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ahhhhhhhh

@distressedbeanpole

The only significant difference between heaven and hell is whether you enjoy what you're doing. Both consist of unlimited work to do and unlimited time to achieve it, all the difference is between whether you fucking love doing it or if you fucking hate it. Think about the chocolate guy. He seems so genuinely thrilled to do what he does. Imagine being in his position yourself. Having a whole kitchen and an insane amount of chocolate in front of you and being told like "hey craft a functional 1989 Ford Fiesta out of this. With all the screws and engine parts inside. Life-sized. Capucchino flavoured, but the lamps taste like black olives (but sweet, of course)."

And you're not allowed to leave before you figure out how to do that.

Tumblr Folklore Stories/Blogs Directory/Masterlist

There are so many great Tumblr Blog stories here! But things are best when organized! Here you are! I’m going to use Tumblr Blaze in a couple weeks to spread this to everyone, but if all of you can reblog this to everyone you know, we can spread the joys of Tumblr to EVERYONE!

  1. The God of Arepo (graphic novel 1 / 2 / 3) (ebook)
  2. The Monster of Sentan
  3. The Witch’s Cat
  4. Raise Both Children
  5. Stabby the Roomba (honorable mention)
  6. Cinderella Marries the Prince (comic)
  7. My Arch Nemesis Cynthia
  8. Pirates and Mermaid
  9. Eindred and the Witch
  10. The Demon King
  11. The Cornerwitch
  12. Grandmother Beetroot
  13. Apocalypse Daycare Worker
  14. Grandmother Accidentally Summons a Demon
  15. New Year Saga
  16. A Story About Changelings
  17. Ranger in the King’s Forest
  18. The Difference Between a Hare and a Rabbit
  19. Goblin Men (Canines)
  20. Faceblind Prince Charming and Cinderella
  21.  The human who died of radiation poisoning after repairing the spaceship
  22. The defeat of the wizard who made people choose how they’d be to be executed
  23. Doctors Without Borders
  24. The Queen with Three Cursed Children

Well, now they’re categorized.

wait so blood curses are passed on through blood...does this mean they count as an STD? do vampires inherit blood curses if their victims are a carrier? do adopted children also inherit blood curses or is it biological offspring only? if a father offends a witch and contracts a blood curse, would that pass down to his already-born children or only to any children born after-the-fact? i have questions which demand answers

I suggest that all options are possible, and it depends on the person doing the cursing. This can be either intentional, to fit the circumstances, or subconscious for maximum confusion.

Witch A: “I cursed that jerk good, and got anything even remotely childlike in his life. Even that car he loves so much keeps blowing tires now.”

Witch B: “I just dashed off the spell and didn’t think about it. Probably a lot of people in his family are going to have painful rashes, though.”

Vampire, with a red face and a sprained ankle: “Which if you do I have to blame for this?? Answer quickly, or you both die.”

*epic battle and/or slapstick, depending on the writer’s preference*

Cryptid of the Day: Pascagoula Elephant Men

Description: On October 11th, 1973, Charles Hickson and Calvin Parker claimed to have been abducted by aliens while fishing on the Pascagoula River. They described the aliens as five feet tall, pale white and three carrot like growths on its face.

You bored, or feeling artsy but don’t have any inspiration...? *updated!*

Do you need to distract yourself? Or are you simply bored? Here are some great websites to make the time pass.

Still haven’t found something that would float your boat? Try these:

Maybe none of these peeked your interest-maybe you’ve been wanting to create an o.c, but never really knew how to start-or you just enjoy making O.C’s….

This masterlist is to help you in making your own OCs….it can also apply to developing RP characters i suppose! (´ヮ`)!

How to Write Better OCs:

Character Development:

Need an Appearance idea?

Diversity

Mary Sue/Gary Stu

Villains

Relationships

ARCHETYPES

NAMES

APPEARANCE

DETAILS

Need Item names?

Other stuffs!

So much to try

Notice in the post below that the only named task that the OP struggled with is homework?

Now, people diagnosed with ADHD or similar disorders often do struggle with tasks that we might actually want to do, but almost always, the diagnosis is linked in everyone's mind to an inability to do homework.

But homework is fucking bullshit.

I really think it's absurd to ignore that fact when talking about how you complete tasks.

"Gosh, my kid seems to have a lot of trouble focusing on dull make-work which I force him to do for two hours every single day, why could this be?"

