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It's The Little Things In Life

@divinumconsilium

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kaijuno

In highschool I wrote a story about a middle-generation of stellar travelers. Their parents were born on earth and left as children, and the middle generation will not live long enough to see their destination. They live their entire lives on the ship and I wrote about them trying to find their place in everything. They will never know blue skies and warm beaches and open fields with warm breezes. They’ll never know birdsong or crickets or frogs. They’ll never hear the rain on the roof of a dreary day. I never could find the right way to end the story. I wanted it to be a happy ending, but I didn’t know how to do it.

I realize now that it was a book about me dealing with depression before I even knew it. Looking back at how blatant the projecting was, it’s obvious now. It wasn’t then.

In the story, the middle-generation people are lost. They’re apathetic. They’re just a placeholder. The only job they have is to keep the ship running, have kids, and die. As the middle generation of people began becoming adults, suicide rates were skyrocketing. Crime and drug rates were jumping. This generation was completely apathetic because they felt that they had no use.

In the story, a small group of people in the middle-generation create the Weather Project. They turn the ship into a terrarium. They make magnificent gardens and take the DNA of animals they took with them and recreate them and they make this cold, metal spaceship that they have to live their entire lives on into a home. They take what little they have and they break it and rearrange it into something beautiful. They take this radical idea and turn the ship into a wonderful jungle of trees and birds and sunshine.

And I realize now how much it reflects my state of mind as I transitioned from a child into an adult while dealing with depression. You always hear “it gets better” and “when you’re older things will be easier” and I was so sick of waiting for it to get better. I was in the middle-generation stage. And I was sick of it. I was so sick of waiting.

When I was in highschool I didn’t know how to end the story. I didn’t know how to have a happy ending. I didn’t have the life experience then to finish the story in a meaningful way. I didn’t know how to make it better for these middle-generation characters.

But now that I’m older, I’m learning. That if you sit and wait for things to get better, it never will. You have to take your life and break it apart and rearrange it into something beautiful. You have to make the cold metal ship into the garden that you deserve. You have to make your own meaning. You have to plant your own garden.

You have to teach yourself that being happy is not a radical idea.

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An absolutely stunning dagger with a leaf shaped blade, in which the tang appears to have been wrapped around to form the handle and joined again with the blade, then chiseled into the design of an oak branch with leaves and acorns, German, ca. 19th century, from Czerny’s International Auction House. I love this tremendously, and I wish I had the money to buy it (as of now, it is still for sale).

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things that made me stop wanting to die that require no effort whatsoever

  • change the color used to highlight text on your laptop
  • move the pictures on your wall
  • stack whatever clutter is in your room into piles even if you don’t have time to clean it all
  • slightly vary your commute, even just by one street
  • change where you sit and scroll aimlessly on your phone even if it’s only to the chair in your room instead of your bed
  • drink water or juice out of a wine glass in the morning because nothing is real
  • shower with the lights off, without music
  • buy $3 flowers at trader joe’s—they look bad next to the more expensive ones but they look so good in your room
  • start typing things you don’t post into your notes. your thoughts can be worth documenting even if you don’t deem them worth sharing
  • wake up super early just once. you don’t have to make it a habit it’s just extra satisfying to go to bed that night
  • listen to the entirety of your favorite album from 2015

Almost all of these are about variety. Humans need stimulation! We need enrichment! We literally cannot do the same thing every day!

The other day I was feeling miserable, so I hopped on a bus and rode it all the way back to where I’d started, and my brain, which had finally had some proper stimulation via new environments, was suddenly ready to go again!

This is why taking walks/drives and trying new hobbies are good for you! Don’t turn yourself into a sad zoo animal! You need some pumpkins to roll around in your enclosure!

  • if you have books, rearrange the nearest pile of unread ones (they’ll instantly look more appealing to you if they don’t sit in the same order all the time)
  • clean/tidy one of the flat surfaces in your room, even if you’re just chucking rubbish in the bin
  • choose a picture frame/ornament/decoration and move it to a new spot
  • change your bedsheets ahead of schedule
  • make yourself a special drink or snack just because you can
  • click around on Wikipedia until you find a fun topic to read up on
  • lay with your head at the foot of your bed and your feet at the headboard
  • go out specifically to get yourself a treat, or at least get yourself something nice when you have to run an errand
  • try a new blend of coffee or a new kind of tea
  • find a new way to do your hair
  • wear interesting socks as often as possible (whether it’s fandom or cute or the ugliest shit you can find)
  • buy an inexpensive craft kit and display the result (it’s fun if you’re able to write the date on it, so you’ll know exactly when you made it)
  • get a low-maintenance plant (especially one that’ll grow reasonably large and/or bloom) and watch it flourish
  • dig out that shirt/hat/item of clothing you’ve never/rarely worn and make a point to wear it at least once
  • eat a cookie straight after breakfast, or right before you get ready for bed, or ten minutes before dinner. Just eat it any time you “shouldn’t”
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“The obvious question you might come up with at this point is, “why can’t you just put out the fire?” That’s because of the incendiary nature of coal. In general, a coal fire is extremely difficult to deal with under the best circumstances. If you had all the resources in the world and a good deal of space to work, they can be impossible to put out. Aboard a ship in tight quarters, it gets even more difficult.

An example of the difficulties with a coal fire would be the coal fire in Centralia, Pennsylvania. This fire broke out in a mine in the Northeast United States and has proven impossible to put out. How impossible you ask? It’s been burning since May 27, 1962.”

Holy shit

“Another issue that has always caused confusion was the Titanic’s speed. It was running at full speed when crossing the Atlantic Ocean, even when there were warnings of icebergs in the area. There were rumors that the ship was trying to break some kind of speed record, but the Titanic was not built for speed. This mammoth ship was a luxury liner. Molony indicates that this could have been caused by the fire-fighting activities.

