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im just a girl

@djarinsgf

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everything i've learned about personal growth, self-love, so far

  • as inside is outside

this is called the principle of correspondence, it is one of the universal laws (the law of attraction is not the only one that exists!) it is very important because many times we try to change our outside without first changing our inside, how we feel about ourselves, or the circumstances that surround us. just like how we feel, what we think we see reflected in the outside world. everything is a reflection of ourselves, which is why it is very important not to react negatively to circumstances without first asking ourselves what is not working inside of us that is making this happen?

  • get out of the role of the victim

it is no use for us to live pitying ourselves for the past, for what happened, for how we behaved, or how they were with us. Has victimization been working for you so far? no, it hasn't, so we have to get out of this role and take responsibility for our actions. we may have done wrong but at the time we did not know how to do it in a better way and all experiences, negative or positive, give us a learning experience. that bad thing that may have happened to you with someone else can help you to push yourself and transform your life.

  • forgiveness

related to the previous point, we must stop living in the past, that will only make us repeat the same circumstances, and attract the same type of people over and over again. we have to forgive ourselves first and then others, no matter the damage they may have caused us, we can not continue to live hating or with resentment towards other people.

holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned. buddha

  • no one can help you to improve, only you

the change is in you and this is very important, i, a therapist, anyone can give you guidelines on how to heal or improve your life but if you do not do your part to change nothing will change. there are no external means, everything is within you, and you have the power to change your life, yourself, and the circumstances that surround you. just ask yourself why there are so many people who go to therapy for years and continue the same or worse? because they have put all their power into someone external to them and believe that someone else will solve all their problems.

  • what you focus on expands

this is so simple but we don't seem to give it much importance as we always tend to focus on what we don't like and keep wondering why nothing is changing. if you focus on something you don't like you will keep attracting more of the same. if there is a situation that you don't like, focus on the positive of it, whether it is something about you, a circumstance or a person.

what you focus on with your thought and feeling is what you attract into your experience. rhonda byrne

  • goodbye to comparison

it is useless to compare ourselves with other people, we must understand that each one of us is different and we are in this world to live and create our own experiences. we also have to live our own lives and focus on ourselves. i think it is stupid to think that someone is better or worse than us because this is our life, what matters is us, not someone we don't know at all or if we do know them, they don't really contribute to us. anyway, we can learn from those people who inspire us to improve ourselves. remember that there is no one prettier, smarter, smarter, whatever than you, it's just your perspective and you can change it and focus all that on yourself.

  • we manifest our beliefs

you want to change in your life but nothing is changing? maybe it is because you are trying to change something external without changing yourself first (i refer to the first point of this post, the correspondence principle) i mean, if you keep having the same negative thoughts every day that will keep repeating itself in your daily experience. start replacing those negative thoughts with more positive ones and everything will start to change around you. if you want to manifest something and it is not manifesting ask yourself what your beliefs are about that subject and start affirming the opposite. if you want more money but you keep thinking that you are not worthy or that it is very difficult to get it, you are blocking that abundance from coming into your life, so in turn tell yourself that you are abundant, that money flows in your life and it is very easy to get it. and this is just an example, you can do it with anything. i think this point is very important, so keep it really present in your life, whatever you create in your life you have created it before in your mind.

  • stop reacting to what others do or think

i think this is so powerful and keeps referring back to the previous points because everything has a relationship. how much energy do we spend complaining about something that someone did that we didn't like or that seemed wrong to us? think that maybe that person didn't realize it or maybe they see it differently (that's why it's important to understand that everyone's perspective is different and doesn't mean it's right or wrong). it doesn't matter what happened but we should stop responding to what we don't like and give so much importance to what other people do and focus all that energy on us, on what we want to improve.