I spent literally as little time in school as I could and still graduate. As in, by my junior or senior year the principal sat me down and said, "If you skip anymore school we aren't going to be able to graduate you from High School."

And yet... When I bothered to go, I got good grades. I did generally quite well on tests and did eventually graduate. I'm quite proud of that as an act of self-mastery but it does raise the question:

Why was so much energy spent on trying to get me to go to school for all that time when I was demonstrably able to get the benefits with literal years less work than they wanted me to put in?

Why was so much time spent trying to devote those years to schoolwork when it simply wasn't necessary for me to learn?

Homework is a microcosm of that whole question. I always wanted to know,

"So, if I can skip 60% of the homework and still get an "A" on the test, why do you try to force me to do it?"

And to this day I have never gotten a good answer.

So: I saw no value in most of my homework and that hasn't changed to this day.

So, here's a pop quiz for the people wondering why their kids with diagnoses don't do their homework no matter what planning and techniques adults supply them with:

What would your kid have to do to spend less of their valuable time on homework?

"Well, if they just knuckled down and got it done..."

BZZT! WRONG! You get a "D-" on this test and I really hope you apply yourself more to the next one, you have so much potential...

If they "forget about it" then they have to do even less.

Now, of course that means that your kid is in a state of constant stress from avoidance. They are thinking, "Man, I'm going to get in so much trouble for not doing this, but I just can't seem to force myself to do it, and anyway I don't fucking want to."

You think that they'd be better off spending two stressful hours on their homework and then being able to relax the rest of the time. They feel like they'll be happier not doing it at all and feeling a vague undercurrent of stress as they go about their leisure time.

What's the third option if they want to spend less time on homework?

Oh, nothing? Is it nothing whatsoever until they graduate from school?

This is infuriatingly counter-productive. We spend literal years teaching ADHD kids that avoidance and procrastination are the only ways to exert control over their lives in the face of unpleasant situations imposed from outside.

Now, in point of fact this is absolutely not the case for adult life, which offers a plethora of ways to reduce pointless make-work imposed on you by outside authorities and, in any case, rarely bothers to impose two hours per day of unpaid, unrewarding make-work on people anyway.

How much of the difficulty ADHD people have with cleaning the toilet or whatever is because psychologically, they still think of it as homework? Cleaning the toilet is not homework; it rewards you with a clean toilet at the end and it's entirely possible to defer it, or hire someone else to do it, or find shortcuts. But if the major psychological task of your childhood is homework, maybe it might take quite a long time to think that there could even be anything aside from homework?

Man greeted by Otter Pup in the water 

This is Wild Frank (or Frank de la Jungla) and this man is a fucking hero. He’s been involved in a lot of legal battles because he makes a habit of stealing fucking tigers from billionaires in Thailand and helping them get rehabilitation to get back to the wild. Governments hate him, poachers hate him, but in my country this guy is the face of animal freedom.

 Pantheons in fantasy will almost always be something like “fire deity, water deity, light deity, EVIL deity, GREAT MOTHER” while an average bronze age city’s pantheon was s/t like “deity personifying the city, god everyone has to treat as the main one because his city got geopolitically lucky, three or so personifications of main local sources of income, a nearby mountain, half a dozen incoherent minor deities (at least one is the result of some misspelling a name), deified branding iron”

The way angels work in Dee's metaphysics are fascinatingly modular and recursive. A Watchtower is a cohesive being made up of dozens of lesser being, which themselves are made of dozens of lesser beings. The trumpeters are the Watchtowers as beings, but they are also beings that hold office within the watchtowers as an organizational structure, and beings that live in the watchtowers as a place.

It's kinda like if each individual organ system in your body had a semi-autonamous form of intelligence. Like your cardiovascular system in of itself can't understand what it's like to be a full human, but you can understand what it's like to be a cardiovascular system. You are also, however, aware that you are an organ system in some larger body whose qualia you cannot understand.

Also, a lot of authors read Dee's work as if the angels are disdainful of worldly desires but tbh there's ABSOLUTELY a reading here that the angels literally do not understand the physical world.

Dee and Kelley regularly beg the angels for money, and the angels respond along the lines of "do not treat us as you would your worldlings" which is probably them saying "we don't give a shit about money we have an apocalypse to avoid."

BUT

There is a distinct sense that human/angel communication is imperfect. Dee even occasionally corrects Uriel's Latin grammar. (in reality this is clearly the result of Kelley's Latin not being as good as Dee's, but there's interesting theological implications here. Play with me in the space.)

