tumblr staff: hello! we are testing out a new thing. it is experimental so we want lots of feedback on this from the community! :)

the community: hey this sucks. all of us agree this change is dogshit and needs to be either completely reworked or just not implemented at all. here is exactly how to fix it btw.

tumblr staff: thank you for the valuable feedback everyone! we are doing it anyways :)

I really don't think it's true that abusers always know they're abusive or that if you're worried you're being abusive, that automatically means you're not.

There are patterns of harm we can fall into without really realizing what's going on. We live in an abuse culture that justifies and even celebrates certain kinds of abuse and makes them seem normal.

Maybe when you're trying to protect yourself from harm you set your boundaries so far out from your own autonomy zone that you're infringing on someone else's. Maybe you think you're being fair because you aren't thinking about what it's like for the other person, you're too focused on staying/getting in your own comfort zone.

Maybe you're so used to dysfunctional interactions that every conversation is a power struggle, and you don't even realize that when you're "winning" all the time you're grinding someone else down—you're too busy being relieved that you're not "losing" all the time anymore like you did in the past with someone else.

Maybe you think you're being "funny" and it's "banter" to constantly tear down someone in your life. Maybe you assume they're having fun with it too and that this is how you act friendly towards someone.

Maybe you believe lies about what rape is or what abuse is. Maybe you grew up being told men always want sex and you don't even realize when you're pressuring him into it that he genuinely doesn't want it and it's not a game. Maybe you believed the lies that women say no to seem modest but if she "gives in" that's how you know for sure she wants it. Maybe you thought physical arousal was the same as consent.

Maybe you thought being mean when you're in a bad mood wasn't abuse as long as you don't hit. Maybe you grew up in an environment where any conflict meant you had to hurt the other person as much as possible emotionally in order to "win".

Maybe you're a parent who learned that spanking or scaring your kids is how you keep them in line, which seems necessary to protect them. Maybe you don't realize how cutting some of the things you say are, or how thoughtless or unkind you're being. Maybe you never learned gentleness before you had kids, or don't understand what's age appropriate.

When you're an abuser or a rapist who didn't realize at the time how much harm you were doing, it can cause serious cognitive dissonance to realize the impact of your actions. It's easy to get defensive and decide that since you don't think of yourself that way, there's no way you could possibly be an abuser or a rapist.

It's easy to say that if you don't want to be an abuser, you're not. But it's not always true.

It is absolutely vital that everyone learns how to interact in safe and respectful ways. We're all responsible for figuring out how to not harm other people.

Believing that it's impossible you're harming other people can make you MORE likely to harm them, because you're not checking yourself to make sure that you're not.

White and white passing women have learned how to weaponize victimhood and once you’re aware of that it’s so goddamn obvious

I think a lot of people understand this conceptually but IRL only see it as like ‘white woman saw a black guy and called the cops’ but it’s also ‘white/passing woman says something problematic then trots out the emotional pain of being accused once there are consequences’ and the ENTIRE schtick of ‘soccer mom type has been mildly inconvenienced (often bc of her own doing) in relation to a transaction and now she want ssomeone PUNISHED so she goes directly to the manager acting extremely put upon’

The key is that they center how shocked/uncomfortable/inconvenienced they are and exaggerate the pain and upset it causes them, then aims it at who they want punished.

I’ve experienced the really simple, petty shit too. When I worked at Lowe’s, a coworker made a joke and I laughed, noticed a customer in front of me and said “good evening”. Then I noticed she had some badass shoes and I told her I liked them. Mind you, I was still giggly from the joke, all this happened in like a minute or two. She immediately called a manager and claimed that I was making fun of her and demanded I be fired. I explained to my manager what happened and exactly what I said, and she threw a fit saying I was just trying to save my skin and that I shouldn’t be laughing while at work anyway. So this gringa felt so hurt by the little brown woman enjoying her night at work and dishing out compliments that she had to go play the victim and demand I be fired. All because, what, I wasn’t miserable? I dared to look her way? Like yeah, they often weaponize victimhood in a way that ends up violent, but they also do it just to be petty. They ruin people’s lives sometimes just because they had a bad day. And all of that needs to be addressed. We see it every day.

YEP! White fragility is handled with the same lashing out behavior but the women do it by trying to get you fired/arrested i.e. outsourcing the violence. She had to feel an even slight moment’s discomfort because she’s petty and paranoid and literally wanted to take your daily bread for it. So uncouth. It’s honestly barbaric.

