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Don't Mourn, Organise!

@dontmourn-organise

Feminism, politics, equal representation in the media and gaming. My little slice of activism in a world which needs more voices. She/Her..

gonna expand on my other post bc it seems some gentiles are having difficulty understanding this conversation.

i see the sentiment "well jews can hide the fact they're jewish, but black people can't hide the fact they're black!!!!!!" all the time in progressive spaces in response to jews talking about antisemitism (most often from non black people....) and it's bullshit for several reasons, even outside of the idea that people should be able to wear culturally significant items and not face discrimination.

  1. black jews exist. we are not two completely separate groups.
  2. while there is no one way to look jewish, there are a lot of physical features that are very common among jews with jewish heritage (things like curly hair, darker skin, larger downturned noses, darker body hair) that have been specifically targeted by antisemites for centuries. a lot of jews have been bullied or harassed specifically because of these features and the fact society considers them outside of the white norm.
  3. you're setting a horrible precedent for mixed and light skinned folks. at what point is it their "responsibility" to pass as white if they technically could? should they straighten their hair? change their name? use skin lighteners? use double eyelid tape every day? get a nose job? never go out in the sun? never post pictures of their darker skinned family? at what point are their natural features considered changeable enough that the onus is put on them to hide them?
  4. for people who have features they can't hide or change, are you only giving them a pass because they physically can't do anything about their bodies? are you seeing their bodies as an unfortunate problem you can't solve? a stain on the carpet you've accepted you'll never be able to get out so you just put a coffee table over it and hope no one notices?

yes, there are times to talk about situations where some folks can access conditional safety and some folks can't. but the overarching conversation about rejecting assimilation into whiteness cannot and should not be centered around "choices." because "hide who you are or risk violence" is not a choice, it's a threat.

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okay but the BEST part of the first study discussed (conducted by an autistic person!) Is that it shows that while easy, calm, mutual communication and social interaction is often more natural between two autistic people than it is between an autistic person and a non-autistic person, it is ALSO like this when an autistic person encounters a non-autistic person who imitates the autistic individual’s behaviours- neurotypical parents copying autistic children’s play, for example, apparently receive more positive engagement from their child- which is SERIOUSLY FUCKING IMPORTANT and VERY VERY GOOD because it is, once again, scientific evidence that bullshit like aversion therapy and enforced conformance and FUCKING “quiet hands” aren’t “”“”“solutions to the autism problem”“”“” and that “”“”“problems”“”“ with autism don’t stem from BEING autistic, but rather, from how NON AUSTISTIC PEOPLE TREAT AUTISTIC PEOPLE.

IE, once again, there is nothing bad or wrong about being autistic

you know, one thing that i found extremely refreshing about the Barbie movie is how much it doesn't hate men or masculinity, and instead positions compulsory masculinity as similarly limiting and imprisoning as femininity when it's societally enforced

and i've been really surprised by how many people who have been going "this movie is anti-men, and that's GREAT" when like. it's not anti-men. it's opposed to patriarchy and toxic masculinity, but it extends a great deal of compassion to individual men

not just to magic ken and sugar daddy ken and allan and the other rejected kens, but even to stereotypical ken, who like. causes a lot of the problems in barbieland and leads it. it extends a great deal of empathy for his sense of powerlessness and loneliness

and it would have been very easy for the film to basically just call him an incel and punish him for what he's done by disenfranchising him even further, but it doesn't do that? it says, hey. you need more to your identity than your gender, and there's more to you than being str8

and that's exactly the same weight of the message communicated to barbie, that there's more to her identity than her gender, that there's more to her than her perfect appearance and performance

neither of them have to just be dolls

idk, i enjoyed it as a well-crafted film without finding it like, hugely artistically impactful on me, but that aspect of its gender commentary was incredibly refreshing, and far more nuanced than i'm used to expecting of cisgender creators

and i think it's a real shame for people to interpret that very carefully crafted arc for ken and the other kens and allan as "haha, this movie HATES men and thinks they're STINKY" when like. a lot of work was done to go beyond that sort of very easy reflexive hatred

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fyi

Gender reveal parties, and big planned reveals, literally were not a thing ten, fifteen years ago. Don’t let anyone pull that “it’s a tradition!” crap on you, youngsters. They’re LYING. People would either get the ultrasound or not to find out about the genitals, and tell people or not. That was that.

The fuss over “revealing” a baby’s gender in utero stinks of pushback against the shift toward a more nuanced understanding of gender. I mean yeah part of it is social media, and trends catching on, but don’t think for a minute this isn’t part of some regressive attitudes creeping into the mainstream with a cute (blue or pink) bow on it.

