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y tho

@dontknowmanimjusttheemoteen

meme trash and edge queen all the same now have 14 followers. all spam accounts. congratulations Tumblr on removing all adult content
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• An Oxford comma walks into a bar, where it spends the evening watching the television, getting drunk, and smoking cigars.

• A dangling participle walks into a bar. Enjoying a cocktail and chatting with the bartender, the evening passes pleasantly.

• A bar was walked into by the passive voice.

• An oxymoron walked into a bar, and the silence was deafening.

• Two quotation marks walk into a “bar.”

• A malapropism walks into a bar, looking for all intensive purposes like a wolf in cheap clothing, muttering epitaphs and casting dispersions on his magnificent other, who takes him for granite.

• Hyperbole totally rips into this insane bar and absolutely destroys everything.

• A question mark walks into a bar?

• A non sequitur walks into a bar. In a strong wind, even turkeys can fly.

• Papyrus and Comic Sans walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Get out -- we don't serve your type."

• A mixed metaphor walks into a bar, seeing the handwriting on the wall but hoping to nip it in the bud.

• A comma splice walks into a bar, it has a drink and then leaves.

• Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They converse. They depart.

• A synonym strolls into a tavern.

• At the end of the day, a cliché walks into a bar -- fresh as a daisy, cute as a button, and sharp as a tack.

• A run-on sentence walks into a bar it starts flirting. With a cute little sentence fragment.

• Falling slowly, softly falling, the chiasmus collapses to the bar floor.

• A figure of speech literally walks into a bar and ends up getting figuratively hammered.

• An allusion walks into a bar, despite the fact that alcohol is its Achilles heel.

• The subjunctive would have walked into a bar, had it only known.

• A misplaced modifier walks into a bar owned by a man with a glass eye named Ralph.

• The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense.

• A dyslexic walks into a bra.

• A verb walks into a bar, sees a beautiful noun, and suggests they conjugate. The noun declines.

• A simile walks into a bar, as parched as a desert.

• A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, drinking to forget.

• A hyphenated word and a non-hyphenated word walk into a bar and the bartender nearly chokes on the irony

- Jill Thomas Doyle

A zeugma walked into a bar, my life and trouble.

this is so upsetting, PLEASE rb to spread awareness

PLEASE, PLEASE REBLOG THIS, WHETHER YOURE JEWISH OR NOT.

THIS IS A SUPER IMPORTANT PART OF OUR HISTORY, DONT LET IT GET DESTROYED.

I think it's important to let guys be gender non conforming without telling them they're a girl, cause actually misgendering people is still shit even when you are pro trans. "You're a girl, an egg waiting to crack, and that's ok" how about you are a boy and a man and it's still ok if you want to do something that doesn't align with traditional ideals of your gender. You can still be he/him in a skirt and makeup.

i like sailing myths and superstitions because most of them can be boiled down to "if the ocean doesn't like you it will chew you up and spit out your bones. and if it really loves you it will swallow you whole and keep you forever. good luck 👍"

It drives me insane how many people dont realise how often they break the law and that if the full force of it was ever applied life would basically be unliveable. Like between traffic violations, petty workplace theft, account sharing and piracy alongside how common it is to have been in posession of some illegal drug at some point in your life. People still manage to get away with thinking "criminals" are people who commit crimes not just populations that are surveilled enough to be routinely prosecuted

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honestly the reason why so many feminists get ridiculously upset when trans women correctly point out the transmisogyny problems within the movement (except the fact that they just flat up hate us ofc) is because most people who identify as feminists or put “feminist” in their twitter bio or whatever don’t actually want to be part of a global political movement dedicated to dismantling gendered violence worldwide, they want to be part of a pop culture club with a common enemy (Ew boys!!) where meghan trainer will make #girlboss songs about how cool and strong we all are. the actual long term goals of feminism have been condensed down into individualist capitalistic liberties that only extend to like, middle class white cis women who go on tinder dates

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every single time I install some indie software like for vtubing or any other specialized use I have to join another fucking discord because no one is putting their documentation online anymore. it's a serious problem. and discord is impossible to navigate. search doesn't work, threads are invisible if they haven't been bumped recently, no one keeps up with listing where things are or even maintaining a basic FAQ. this situation is really really bad and no one is going to understand exactly how bad it is until discord collapses and deletes all this shit off their servers

being on fandom discord servers is crazy bc someone you've been talking to a while will reveal they were the one that wrote your absolute all time favorite fic it's like meeting god in a walmart at 7am

either that or they'll reveal that they were the one who started a popular hc/ship that you hate and it's like meeting satan himself in the chili's bathroom

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"Isn't it weird that [thing humans commonly eat] is poisonous to literally every domesticated animal" I mean, there's a pretty good chance that [thing humans commonly eat] is at least mildly poisonous to humans, too. One of our quirks as a species is that we think our food is bland if it doesn't have enough poison in it.

Humans have a really weird mix of mundane superpowers.

We're not fast and don't have a lot of natural weaponry but we're bizarrely tolerant to a broad range of toxins to the point that one toxin is considered a morning necessity for some to perform at work. Gotta love us.

To new, inexperienced drivers:

so idk if they teach you this in drivers’ ed class or whatever, but if you see someone in the opposite direction flashing their high beams at you, they’re NOT being a dick. they’re saying, “SLOW DOWN, I just saw a police car back there”.

If I hadn’t known that today, I wouldn’t have noticed the police car hiding in its fox hole and gotten a ticket for going 20 over the speed limit. and I’m glad I don’t have to pay $80 for a dumb mistake!!!

In deer country this is also used to warn others about a herd up ahead. In either case, the double flash means that some nonsense is occurring and ya gotta slow down!

Double-flash also means “turn on your headlights”. Basically, if someone’s flashing their brights, pay super-close attention and figure out what’s going on.

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They could ALSO be flashing them to tell you to turn YOUR brights off because you’re blinding them! It’s common courtesy to turn your brights off for oncoming traffic, but not everyone knows this~

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I’ve also seen it used to warn of an accident ahead. Basically anytime someone flashes their brights at you, if your own lights are 1) on, and 2) not on bright, you can take it to mean “slow down and pay attention for the next stretch of road particularly.”

Whether that’s for a speed trap, a herd of deer, or four fire trucks, two ambulances, and a dozen squad cars all clustered around what used to be two vehicles, slowing down and paying attention is good for you and can save you a lot of money and/or heartache.