fall no matter how much the poor trapped train flaps its stupid pathetic flimsy doors and coaxes you with the desperate voice inside the cabin announcing arrivals and departures no what really gets you off is the cruelty of it all the way you can burden it with human desires far beyond its own capacity to form them the way you can transform its dutiful burden of carrying passengers to and fro into a frustrating hateful drive of pleasure and you hope that one day it'll slide off its steel guides and finally squish you like the bug you are like a little defenseless prey-thing so naughty for having teased it for so long you want utter annihilation at the hands of a great big nasty oily puffing charging engine with no care for its own life just solely wholly focused on getting you in, on, or around it and you want to make sure both you and the train become so twisted by the chase that the pleasure awaiting you at the destination can no longer be distinguished from the pain of the journey and the hedonism just keeps adapting to baser and baser wishes until sex and death are a singular simultaneous yearning? which one would you pick

Time transfixed via Rene Magritte

Size: 146x97 cm Medium: oil, canvas

dumb ass accidentally painted a train instead of a fire

rene magritte has talent but this is a rookie mistake