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Even the woman who helped popularize gender reveal parties is like…slow your roll, fam.

She only had a gender reveal party because it was her first pregnancy that made it to a gender pregnancy scan. All her others had been miscarriages. She was only celebrating a pregnancy milestone!

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that…..is a super valid reason for a party.

me a few years ago: its so weird how right wingers always wanna blame the "elite" given that alot of them are in the global 1% of wealth and therefore almost by definition the same "elite" they claim to hate. weird right? lol right wing logic makes no sense

me now: oh my god they mean Jewish people. its always been Jewish people. and the insistence of online leftists to use words like "elite" and "cabal" (to refer to a handful of ultra rich people who dictate a lot of how our lives are run) kinda makes them sound like antisemites too. maybe this whole idea that the world is run by a select few is a gross oversimplification which only serves to reinforce antisemitic stereotypes... oh no. maybe i have a lot of shit to unlearn. maybe i need to start vocally defending Jewish ppl. also local community building is the only way out of this

This post has been making the rounds on jumblr and I've had a few different reactions so I just wanna weigh into some things here.

First up:

Jews I love you and I'm so glad that this little thoughtramble I wrote a month ago resonated with so many of you. I hope it helps with educating some people on just how widespread and insidious antisemitism is.

Secondly: I'm a gentile so I'm by no means an authority on these things. But a couple fellow gentiles in the notes are saying stuff along the lines of, "but can't we criticise billionnaires?"

To which I say, watch where you step, cus you're on thin ice. I've learned a litte the past few years and here's my conclusions:

  • Of course a lot of stuff a lot of billionnaires do is reprehensible. On the left we should absolutely be criticising them! The best way to do this while avoiding antisemitism is to be specific about who you're criticising, and what for.
  • E.g. "The people running Exxon, Shell and BP have been sweeping climate change under the rug for decades while actively contributing it, they think their profits are more important than sustaining life on earth and that's abhorrent. We need better laws and processes to stop them from poisoning the planet."
  • E.g. "Elon Musk is a ridiculous manchild who's ruining Twitter and endangering people with his self driving cars and stupid ideas. He's an entitled dickhead and his wealth is mostly derived from colonial exploitation that his parents did. He does not pay enough taxes on what he earns. We need better inheritance laws and to close tax loopholes that allow him and people like him to hoard wealth."
  • E.g. "Jeff Bezos exploits his workers and has an unfair monopoly over online shopping and other convenience services. He needs to pay his taxes and pay his workers more and we need better monopoly laws to stop businesses from being able to control the market like this."

Also, please consider your motives:

  • Are you trying to make a positive difference for, e.g. Amazon workers? Go ahead, raise awareness of their plight and push for unionisation.
  • Are you just trying to find a group that is acceptable to hate? Stop right there and reconsider. No matter how privileged or powerful that supposed group, you're wayyyyyy too close to bigoted talking points.
  • Are you just making sweeping statements in order to rile up emotions and get people on your side? That's fascist tactics. Please don't.

And especially,

  • If you find yourself wanting to say, "I'm not antisemitic, but--" Please just don't say whatever you were going to say. If you have to make that qualification, there is an extremely high probability that what you're about to say is, in fact, very antisemitic. Compare to "I'm not racist but-" or "I'm not transphobic but-" followed by the most vile bigotry you've ever heard. Don't be that person.

Lastly I want to highlight these as well:

Absolutely correct. The amount of times I've come across online bigots who are like "George Soros is funding BLM!" or "LGBTs are elites trying to plunge this country into immorality!" This is all antisemitism. In general just be wary of anyone wanting to blame "elites" or "rich people" (yeah even that one cus historically Jews are stereotyped to have money!!! and also not all rich ppl are inherently evil!!!!) or "shadow government" or "globalists" or "lizard people" or really, literally anything that seems to imply that a small, select group of people is secretly running the world: That's antisemitism baby. It's all antisemitism. It's disgustingly common.

By all means, criticise billionnaires. But be specific. It's one of the best ways to make sure it's not veering into antisemitism. We know who these billionnaires are, for the most part; we know their names and we know their crimes. Talk about them specifically.

It doesn't help if you just swap out "elites" with "billionnaires" or "the 1%" if the rest of your rhetoric remains the same. It sounds exactly the same to antisemites, and they will feel empowered. In truth, it is much more complicated than "billionnaires are running the world and fucking us all over"; some billionnaires are using their fortune for good, and they don't directly cause our problems - they may exploit a system that was set up long before they were born, sure, but your problems are also caused by Sue from accounting and your neighbour ratting you out to the authorities and that kid across the road yelling slurs at you. Your problems exist because society lets them exist, and that includes everyone. The system makes it hard to fight this, and sure, most billionnaires don't help the issue. But again if you're just looking for someone to hate on, it's very likely you're actually reinforcing oppression rather than "punching up".

