I was just driving behind a car with a bumper sticker that said "honk if you honk." They also had a vanity plate that said "PEA PEA" (it was a pea-green car). Good choices all around.
Mamba is the best and most efficient box shredder
It feels weird to celebrate Pat Robertson’s death when I genuinely thought he was already dead...
Never been so happy to get on a bus and breathe circulated bus air. Not used to wildfire smoke here in DC, that's for sure.
A light in my house suddenly turned on- AND WHO DO I SEE?!?!
it’s the schism all over again
Yesterday I did an orientation at my local courthouse, and one of the speakers kept talking about “felonies and mister meaners.” I’ll never be able to hear “misdemeanor” again without thinking of her. Missy Mister Meaner Elliott.
Narrowly avoided being hit by a car while crossing the street (in a crosswalk). I screamed “What the FUCK!?” a bit too loud, but I restrained myself from flinging my Big Gulp into his rear windshield. Like, it would have been a shame to waste all that Diet Coke. It wouldn’t even leave a sticky residue.
homosozialismus
why the fuck does kimberly get less coffee
get rid of jeffrey and keep his mug
satanicdemona
This is the perfect visual metaphor for heterosexuality.
dont gays have a power bottom thing? not everything is an attack against women. its supposed to be the moon and the sun. a super old ancient metaphor for men and women since forever. is it an equal metaphor? no i suppose not, since without the sun the moon doesnt shine. its old fashioned which doesnt agree with modern notions of equality necessarily but its a sweet old fashioned thought. the sun shines for the moon and makes its beauty known to the whole world. the sun doesnt hide the moon or demand anything from the moon, it just glorifies everything about it.which is how a man should be in a relationship: a sun to brighten the moon.
dont gays have a powerbottom thing?
cardozzza
I can’t believe this post only has 108k notes when he is probably the most referenced straight nonsense yet
I had legit forgotten the origins of ‘don’t gays have a powerbottom thing?’ This is like living history
Source: initiallyyoutoo.com
Anyway, Cricket got subcutaneous fluids at the vet earlier and now he has one comically oversized leg:
Cricket is doped up on pain meds, and I just fed him a huge amount of lunch meat and we’re playing a game of “put things on the table so the cat can knock them off.” He’s purring like crazy, and I’m about to give him a plastic bag to chew on. He’s old and in poor health, but he’s still just so full of life...
mr president another dril tweet has manifested itself into reality
Y’all have got to stop reacting every time some teenager says that anyone over 26 is old. Stop saying you're an old crone just because there are bartenders and grad students who weren't alive on 9-11. I’m 30 or 40 years old, and it’s been a long time since I stopped having an existential crisis over the fact that there are human beings who are younger than me. Because guess what - that issue is only going to become more and more acute with the linear progression of time.
Just be grateful for the fact that TikTok and Instagram weren’t around when you were in high school and stop responding to the annoying things that young people say to get a rise out of you ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I got a check for over a thousand dollars because I once bought a car from a dealership that got sued by the FTC for illegal fees and discriminatory lending. At first I was like yay, but then I thought, no this is bad news :\
