This rapid slide from attempted machismo to sweet tender feelings is what happened to the show, too.

When i had breast reduction surgery, i got into the OR and got put on this table that looked like a flat crucifix (arms out so they could get to the girls), and i said ‘god, don’t nail me down’

they put the mask on my face and the nurse said ‘no jesus treatment today’

and the last thing i said to her was ‘jesus with some big ass titties’ and then passed out. 

When I had to get my wisdom teeth taken out they gave me Xanax the night before, Xanax the morning of, and put me on nitrus gas to try and help calm me down for the IV. So I was pretty faded already when they wheeled me into the operating room and I said “you should close that window, I’m a flight risk” while actively trying to climb out said window.

Just thinking about how republicans are going after normie sex shit like "internet porn" and "dildos" now

we fucking told y'all

to be clear: the right views any sex that isn't purely procreative as deviant. it's not just kink, or queer sex they find abhorrent. And they genuinely believe that the better educated you are about sex in general, including about gender shit, the more deviant you are. they're legitimately trying to claw everyone down to hell with them.

Now? Before 2003 it was legit technically illegal in some states for even straight couples to have oral or anal sex, and there are still laws in some states restricting how many dildos you can own etc.

I don't really know what the goal is with putting a numerical limit on dildos, but with republicans the answer is usually "There isn't one. Die."

This is your periodic reminder that it is currently right now illegal in the united states to own porn that the average person in your community would be offended by. That's the legal definition of obscenity (a piece of media that 1. Exists to turn people on 2. has no other "redeeming" purpose and 3. would be offensive to most people in your jurisdiction) and you can theoretically be arrested and go to jail for owning "obscene" media or giving it to other people.

"But that's ridiculous," you say, "porn that the average taxpayer would think was ~offensive~ is absolutely fuckin' everywhere, on the internet and in real life, and nobody gets in trouble for it." And you'd be right about that. Realistically, this is a law that cannot be enforced: it is way too easy to break, way too hard to track, and way too many people are interested in breaking it.

Same with the pre-Lawrence v. Texas laws against "sodomy" that headspace-hotel is talking about. Yeah, it was illegal to give a blowjob in the privacy of your own home. But of course most people who like blowjobs never even thought twice about those laws, because it's usually pretty easy to Not tell a cop what you do in the privacy of your bedroom with your spouse.

"So if laws like this don't actually stop people from doing whatever sexual things they want to do, why are you concerned about it? You just said these laws don't hurt anybody, right?" Here's the thing. The purpose of laws like this is to create an atmosphere where you can get away with doing ""deviant"" things... if you hide it from polite society, if you keep it secret, if you know your place.

What you can't do is go out in public and say that actually gay people can have happy relationships, or that masturbating sometimes doesn't make you a depraved sex addict, or that it's okay to want to enjoy having sex and not just do it as your Duty To Your Husband.

You can get away with doing what you want in private if you never challenge the dominant cultural message that what you're doing is gross and immoral and people who do it are disgusting freaks. If you dare to speak up and point out that your ""shameful secret"" is actually normal, off you go to jail.

That's the purpose of laws like this. To make it impossible to challenge the rhetorical stranglehold of conservative christianity on society. To shift the Overton window once and for all to the right. And that's why we need to fight laws like this with all our strength, every time the right tries to push them forward, even when the specifics are stuff like "you can't own more than five dildoes" that might seem like a silly thing to go to war over. It's not about the specifics. It's about limiting everyone's speech to things a conservative preacher would say from the pulpit.

The other thing laws like this are good for is giving the police excuses

Me, going through my notifications in the morning, about to block another round of pornbots

Friendly reminder that 1200 calories is the recommended amount for a 5 year old

this hit me.

another fact is that 500 calories isn’t even enough for a new born.

why did I go so long convinced that going over 500 in a day was the end of the world?

Another friendly reminder that the United States used 1,000 calorie diets as torture for political prisoners and justified it using the diet industry.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/04/17/bush-torture-memos-commer_n_188190.html

Another another friendly reminder that the Minnesota Starvation Experiment subjected adult men who were VOLUNTEERS to 1,560 calorie diets and the psychological effects were so profound that one volunteer cut three of his own fingers off and could not remember why.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Minnesota_Starvation_Experiment

These men were volunteers who knew exactly what they would be going through and when it would end, and who believed they were doing it for a good and moral reason (the research was used to help rehabilitate victims of starvation and famine at the end of WWII).

And these are the things we are expected to engage in FOREVER to stay at a “healthy” weight.

Reading about the Minnesota Starvation experiment was my wake-up call.  It was what kicked me out of my eating disorder.  The guy missing three fingers, whatever his name was, he was the last straw for me.

Scared me so fucking bad I stopped restricting my food that day, and never went back to it.

Just bringin’ this back around like I sometimes do.

Wow. This really hit me hard.

EAT

Fun fact– calorie restriction exacerbates symptoms of pretty much *every* mental illness.

Anorexia has ~16% mortality rate, slightly higher than acted upon suicidal ideation. It’s more lethal than actively trying to kill oneself and this is why.

Remember that “calories” are a measure of the “energy” you get from food and not specifically a measure of fat or sugar or any one thing. A single calorie is the amount of heat it takes to warm water by one degree Celsius. Using it as a measure of a “healthy diet” is batshit gibberish.

More reading https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Minnesota_Starvation_Experiment

https://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-25782294

not in the fandom, not out of the fandom, but a secret third thing

EXACTLY.

I don’t care how unfair things are in your life, put some goddamn headphones on in public

My new grindcore band Assassination Coordinates

this tweet's gonna explode when he gets assassinated for real

parents who tell their daughters they are ugly are bad parents

everyone who is replying to this with some variety of “that’s just how life is”

no

your parents fucked up and should not have treated you that way

they were wrong and you should say it

This includes implied ugliness.

It should go without saying, but this goes for guys as well. If people shamed you for your body or the way you like to express yourself, that wasn’t okay and you don’t have to convince yourself that it was.

Getting a new porn bot everyday like it’s an advent calendar

The fucking legendary WAIT to fake bomb them to show them you knew the whole time. 

Legend.

i love that there was definitely an intelligence briefing where someone in charge heard that there was a fake airfield in progress and went, "...hey you know what would be funny?" and then everyone else agreed it was indeed SO funny that they would devote man-hours and a sizable log to making a fake bomb to drop on it while being only somewhat busy fighting a war, but never too busy for a funny craft project

what is the truth

they’re married you asshole

u right, my bad

thats their lesbian daughter

Reblog if you support the gay papertowel dads and their lesbian paper towel daughter

Can’t you guys read it says strength has no gender. That’s their nobinary kid whose name is “Strength”

Next time someone asks me to explain Tumblr I’m going to show them this and say “No.”

Congrats Rebel!

computers are gay because you're always downing loads

lots of gay people on this website it seems

If you know, you know.

I'm sure you've seen the Tik Tok vid by this point!!! The shower scene was a perfect fit!!