So I'm proposing a reading that the angels are only pretending to understand what money is. It's something they can't really comprehend. It's like death, or creativity. They understand logically what it means to humans but they have no concept of it's actually weight on our decision processes because they fundamentally cannot put themselves in our shoes.

Actually I think the ONLY thing the angels understand is sin. It's the only axis of comprehension they have for human agency.

Like Michael doesn't understand why Dee hasn't built the table yet, but he knows that humans can sin, and the material world is full of sin. Michael doesn't understand material scarcity, or the physical distance between Dee and the gold he needs to finish the Sigillum Dei Aemeth, but he understands that humans are capable of working against the word of god.

So when Dee says "we haven't had the time or the money to build the table." Michael can't comprehend the idea of wanting to do something, but not being able. Michael thinks "You are doing this on purpose because your sin has made you vulnerable to trickery."

In Michaels mind, humans react one of two ways:

  1. Doing everything I told you immediately and without question
  2. Sin
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new game idea, building off of gubat banwa's THUNDERING TACTICS SYSTEM. ULTRAVIOLENCE AT THE END OF TIME [UV@TEOT] is very angry and very grungy and its hard distorted electric guitar riffs playing alongside light nujabes flutes and everyone is trying to kill the gods (capitalists)

extreme buddhacore aesthetics mixed with slipstream dirty grungy cyberpunk a la Digital Devil Saga where you play as Black Flame Wielding God Devouring Devil Fucking Martial Artists

DECAPITATE THE GODHEAD

Character Generation is based off an axis of your Zodiac-Tarot (known as KARMIC BURDEN) and MARTIAL COMMUNES (the ones that safeguard your consciousness so you can die multiple times, and also teach you and give you equipment)

Communes are inherently anarchist who steal from HEAVEN to get you equipped. They need Pros like you, so you fight in the grueling gladiatorial matches to get CLOUT, the universal currency. You will never survive without them

character advancement is based on your CLOUT, a la Runes or Souls in Souls-like. its both currency and XP, because you need CLOUT to learn new moves and get new augs. getting new shit is integral to gaining a new following

MARTIAL COMMUNES are slick philosopher-martial art communities that piece together esoteric martial arts. Each commune has a signature martial art that you learn. So far there's THE HEAD OF MARX, TWIN TRUNG ELEPHANTS, SAKAY'S SHADOW FLITTING STYLE, LIVING BODY CANVAS, FLOATING HUAYAN VIDEOMANCY, and THE DIAMOND BODY OF CHRIST-KRISHNA

k6bd is a huge huge inspo of course but unlike k6bd which is a bit more gnostic-buddhist UV@TEOT is more full on Esoteric Vajrayana Buddhism, Shingon Buddhism and an intense Techno-Animism, here's some aesthetic pegs

also no playable cops. they're souls chained to physical demons

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Strawberry Mousse Cake

Saving this lovely recipe I found from Pinterest because I really don’t want to lose this one.

• 3 ½ ounces or 100 grams strawberries •  2 ounces or 55 grams raspberries •  Mint, to garnish •  ½ cup or 1.4 deciliter yogurt •  4 tablespoons granulated sugar •  Strained strawberries •  1 teaspoon lemon juice •  ½ tablespoon powdered gelatin (soaked in 1 ½ tablespoons of water and placed in the microwave for a few seconds to dissolve) •  ½ cup or 1.4 deciliter heavy cream •  5 ounces or 140 grams strawberries •  2 ½ tablespoons granulated sugar • ¾ cup or 2.3 deciliter water •  ½ tablespoon powdered gelatin (soaked in 1 ½ tablespoons of water)

The duchy was founded - unofficially - when some enterprising little thief had read through the royal lawbooks, looking for loopholes like a worm trying to wriggle its way through a brick, and had discovered that while the king's men could follow a man across mountains, forests, and plains, they were not granted the same jurisdiction over bodies of water.

This had started the popular idea amongst the kingdom's criminal underbelly that if a thief took a boat and paddled out into the middle of a pond, the king's men technically couldn't do anything about it.

Of course, the realist interjected, it'd never work; if you tried it, then you'd be one thief in the middle of a pond, with all those guards waiting on the shore for you to either wash up with the flotsam or die of starvation.

