💕 Rewriting their memories 💛

After all the important things have been said and tears have been gently dried, what if they just... try again? This is August's ρατreοn postcard print!

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The statue in Crowley’s flat. “it represents,” said the Production Designer, Michael Ralph, “Good and evil wrestling with evil triumphing.” “…are you certain that they’re wrestling?” I asked.

funniest thing that was confirmed in s2 is that crowley and aziraphale are both virgins, but for totally opposite reasons. aziraphale is a virgin for repressed christian reasons and crowley is a virgin because the repressed christian in question is the only one for him, and I think that's beautiful.

Isn't there a scene in this where they're in America and Aziraphale is trying to piece together the plot of a pornographic film he can only view in short bursts in preview because he doesn't want to/know how to pay for the whole thing?

This being here, looking for the plot in a porno:

Reblog this with a gif of what you think Crowley's reaction would be upon learning this. I'll go first:

The problem with that bit of plot was that it hinged on 1980s hotel pay per view technology, where it gave you two free minutes of whatever was pay per view for the TV, and every TV in every hotel had the same pay per view films every month. We loved the idea that Aziraphale was watching a hotel-edited soft porn movie (ie with most of the sex taken out) for the plot, two free out of sequence minutes at a time, and trying to build up the plot in his head as a way of understanding people, and he’d be convinced that the final missing two minutes would explain everything, when the month would change and a new film would replace the one he had been watching.

I don't want sex I want whatever weird centuries long courting ritual the male characters in Neil Gaiman works keep having

“I think I understand a whole lot better than you do”

There's lots of talk out there about working through trauma via dark fanfiction. I'm not saying anything against that - there's nothing wrong with it. But I do think there's an unfortunate implication being made in a lot of those posts. Accidentally or not, the implication being made is that trauma is the reason people enjoy dark content. That there needs to be a justification at all.

Guys, trauma is not the only reason to enjoy dead dove do not eat content. You don't need trauma to justify liking it. You don't need anything to justify liking it. You can just...like it. I get the point of those posts is to stop people from harping on others when they might be digging into said trauma, or harassing others for their coping methods, which is definitely wrong - but let's be clear in our intent and not alienate people that are just here for the fun of it. Let's not make people think they need a reason to enjoy what they do.

You don't need trauma to justify liking dark things. You can just like it and if that's all there is to it, that's perfectly okay.

horror movies, serial killer documentaries, splatterhouse-type games, etc - these are billion-dollar industries

there is a real, valid, profitable part of the human psyche that loves dark shit when it’s in a situation we can control

what do you think is the appeal of roller coasters? danger, controlled

i don’t give one single solitary shit what your particular dark fic itch is. seriously, i don’t care. it doesn’t matter. yes, even whatever super gross objectionable thing you just thought of - it literally doesn’t matter. unless real, live, non-hypothetical people are hurt in the making of a thing, that’s just how humans be. sometimes we gaze into the abyss, to see if we can handle it when the abyss gazes back.

it’s called catharsis, something that humans have understood since the ancient Greeks at the very least, and certain people on this website need to fuckin’ look that shit up

can’t believe we got a canonical fanfiction-flavored “oh…” moment of love realization from Crowley.

[tags via @impishtubist]

we should have listened when they literally told us he cant feel love

Aziraphale’s been feeling it this whole time (maybe that’s why he trusts Crowley so much and thinks he should be an angel again. surely Crowley falling was a mistake. surely one that loves his enemy so much is proof that he never should have fallen in the first place. he is, after all, a living embodiment of Jesus’ own words [“But I tell you who hear me, love your enemies” Luke 6:27-28])

i understand why he had to go drink a bottle of wine; he just realized Aziraphale’s been feeling it this entire time (or maybe that realization won’t hit him until later), and he just realized he’s been experiencing an emotion that lies cleanly in the realm of both humans and angels (is he more angel than demon? is he more human than either?). he’s having an identity and relationship crisis at the same time.

the repetition of Crowley saying, "i'm a demon, i lie" (white lies. little lies. he doesn't lie about stuff that actually matters) vs Aziraphale thinking he really does lie (about stuff that does matter, like not wanting to be an angel, like not being a good person, like not wanting forgiveness). they really are listening to each other but hearing something different. (aim for my mouth, shoot past my ear)

Cannot just drop the "aim for my mouth, shoot past my ear" so casually like you didn't just unravel another brilliant layer of good omens season 2

