walking into someone's house for the first time and saying "love what you've done with the place since I last visited" to immediately create a somewhat unsettling vibe

all my werewolves are getting this quirk. karl barks if you will

EA employees cry for help

I place Megamind No Bitches in attack position and end my turn

Her stupid ass

your twenties are Also about discovering that you're not a bad person in all the ways you believed you were but you're a bad person in completely new and exciting ways

oh so now I’m “gay” just because I have a lot of gay thoughts and gay feelings?

me when i was straight in 7th grade

~ coffeetoned on ig

manifest reaching your goals, achieving your dream grades, finishing the books on your tbr list and an endless supply of aesthetic stationary

i think advertisement should be a crime

In light of tumblrs stupid new banned tags I will continue doing just whatever I want

as long as hole isn't banned we'll be okay

#[redacted] help

in a world where the internet is becoming increasingly commodified and sanitized, being horny on main constitutes revolitionary praxis

name him. name your son

Gormondo

Big Sexy

NSFW will be tagged as #lemon sorta NSFW is #Lime Weird fet shit/ extreme NSFW is #orange reblog to spread awareness that we’re back on the citrus scale

Let’s get back to basics. Kinda funny we rename things like we’re outlaws that try to cover up there crimes!

why have i never known about orange

Orange was originally like…a PG-13 warning. You would tag orange for fics that stopped at making out. What you’re thinking of is “Grapefruit”. The scale goes as such: Orange (PG-13, basically making out like I said) - Lime (Non-explicit sexual actions, think an M rated fic instead of NC-17) - Lemon (explicit, graphic sex, the NC-17 fics) - Grapefruit (hardcore/weird stuff)

Reblogging for the citrus correction of orange and grapefruit

It is so weird seeing people rediscover the fandom of my youth. I haven’t used the citrus scale since I last lied about being 18.

This makes me feel old. 

crazy how that stuff works

Me when I stutter on the phone during a business call

Me when i ask for real spicy and not white people spicy

Me when I step in a puddle and I feel the water penetrate my socks

Me when my friend’s 90 pound dog stomps on my nuts

Me when h– wait, what?

Oh! I’m sorry! I misheard. I thought you said “Me when my friend’s dog stomps on my 90 pound nuts.”

If i had 90 pound nuts do you think i’d be here? Clowning in this shit hole? I’d have a house of gold. A car of jewels. Lingerie forged with meteorite and silver coins. Dont be so naieve

life back then mustv been crazy people just thought whatever