Sweeping statements are dangerous and a lot of your talking points have been used to justify genocide in the past. Just cus the world's been a lil less overt about its antisemitism post-Holocaust, does not mean antisemitism has disappeared, far from it. And it's being revived at an alarming rate just now so please, Gentiles, pay attention to what the dogwhistles look like and don't reinforce harmful stereotypes.

Thank you.

PS: A few blogs that have helped me unlearn and unpack antisemitism are @spacelazarwolf, @hadeantaiga and @gehe-lihiyot-androgynos-varda with a special shout out to @softness-and-shattering for being very patient with me rambling about jewish/antisemitism related stuff in dms. Youre all soooo great n I appreciate you soooo much <3

There's also lots of Jewish ppl in the notes of this post, I'm sure a lot of them have lovely blogs to follow.

There's some reading recs in the notes as well:

  • Jews Don't Count by David Baddiel,
  • People Love Dead Jews by Dara Horn,
  • The Holocaust: A New History by Laurence Rees

I haven't read these books myself, I've read a preview of Jews Don't Count and it's on my list of books to order when I have more money, but basically, go look at what actual Jewish folks have written on the subject, I'm just a random Gentile who doesn't like bigotry so don't take it just from me.

“What is it that the child has to teach?

The child naively believes that everything should be fair and everyone should be honest, that only good should prevail, that everybody should have what they want and there should be no pain or sadness. The child believes the world should be perfect and is outraged to discover it is not.

And the child is right.”

— Rabbi Tzvi Freeman

“Westerners are fond of the saying ‘Life isn’t fair.’ Then, they end in snide triumphant: ‘So get used to it!’ What a cruel, sadistic notion to revel in! What a terrible, patriarchal response to a child’s budding sense of ethics. Announce to an Iroquois, ‘Life isn’t fair,’ and her response will be: ‘Then make it fair!’” –Barbara Alice Mann

GRADE SCHOOL SJWS stop using social justice language to explain shit to your conservative parents IT’S NOT GONNA GO THROUGH now all they have are some new words to make fun of. don’t tell your mom she’s being fatphobic tell her she’s being a dick

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So we've been having a bit of a debate in the office because we wanted to do the headline "Local man gives up sugar for 12 minutes" but then overdoing the "local man" trope is a bit male-centric, so we considered "Local woman" but then that sounds like we're typecasting women so that wasn't great either, but I think we've finally found a worthy compromise:

This week I am very happy to present a collaboration comic with my friend Chrissie, who has been generous in sharing with me her experiences of gender dynamics in a technical field, and then helping me craft them into a comic narrative.

Whenever I see Chrissie’s work I’m always impressed at the cool, creative things she does. When we were discussing this comic, she told me: “I find men persistently try to direct me lots now too, which is probably the biggest problem I consistently run into”, and my feelings around that fact are a terrible and familiar blend of frustration, sadness, and lack of surprise.

When we talk about the differences in how men and women are treated professionally, especially in technical fields, we are often dismissed with ‘everyone has to deal with that’, or ‘women need to demonstrate more confidence with their skills’, or ‘they’re just trying to be helpful’, or ‘it’s all in your head’.

It’s frustrating when we know something like this is happening, but we spend so much of our time actually trying to get people to believe that it’s a real phenomenon. I find narratives like Chrissie’s validating in that she has a comparative set of experiences and is like ‘oh yeah, people totally think I’m less competent at my job now. it’s totally a thing’.  So, can guys just believe us already and get on helping it not happen?

I work as a vet tech at an exotics clinic, since transitioning to male i get AT LEAST half as many questions as i use to from clients. Our older male clients specifically who could spend 15 min grilling me about the info i was giving them, dont give me shit anymore!!! I tell them their bird has x going on and the treatment is y/z, and theyre like “okay, thank you sir”

Intead of the “well, did the DOCTOR say that? I want his opinion.” Kind of shit

These are highly subjective interpretations but to me Jadzia and Seven are two (opposite?) flavors of gender indifference:

Jadzia: gender depends on what's funnier in the moment/what allows her to commit further to the bit. Always aware on some level that she's putting on a show and she loves it, especially if other people get confused. Not her job to explain! Figure it out yourself!

Seven (Voyager edition): wants OFF this ride, it's already a concession that Seven is using I/my/myself pronouns instead of we/us/ourselves, why is being an individual tied so closely to gender in the first place. She/her is, for the moment, just the least exhausting option when interacting with others among pronouns that all feel alien to her