It makes so much sense I'm goiNG TO CRY

you really gotta trust someone to do a bullet catch. like you would trust everything they say and do and know, implicitly, that you’re safe in their hands. they trust each other so much— despite the fact that their “exactlies” are different “exactlies”. and it’s like they can only see that out of the corner of their eyes because when they look directly at it they’re blinded by something (love? devotion? loyalty? all of the above? who can say. it’s ineffable).

they put trust in each other over everything else, over hereditary enemies and disagreements about humanity and deeply coded ethereal programming. they trust each other despite everything telling them they shouldn’t, through bad moods and insults and breakups. even when it could lead to danger or destruction or death.

Aziraphale caught the bullet in the story of Job (he ate food offered by the snake in eden, trusting him even then, so early, somehow, to not drag him to hell), he caught it again in the 60s (he gives Crowley holy water despite everything telling him not to, he trusts him not to take the suicide pill), he catches it again and again (he trusts Crowley and raises the Antichrist. he trusts Crowley and stops armageddon. he trusts Crowley and swaps bodies and steps down into hell. he trusts Crowley. he trusts Crowley to save him every time). I could always rely on you, you could always rely on me.

so he takes the offer from Metatron, he trusts that Crowley will catch the bullet this time (trust me, trust me, trust me. i know what i’m doing here, let me save you for once). and sure enough the bullet hits the wall behind Crowley’s head but there’s no bullet in his mouth. nothing about it hits. they finally see that they’ve both been aiming at the wrong thing this whole time.

and just when you think it’s over and the magic trick is finished, Crowley levels the gun right back (these are their normal positions. something about it feels right. Aziraphale is very good at looking down the barrel of that gun because he trusts Crowley so very much), except this time the bullet doesn’t graze past his ear.

it hits him square in the mouth.

it's so funny that they're actually making shows gay now. Why do I even need to be here anymore I don't need made up scenarios they're out there kissing each other on the face on my actual tv screen. gonna pack up my little kerchief and stick with a chunk of cheese and piece of bread

We need to go back to using sailing ships full time like immediately. Yes it would take longer to get places but the Aesthetic is unmatched

Like there is nothing sexier hthan this

Can’t wait for OP to get scurvy

Are you under the impression that the ships themselves are what caused scurvy

Once again. Do you think this is the fault of the ships themselves

There are so many lovely fics and metas and pieces of art being made depicting how things will go when Aziraphale is Supreme Archangel, and I'm here for all of them but... does anyone else think there's no way that's actually happening? That in no world does the Metatron put the guy who stopped Armageddon 1.0 in charge of the Second Coming?

He's fucked, right? They just needed to get him on his own.

I'm barely active on Tumblr and I'm sure most of my followers aren't current anymore so this is just me tossing a thought into the void, but the whole 'Neil Gaiman's gaslighting the fandom about Aziracrow being explicitly romantic because of the vaguely opposing opinion he had on it in this interview 20 years ago' is absolutely insane to me

I don't even /remember/ things I said 20 years ago. The fact that people expect him to both a) remember, and b) either stick to those words or actively acknowledge 'hey it's been 20 years I've changed as a person and also here's an explanation on how for this very specific topic' and if he doesn't, he's maliciously gaslighting us!! is so unhinged.

What makes it even weirder is that this argument is being made mostly by book fans ie. older fans who should have the emotional maturity to not pitchfork OR pedestal celebrities......or, you know, use that as a weird opportunity to lord it over show-only fans as 'having been there first'. Like come on. Y'all need to chill out.

My coping mechanism for S2 apparently? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I haven’t draw a single line for about half a year, coming back to work with a portrait of Aziraphale was so inspiring and comforting, he had such an angelic aura in that precise frame from ep.2 that I couldn’t restrain myself from painting him (…and adding a non-existent earring as per usual, I know, I’m weak)

those first couple weeks after escaping a time loop have gotta be disorienting as all fuck. all those little cues that used to tell you what's about to happen are now triggers that cause you to brace for something that isn't coming. you have to relearn the permanence of death -- hell, you have reacquaint yourself with the entire concept of finality altogether. everything keeps changing but it never changes back and you keep having to remind yourself that this is normal. "it won't reset anymore," you echo to yourself, over and over and over, like a broken record, like you're still trapped in a loop, like someone who escaped the time loop but was doomed to bring it into the future with them