  • be kind to oneself

this is one of the most powerful and simple teachings at the same time. we have to stop criticizing ourselves (and of course others), stop judging ourselves for things we do or did and in turn, we have to start treating ourselves as the person we love the most in this world, with love and respect. instead of judging ourselves, and scolding ourselves for what we have done wrong, we have to reward ourselves for every little thing we do daily, this will give us a lot of confidence in ourselves and will increase our self-esteem.

  • we will not always be positive

we are human, we feel, we suffer, and there are circumstances external to us that we can not control so it is totally normal to have bad days or not feel good (in the case of women is also due to our cycle) so we can not pretend to be always in a good mood, but that does not mean we have to collapse at any difficulty. We can see the positive in every situation and continue to be grateful even on the grayest of days but don't beat yourself up for not always feeling your best, because it's normal. but we can change these states by doing things that make us feel good.

  • first you, then others

if you want to make a big change in your life and you are already being more conscious, even changing your mentality you will see that there are people who may leave, it's completely fine! they have already fulfilled their work in your life, nothing happens, there will always be someone better who is more in tune with who you are being right now and bring you much more than those who left. when we are in this process of change it is good to be alone, you have to know yourself, that is very important. We have to learn to spend time with ourselves, listening to our thoughts and what we feel in order to know what we really want. and the same goes for our self-love, first, we have to work on it to get everything else. we may start out wanting a new job or a new relationship but if we haven't changed ourselves we will continue to attract the same type of people or opportunities as before.

  • our new beliefs

i learned this from louise hay. she mentioned that she has a list of what her beliefs are and that is so helpful. it will help us to replace our old beliefs with new ones, the ones we want! it's so powerful. some of your new beliefs can be:

good things always happen to me i am a lucky girl/boy I am prosperous everything works out well for me

and i have learned much more during this journey of personal growth and I could continue sharing much more but i consider these to be the most important lessons, they are simple but powerful and my recommendation is that you reread them daily until they become part of your new beliefs because it will help you to understand much more.

being taken seriously

when it comes to debating or professional settings, if you want to be perceived as more put together, then heres my advice :)

mannerisms:

  • have good posture!
  • maintain good hygeine
  • look clean and put together
  • always have fresh breath and clean teeth
  • having a good scent to you always helps
  • make eye contact with people
  • speak in a clear tone
  • don’t raise your voice, be able to speak calmly (i’m talking about when you debate with people, yelling is just kinda rude and makes other people scared lol, also doesn’t look mature)
  • work on not interupting people, let other people talk!
  • walk with your head up high! this goes with posture, walk like you have a crown on your head :)
  • take care of yourself and work to better yourself

attitude:

  • educate yourself
  • be open minded
  • be self-aware about your short comings
  • know when to keep your mouth shut and when to not engage in conflict
  • stay out of drama
  • don’t let other people bring you down
  • always act confident
  • eliminate self-depricating humor
  • remember- bringing other people down is insecure behavior!
  • show respect and manners to other people
  • be kind to other people, give them compliments, smile
  • be open to other points of view, really listen to other people and reflect
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2023 reset guide

Glow up

  • 2023 vision board. Visualize your dream 2023 and write down your goals!
  • Daily Hot girl walks. No excuses, babes; let's get moving!
  • Reflecting on 2022. Look back at what you've accomplished and what you could have done differently.
  • Make a Bucketlist. Write down places you want to visit and things you want to do.
  • Extended self-care. Take some time to yourself to recover from the stressful holidays and get back on track. <3
  • Buy a good SPF. Do some research and find something that works for you!
  • Start Investing in yourself. Money, time, and energy. Put yourself first!
  • Annual check-ups. Make a dentist appointment, go to the optometrist etc...
  • Buy a Silk pillowcase. Protect your skin and hair!
  • Set clear boundaries. And make sure that people respect them!
  • Less screen time. Self-explanatory.
  • Manicure, lash lift, haircut. High maintenance to be low maintenance! ;)

Wellness

  • Daily vitamins. Visit a doctor to discuss which ones you should be taking for the best results.
  • Morning stretches. Wake up your body and drink some water!
  • Skin/hair care. It's time to find products that actually work for you.
  • Reading more literature. Set yourself a daily reading goal.
  • Planned grocery lists. Make a grocery list that aligns with your dietary needs and goals to make shopping less stressful. <3
  • Less coffee. Especially if you struggle with anxiety!!
  • More greens and protein. Let's give our body what it needs.
  • Journaling. Truly helps with overthinking!!
  • 8 hours of sleep. Beauty sleep. <3
  • Cooking for yourself. Such a cute form of daily self-care.
  • Yoga. Or just any low-impact exercises in general.