A key here though is that you’re separating petty and violent and I’m not. Because while her desire may have been petty, her goal was not: She wanted you fired. She wanted you starving. She wanted to take your livelihood because you made her feel a thing she didn’t like. In 2018 that’s violent. People are out here starving and dying and not affording medical care and having to crowdfund groceries. Trying to get someone fired on a whim is literally violent.

next tumblr update they're removing the posts

most annoying people on the internet are the ones who act like having a nazi phase was a universal experience

someone: haha it's crazy that we're all gay and trans now. remember how we were all edgy nazis in 10th grade?

me (normal): no. i do not remember that.

also why are you so comfortable admitting that

like, you couldn't waterboard that information out of me but you're over here posting memes about it on reddit

<33333

It’s not a hard concept to grasp that Israelis cannot exist in Palestine as they currently are and do. This is not saying that Jews can’t live in Palestine, quite the opposite. However, they cannot exist as a privileged class by virtue of their ethnicity. They cannot exist as settlers. They cannot exist while they continue to militarily occupy another people. They continue to have the upperhand even within Internal Israeli politics. They have the upperhand in pretty much every aspect of Israeli society, even over Palestinian citizens of Israel whom are Israeli citizens. There is no justification as to why Israelis need to maintain their current status quo. 

Any time that news surrounding Israel’s systematic killings or displacement of Palestinians occurs followed by claims from Zionists that “Jews have a right to feel safe in Israel” or something similarly nonsensical, I am reminded of this timely post from over 7 years ago which only continues to be more and more relevant with each passing day.

as soon as the internet decided depression and anxiety were the everyman mental illnesses and therefore not to be taken seriously we were all fucked tbh bc the fact that i have to feel embarrassed to admit i have debilitating anxiety because people will think im just an uwu dont call me out coward is ridiculous. its insane that i have to clarify that my depressive episodes are like life threatening and not whatever dipshit dumbed down idea of depression people seem to have like oh yeah i just wanna watch netflix and eat ice cream and not text people back. like bro i think im the devil

like maybe depression and anxiety are household names now but they do still kill people. like. theres a reason they fucking kill people.

why is it always the fancylad boy-king type whos the bottom. maybe his tough loyal knight who uses his body to protect and defend him and lives to serve him wants to get railed

maybe i just like it when masc dudes with scars and calluses and a devotion complex bigger than the moon get topped by troubled prettyboys with hands thatve never worked a day in their life. who said that

Thank you for your work soldier 🫡

FUCK aliens ! we got these crazy shits under da sea and we’re not payin any attention!!!

YES

“the colony can regenerate injured parts or continue growing after being broken apart. Unless all individual clones are killed at the same time, a colony can theoretically live forever”

This thing is fucking mythical

yeehaw

This is the Alaskan Bull worm

just saw someone post “it’s common knowledge ur not supposed to spam reblog from someone ur not mutuals with” …..?????????? am i confused??? IS that common knowledge???? i try not to spam if i can help it but i actually personally love seeing spam notifs lmao??? unless i dont know what spam reblog means

Reblog if you like it when people “spam reblog” from you or whenever that means at any time

you may add ur height in the tags if u want ppl to see if they were right or not after they voted

here's your fucking feedback @staff

list of problems the removal of icons causes:

list of problems solved by removing icons:

here's some more feedback: maybe when you run an a/b test you should, idk, actually have a feedback form people can fill out about it somewhere

GF and I had a 'wait, who is the weird one here?' moment talking about this the other day and I want to know what other people's experiences are.

[NOTE: this doesn't count scenarios where you were/are living with people you don't consider family.]

The deciding factor on "is toothpaste communal" in every place I've lived, family and otherwise was "is everyone using the same type/brand?"

In places where everyone was using the same brand or only one person had a brand preference, the toothpaste was communal and part of the split grocery bill. This was mostly roommates and my family at one point.

In places where people had different brand preferences or prescription toothpaste, it became an individual has their own tube thing.

I don't recall there being disputes about "whose toothpaste/whose turn is it to buy" in either situation, or disputes about "is this indie or commie toothpaste?" But I also tend to live with deeply conflict-averse people.

Bird identification is so fucked up in a really fun way you can’t understand until you get into it. For example, there is a type of goose called the cackling goose that looks exactly like a Canada goose except smaller and “cuter”. The cackling goose is way, way, more rare in most places than its relatively common cousin, so it’s on tons of birders life lists. Everyone wants to see a cackling (look in any bird ID group to see lots of hopeful people posting petite Canada geese). The two species regularly commingle, so sometimes a flock of those common parking lot birds will have the equivalent of a Pokémon shiny just hanging out in the middle of them.

How ridiculous and fun is that? I can never look at a big group of Canada geese without scrutinizing their ranks for an adorable little extremely rare cutie pie cackling goose. It reminds me a bit of mushroom harvesting minus the risk of death if you get it wrong

Some computer related jobs will periodically send you emails posing as phishing scams and if you open it you automatically have to take a web safety training seminar and I just think they should do that for tumblr except with reading comprehension

#how DARE you say tumblr should send me phishing emails

Someone fix this percentage

So this is a visual representation of “are the new users you’re changing the entire app and website layout/features for in the room with us right now”.