using the consumption of food to portray aziraphale and crowley's sexual desire for each other might be the best thing the adaptation has added. if you've got a quirky little 90s fantasy novel that's a little homophobically gay, making a screen adaptation that's exponentially gayer is one of the most important and necessary things you can do. all the more important if that book is based on christian narratives. the concept of sin is right there in front of you to play with, so why waste it? like, yes, the serpent of eden, the original tempter, will spend 6000 years introducing his morally scrupulous angel bestie to human pleasures. yes, the angel in question is a bit of a hedonist. they can indulge themselves far more than humans can, after all. and yes, they share meals together, over and over again. it's one of the only things they allow themselves to share together, out of fear, out of wanting to keep each other safe. yes, this is about gay desire.

Aziraphale lied Theory

First of all, this theory is not mine, its from @/doubleskk on Twitter and can be found HERE. Go show them some love! It's in Portuguese, so I'll do my best to translate it - blue texts are my personal additions!

This season, we have something very clear in Aziraphale's development arc: is his relationship with LIE. He lied to protect Job's children, and he lied he had performed a miracle to make Nina and Maggie fall in love. That's not counting other little lies, sprinkled throughout the season here and there.

We keep seeing Crowley say "I'm a demon, I lie", but in the big finale, we have Crowley saying the truth - the big truth, the one he has been avoiding for 6 thousand years.

All of this was to set the stage for the biggest lie of all: the lie he had to tell Crowley to fend him off and protect him.

When Metatron goes to buy the coffee, he asks Nina if people ask for death, as the name of her shop is "Give me a coffee, or give me death". What if that name is an allegory for the actual conversation between Metatron and Aziraphale?

Aziraphale may have been threatened. Either Azira goes back to heaven (coffee), or he and Crowley would have their existence erased from the Book of Life (death). So, to protect Crowley, Aziraphale had to invent a lie to make sure he got away. The Book of Life was namedropped a couple of times in the show, a Chekhov's gun that never went off - Neil is too good of a writer for that.

And Aziraphale knew that Crowley would be pissed if he agreed to go back to Heaven after everything that happened, and he knew that Crowley would never accept being an angel again. "But rescuing me makes him so happy" - Aziraphale had to make sure Crowley wouldn't realize he needed saving.

That's why he knew exactly what to say to mess with Crowley.

At 41:14 of episode 6, when Azira starts telling the (alleged) lie to Crowley, he becomes all flustered, moving his hands from side to side and stammering, SAME PATTERN as when he lies to the angels about having done the Nina and Maggie fall in love, in episode 2.

[This part really works better with 2 videos side by side, which you cannot do on tumblr, so if you want you can check them out here]

The sequence of him talking to Metatron at the table is nothing more than an enactment of his lie. The conversation didn't go like that, Aziraphale made everything up.

And when Crowley declares himself, Aziraphale starts shaking his head in despair: not now, don't tell me that now.

He also looks out the window as soon as the confession starts, as if he knows Metraton was watching him outside.

Then there's the kiss, Aziraphale falters for a moment, but he has to keep up with the lie and he knows he has to hurt Crowley on purpose. And after Crowley leaves, Aziraphale is MUST recover in seconds, because Metatron is coming back. Also notice that when Metatron comes back, he doesn't ask if Crowley agreed to go back to heaven or not. He just sends a "How did he take it?"

That is, there was never any choice, and for Metatron Aziraphale was only going to break the news that he was leaving. And Aziraphale had to invent a lie to the inmates to make sure Crowley stayed away from him.

This really is an interesting theory. The tone of Aziraphale talking to Metatron contrasted with the tone of Aziraphale talking to Crowley is jarring. He's trying to come across to Crowley as excited, but that's not what we got from him when he left Metatron at the cafe.

If he's been threatened with death for Crowley if he doesn't play ball, you can bet your britches he'll lie to Crowley and say things he knows will hurt him in order to push him away. He's done that multiple times in the past. That's when he SAYS "I forgive you", usually. He knows exactly how Crowley will take that.

I'm not sure I buy it but... It's interesting. Hmm.

"old friends" is an underrated relationship dynamic because it's such an innocent boring sounding term for what is usually some of the wildest shit imaginable. it's always like 'oh yeah we go way back, we have history' and then you find out that history includes sex, drugs, murder, divorce, war crimes and The Incident