Deep cleaning

  • Organizing your closet. Only keep things that make you feel beautiful.
  • Budgeting. Check your bank account and plan ahead.
  • Clean your hairbrushes. Trust me...
  • Donating clothes. Donate the items that you don't wear anymore.
  • Clean your make-up brushes. The first step to clear skin!!
  • Fresh sheets. Wash your pillows too.
  • Charge your electronics. IPad, Mac, Camera etc...
  • Get rid of expired make-up and skincare. Step 2 to clear skin, lol.
  • Declutter stationary. No need to keep dried-out pens.
  • Delete old emails. I currently have 1840...
  • Delete unnecessary apps. Anything you don't need.
  • Clean your camera roll. Making some space for new memories! :)
  • Cut out toxic people. <3

Mindset

  • Pretty, smart, kind, and prioritising myself.
  • Positive affirmations!!
  • Your daily habits play a huge role in your mood/life. Be mindful, and take care of yourself.
  • It's okay to outgrow people!!
  • Decide what kind of life you actually want and start saying no to everything that won't get you there.
  • "I'm attracting opportunities that align with my dream life."
  • A girl who will do big things can't let small things bother her.
  • Honestly, reinvent yourself over and over again until you are satisfied with who you are.
  • Do you want to be comfortable, or do you want to grow?
  • "Am I doing this for me, or am I performing for others?"
  • very high standards. VERY HIGH STANDARDS.
  • Be obsessed with yourself.

2022 has been such a life-changing year for me, not only personally but also regarding my social media! As I already said on Twitter, I'm incredibly grateful for this little community that has formed this year, and I'm excited for all the things that lay ahead of us! I wish everyone a successful 2023 with many beautiful moments and lots of growth!!

✩‧₊*:・love ya ・:*₊‧✩

be the main character of your life, stop comparing yourself to others!

every time you compare yourself to another person you lose your power and give it to others.

  • be aware of your own value
  • the value you give to others, give to yourself multiplied!
  • if there is something you don't like about yourself try to change it from compassion and self-love, don't judge yourself for it, we all have the ability to change
  • recognize that comparing yourself with other people is something negative and prevents you from growing and evolving
  • you are the main character of your life, no one else, that's why it doesn't matter if you "believe" that someone else is more handsome or smarter than you, it's not, it's you, because it's your life, think about this every time you compare yourself
  • recognize when these thoughts come to your mind and focus in turn on something positive, something good about your day or something you like about yourself
  • don't compare chapter 20 of a person with chapter 3 of your life
  • focus on learning and not comparing yourself
  • turn comparison into admiration
  • be aware of the damage you are doing to yourself when you do this
  • write down everything you like about yourself and everything you would like to have or be
  • practice self-love every day, treat yourself with love
  • focus on you and your growth not on what others do
  • focus on what you like about yourself and not on what you don't-
  • recognize that you are the main character of your life, the life you are living right now is only lived by you so it doesn't matter how other people are or how they live their life, it doesn't hurt you, focus on you and your growth, you are unique and valuable you don't have to be like anyone else

some ways to practice self-love ( i will write another post on this)

  • forgive yourself
  • take care of your physical and mental health
  • avoid toxic people
  • connect to your feminine energy and make rest a priority when you need it
  • use positive affirmations every day
  • talk to yourself and treat yourself with love
  • do things that make you proud of you