In order to fight the fire, the stokers had been shoveling the burning coal into furnaces to burn the fire away. If the stokers had been shoveling as much coal as possible that could be the reason for the speed of the ship. As excess coal was burnt, the engines would work harder, generating speed. The stokers had been shoveling coal into the furnaces nonstop for 3 days fighting the fire during the maiden voyage. Molony thinks this is the reason why the ship was going at full speed when it hit the iceberg.”

Wow that makes *so much sense.*

I saw this article and just assumed it was political satire. What the fuck.

Ditto. What the fuck.

( DuPage County Register, 26 Apr 1912, Fri, Page 7 - I found this in the Snopes article on the subject)

Dilleys’ report was in newspapers in 1912; how did this not get into the massive cultural memory of the Titanic? I’ve heard accounts of how it sunk at least 10 times and never about this.

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owlistic

Yeah the reason you’ve never heard of it was because there was a coverup after the sinking. I don’t remember the name of the documentary I watched, but it basically said that the Titanic’s sinking was entirely preventable, but the people in charge were more worried about their reputation and money. The fires in the bunkers was just part of the equation. They also only had just enough coal to get them to America because there was a coal miner strike at the time. So I think there was still the possibility of slowing down, but they were told not to because then they would need more coal, which was coal they didn’t have, to be able to make it to America. So they preferrred to risk maybe hitting an iceberg over certainly running out of fuel. Which is bad enough, but in addition, the fires in the bunkers caused a weakness in one of the bulkheads, which were the water tight walls meant to keep the ship afloat in case it took on water. This was reported and I think could have been fixed, but they were told basically to hide it and leave it alone. It’s now theorized that this is why it broke in half suddenly, the weakness gave way because it couldn’t hold under the pressure.

I think there were also some shoddy decisions made about the building of the exterior, but I don’t remember the details there.

But what REALLY infuriates me is that all of this was known. We have records about it. The fireman that’s quoted above gave hours of testimony on what happened, and dozens of people who worked on the ship did as well. But the people who made the ship and made these decisions never saw any repercussions because the judge in charge of the case was paid off. He looked at all the damning evidence against the owners and wrote it off as a terrible, unpreventable tragedy. This has remained the narrative to this day because history is written by those with money.

Avatar

“The obvious question you might come up with at this point is, “why can’t you just put out the fire?” That’s because of the incendiary nature of coal. In general, a coal fire is extremely difficult to deal with under the best circumstances. If you had all the resources in the world and a good deal of space to work, they can be impossible to put out. Aboard a ship in tight quarters, it gets even more difficult.

An example of the difficulties with a coal fire would be the coal fire in Centralia, Pennsylvania. This fire broke out in a mine in the Northeast United States and has proven impossible to put out. How impossible you ask? It’s been burning since May 27, 1962.”

Holy shit

“Another issue that has always caused confusion was the Titanic’s speed. It was running at full speed when crossing the Atlantic Ocean, even when there were warnings of icebergs in the area. There were rumors that the ship was trying to break some kind of speed record, but the Titanic was not built for speed. This mammoth ship was a luxury liner. Molony indicates that this could have been caused by the fire-fighting activities.

In order to fight the fire, the stokers had been shoveling the burning coal into furnaces to burn the fire away. If the stokers had been shoveling as much coal as possible that could be the reason for the speed of the ship. As excess coal was burnt, the engines would work harder, generating speed. The stokers had been shoveling coal into the furnaces nonstop for 3 days fighting the fire during the maiden voyage. Molony thinks this is the reason why the ship was going at full speed when it hit the iceberg.”

Wow that makes *so much sense.*

I saw this article and just assumed it was political satire. What the fuck.

Ditto. What the fuck.

( DuPage County Register, 26 Apr 1912, Fri, Page 7 - I found this in the Snopes article on the subject)

Dilleys’ report was in newspapers in 1912; how did this not get into the massive cultural memory of the Titanic? I’ve heard accounts of how it sunk at least 10 times and never about this.

Avatar
owlistic

Yeah the reason you’ve never heard of it was because there was a coverup after the sinking. I don’t remember the name of the documentary I watched, but it basically said that the Titanic’s sinking was entirely preventable, but the people in charge were more worried about their reputation and money. The fires in the bunkers was just part of the equation. They also only had just enough coal to get them to America because there was a coal miner strike at the time. So I think there was still the possibility of slowing down, but they were told not to because then they would need more coal, which was coal they didn’t have, to be able to make it to America. So they preferrred to risk maybe hitting an iceberg over certainly running out of fuel. Which is bad enough, but in addition, the fires in the bunkers caused a weakness in one of the bulkheads, which were the water tight walls meant to keep the ship afloat in case it took on water. This was reported and I think could have been fixed, but they were told basically to hide it and leave it alone. It’s now theorized that this is why it broke in half suddenly, the weakness gave way because it couldn’t hold under the pressure.

I think there were also some shoddy decisions made about the building of the exterior, but I don’t remember the details there.

But what REALLY infuriates me is that all of this was known. We have records about it. The fireman that’s quoted above gave hours of testimony on what happened, and dozens of people who worked on the ship did as well. But the people who made the ship and made these decisions never saw any repercussions because the judge in charge of the case was paid off. He looked at all the damning evidence against the owners and wrote it off as a terrible, unpreventable tragedy. This has remained the narrative to this day because history is written by those with money.

Avatar

listened to Bohemian Rhapsody today… i’m so very sorry

If this post gets 100 notes I’ll recreate the entire song through memes

OK so I’ll do my best to get this done soonish–it may be a week or two, but I’m doing it

My masterpiece… is complete.

op did not put in this much work for 160 notes

I don’t know who to tag… This is a fuckign masterpiece