SOMI XOXO, 211107
ds6-deactivated20220227
Nothing hurts more than having flashbacks of all the things that broke you
my problem is i think everyone is getting tired of me and hates me
Mood: making out while my fingers are inside of you
Tu sei comme il mare volevo dirtelo
Nascondi la parte migliore
Ti amo voodoo love
How do i get over everything that has happened?
What i would give to have you back like before
“If anyone had opened his arms to me, I would have wept like a child.”
— Albert Camus, Death in the Soul
I know that some days you barely exist- scrolling mindlessly for hours, trying to find some peace. I know that sometimes you wish you could be someone else because your 10 year old self had big plans to save the world and some part of you wants to make her proud still. I know that sometimes you feel like a side character in your own story, written with someone else's words. I want you to please unclench your jaw and let go of the tension in your shoulders and save yourself first. The sun is still out there and it'll be there tomorrow, ocean waves exist and oranges taste like peace.
I hope you say goodbye to the ghost of your 10 year old self because unlike her, you still exist.
-Ritika Jyala, excerpt from The Flesh I Burned
― Haruki Murakami, Norwegian Wood
[text ID: I want you always to remember me. Will you remember that I existed, and that I stood next to you here like this?]
Tumblr has seen my ups and downs
He asked me when I fell in love with him and I knew it sounded dramatic to say the moment I saw him, so I told him this story of my grandma who had Alzheimer's- she forgot her name and the words for fruit and food, she forgot her address and how to use the washroom, all her life lost to the disease. The only thing she remembered was her son's name and when that began to fade, the one thing she always remembered was that she loved him, even in illness, even in insanity. She saw this 6 foot 2 man with a scrubby beard and she didn't know him but she said she trusted him, she asked him to hold her hand when she died. When does memory end and love begin? All I know is- she loved him before she remembered him.
-Ritika Jyala, excerpt from The world is a sphere of ice and our hands are made of fire
And maybe I loved you too close, just like Icarus did the sun. Your love scorched my soul and left nothing but ashes.
“I wanted to tell you that wherever I am, whatever happens, I’ll always think of you, and the time we spent together, as my happiest time. I’d do it all over again, if I had the choice. No regrets.”
― Cynthia Hand, Boundless
My heart hurts so much
But my mind is so happy with thoughts of you