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Worst part about this is I've only ever used that yellow square emoji once and it was just to see how it looked. This isn't who I am. However, in retrospect, I suppose it is

Reading through the notes is a surreal experience please keep adding more to fuel my effervescent consumption of non descriptive emojis

Alexander McQueen Fall 2018

this image is so fucking funny

I've been reading facts on Wikipedia again, and i'm overcome with the need to terrify non-Americans with the most underrated Terrifying American Thing: TORNADOES

Due to a quirk of mountain and ocean placement, the east-central United States has a higher number of tornadoes (particularly exceptionally strong tornadoes) than any other place on Earth.

And they're so fucking scary oh my God

I am going to spit on Thomas Edison's grave

Its really shocking how much evil shit can be traced by to Thomas Edison and Henry Ford

I drink this and my knees no longer crack and make weird noises.

#395. In Pokémon FireRed and LeafGreen, Kanto Elite Four member Lorelie has a house on Four Island in the Sevii Islands.

Inside the house contains 6 Pokémon Dolls, but every time the Player defeats the Elite Four and enters the Hall of Fame 25 times, an extra Pokémon Doll will appear in the house. This continues until the Player has entered the Hall of Fame 200 times and a total of 14 Pokémon Dolls reside in Lorelie’s house. (X)

local woman buys plushies to cope with child beating her ass 200 times consecutively

Pov you are Lorelie after being defeated for the 200th time in a row

children should be forcibly biomedically transitioned into animal/human/machine hybrids and trained for war

Beans.

My partner and I have a running joke with a friend. Every time he goes on holiday we increase the quantity of beans in his flat.

The first time we bought ~30 cans of kidney beans and hid them around the house like some Easter egg hunt thing but with beans.

The Second time we bought ~6kg dried white beans and hid those in various places. Nearly every receptacle that could safely hold beans became the home of beans. My personal favourite was emptying an oat milk carton, very carefully washing and drying it, filling it with beans and then just putting it back among several other cartons.

He went on holiday again a couple of weeks ago. Obviously there is an expectation of bean-based shenanigans. And obviously we have to beat our previous efforts.

Our friend has (had) a mosaic on his wall of the famous Marilyn Monroe Pop-Art by Andy Warhol. He made the mosaic himself. Over the last couple of weeks we have spent hours and hours assembling a frame, drawing up a pattern and gridding out a 70 x 70 frame and gluing an untold amount of beans to it. I have spent over 21 hours gluing beans to a frames.

For the last couple of days I ended up going to bed at 5:00 am because I lost track of time whilst experimenting with which types of glue works best with different beans (I now have *opinions* on this, y’all). The day of our friend’s return we spent the morning and afternoon grouting the piece and wiping it down and wiping it down again and wiping it down again because grout is just like that. In the evening we went to install the mosaic, just a few hours before his return. Here’s a comparison between the original and our clearly superior replication, and the new piece installed in its rightful place.

It took him over a day to notice. So for over a day he was wandering round his house knowing there were beans somewhere, but not knowing where.

One of my favorite tricks for designing alien species/cultures is to take a real animal with an interesting lifecycle and think about what that biology would translate to if they had human intelligence

Example: silk moths as a base species

Because the moths themselves don’t eat and only live long enough to mate and then starve to death, the entire culture is made up of children and adolescents. The older children raise the younger ones, with families being made up of hatchmates from different years.

Because molts and eventual transformation into a short lived adult happen on a set schedule, families have a cycle— when your oldest set of siblings cocoon to become adults, you wait at the mating grounds and try to adopt their newborns after they pass. If that fails, you take any ‘orphans’ you can find.

Because death and birth are nearly simultaneous, they have a religion based around reincarnation, and infants with markings similar to a parent are often given their name. Claiming the offspring of a beloved family member is vitally important, because you want to be able to protect their soul and keep them close.

Because it’s hard to track the offspring of your male family members, there are sometimes major fights when a family sees an infant with familiar markings in another family’s clutch.

Between mating seasons, their culture is extremely food-oriented, because everyone is growing and silkworms eat nigh constantly. They spend most of their lives outdoors but sleep and shelter from bad weather in large family dwellings made from wood and the remains of the silk cocoons of prior generations.

everyone is really vibing with the silkworm aliens I see

there are so many people in the notes regretfully informing me this has similarities with homestuck, as though I didn’t spend $15 I can never get back on that kickstarter in 2012. you fools. do not let andrew hussie make Cool Bug Aliens cringe. be free.