This post assaulted me

when he licks his lips seductively

what the fuck is that thing?

my boyfriend :)

destroy the idea. destroy all ideas. end all cognitive processes to reach perfect tranquility

What if I don’t?

Let this be a warning.

french names

pink moments

instagram

them: you know, it’s hard to date you, because you’re always taking and captioning brooding pictures of your chicken

me:

i love coming home at the end of the day and untying the ribbon around my neck that holds my head on

Mutuals do this !! This is super cute 😍😁😘👌🏻😛😜

Hit me with a stick and throw me in a river

Imagine being a bear. No bills. You can scratch your back on a tree whenever you want. Seasonal weight gain is necessary. No judgement for sleeping 3 months at a time. It would be beary great.

*me, owning a strange boutique housegoods/book store selling a variety of mystic, occult objects but no one realizes I live there, this is literally my living room*

How much for this stick I can shake at God?

10 bucks

can i get these three backscratchers with a bundle discount

15% discount for 3 or more

How bout this book? I think it’s look cool with a cosplay I’m planning

40 bucks but never attempt to read or open it

How much is the doll?

Oh that? Just take it. Take it far far away and do not allow it to return

How about this?

$29.99. Just be careful not to leave the candles burning at night, the gremlin comes alive and likes to wander around and go through your stuff

Hey this chair looks cool, how much?

the chair chooses its owner. sit down and see if it likes you

How bout this

Excuse me that’s my great-uncle, he is family

What about this?

that’s not a sale item, that’s my dang lunch

How much is this neat tea set?

OH GODS YOU’VE SET THEM LOOSE

buttcheek

what are y'all (18+) aesthetic blogs gonna do if I’m under 18???? pale bubblegum goth me to death??? not a chance

wats he doin

you: I got your back buddy

me, an intellectual: I posess your spine friend

Please don’t appropriate uwu culture if you can’t even “h-hewwo…? is anybody thewe? I’m…scawwed…OwO” properly, it’s really insensitive and we’re already experiencing enough intolerance and oppression as it is

pwease dont appwopwiate uwu culture if you can’t even “h-hewwo…? is anybody thewe? I’m…scawwed…OwO” pwopely, it’s weally insensitive and we’re alweady expewiencing enough intolewance and oppwes-

hmm……..much to think about………

Hummf……mush twowo tink ahbowt……

hmmm……………………