Still, the idea was alluring. It hung around the popular consciousness as a thought, an untested hypothesis, an interesting fact.

It would've remained so if it wasn't for Edmund Snood, an enterprising young thief who hadn't quite enterprised an escape plan, and with the guard closing behind him had grabbed a rowboat and cast himself out into the largest of the kingdom's lakes so fast that he had skipped like a thrown stone.

And as Edmund fended off the banks and the horrible, grinning, patient faces of the guards waiting for him there, word had spread across the kingdom. Soon enough, thieves and thugs were all paddling up to the little rowboat with a sandwich and a few words of encouragement, attaboy, Eddie, show them who's boss, eh? We're all rooting for you back home!

And after four days, the duchy was founded - unofficially - when Jack "Jackal" Jaseroque had lashed his rowboat to Edmund's and took over the duty of paddling while Edmund took the first sleep he had in half a week.

After that, another boat lashed together with the two. Then another. Then four more. A lean-to shelter was built, torn down, and rebuilt bigger. Walkways were tied together. And then in a wave of tidal force, the thieves and thugs, bandits and brigands, vandals and vagabonds of the kingdom all sailed out to the little assemblage. Leather bladders were inflated to help with bouyancy. Ramshackle halls were raised. A strict rotation of paddling duty was arranged to fend off the banks.

And the tune of the realist had changed - they can't be watching all the shores, right? So if we just spend a couple days here, keep an eye out, and head out again once we've spotted a gap, then who cares about a little bit of paddling in the meantime, right?

The duchy was founded - officially - when Edmund Snood took on the role of dukedom to universal acclaim. This was also when the name of the little commune had been agreed on, as the makeshift structure bobbed gently on the water's surface.

It was called the Robber Duchy.

More Types Of Comments

What does this do?

Document what the function does. Doxygen/Python docstrings, and JavaDoc are usually this kind of comment.

draw_arrow(A: Point2D, B: Point2D, length: float, width: float) -> None draws an arrow from A to B. The arrow starts at A. If the distance between A and B is less than length, the arrow is drawn to end at B, otherwise it starts at A and points towards B, with length of length.

You see this kind of code most often in library code, and still frequently but less often in application code.

How does this work

Document how the function does it. This is not the same as documenting what it does, but sometimes the "how" is part of the contract of the function. If a function is called sort(), then there is less "how" in the contract than when it is called bubble_sort().

These comments are usually simple comments, /* like this */, #or like this. They don't show up in generated documentation, and are only used when people actually touch the code.

They sometimes contain references to papers, Wikipedia, or textbooks, to help with understanding the code.

/* bail on error before allocating frobnicator */
// all coordinates relative to per-sprite origin
/* Implementation follows naming scheme from Klapfenheimer et. al, 2005 */

These types of comments should not state the obvious, like how a for-loop works, but only the tricky bits.

Why is this here

Document architectural decisions. I already made a post about this. This is more common in application code, but can also be found in library code. Instead of documenting the function itself, explain where it's called from, and why it is here and not somewhere else. This type of comment is especially important, because it's what you can't infer from the implementation.

How to use this

Not everything that the API allows is a good idea. I expanded on this here.

Sometimes the API contract is more than just a function call, and it requires the caller to behave in a certain way. Some require the caller to check for certain error codes, some require the caller to check for the availability of certain subsystems or back-ends, or to initialise a system before using it.

In this case,

Don't touch

The most important, most contentious type of comment. Document something because a problem is obvious and readily apparent from just looking at the code, but that's actually false, and the code is correct.

/* This check seems redundant, but it's left this way for clarity and ease of refactoring. * Expect this code to move around, but the preconditions to remain the same */
/* We cannot count from zero, we have to go in reverse order */
/* This is necessary because of a library quirk that only happens on Mac OS. Your test suite is lying to you */
/* Static analysis will warn you this line is superfluous, but if we take this away, static analysis will complain about a case that can never happen and CI will not allow us to merge */
// Dear programmer: // When I wrote this code, only god and // I knew how it worked. // Now, only god knows it! // // Therefore, if you are trying to optimize // this routine and it fails (most surely), // please increase this counter as a // warning for the next person: // // total hours wasted here = 254 //
/* Implementation follows naming scheme from Klapfenheimer et. al, 2005 */

It's not just to describe how the code works and why, but to tell future programmers "I know what you're probably thinking, but I thought about that, too. Trust me on this one, I tried it and it does not work."