🤔

mr president another dril tweet has manifested itself into reality

Scientists have determined that the funniest thing possible is 30000 stooges

add a bwa to a hahaha and everyone loses their minds

the two quarterbacks will ceremoniously kiss at the end of the game to signify the end of the superbowl and the beginning of valentine's day

was so amused by this i sent this to my family group chat and i don’t think my dad really knew what to make of it

flush your underwear down the toilet.

on it boss o7

it’s gloged now

more

flooding

can i get her number

We found her. The manic pixie dream girl.

my family fucked up my life by using spoonerisms interchangeably with their true phrase counterparts since before i was born and now i can’t escape from instinctively saying shit like “im gonna shake a tower”

oh “meeking a smee” made me feel like i was being fucking tazed

Still think about “first day of standing lessons” regularly

disappearing like the roanoke colonists but carving "I NEED A FAT BITCH" into a tree instead of "CROATOAN"

the average person has a perfectly legitimate reason for not wanting to show up in a medical journal: it means that there was something interesting wrong with you. that's fine

my neurotic reason is because it's the scientific equivalent of being in a doctor's cringe compilation

the heading: novel cause of pelvic fracture in young adult

the implication:

A small grotesque biting a bigger gargoyle, roof of Salisbury Cathedral, UK. 

L + ratio + oversized clown shoe ass kayaking equipment + ur paddling inefficiently + u will tire quickly

When you leave your introvert friend at the party to get drinks.

Huacrapona palm tree

unless “ethics” is a new brand of poppers I assure you no one involved in this is thinking about ethics

this needs the reply where someone confirmed how many of these words aren't in the Bible

personally this was my favourite thing to come out of the situation

me when I "mysteriously" feel better after I "have something to eat"