I think the funniest dynamic for arranged-marriage royalty would be a queen who came here 100% prepared to murder her future husband and rule as a widow queen in her own right, only to discover that the king is autistic as hell and responds to her wish to rule with "oh thank god please do, I don't want to be bothered by these people. I can just tell them to go bother you instead, if you really want that. I've got beetles I wanted to study."

"I'm really not good at it," the king admits with horrible, aching grief. The country is in disarray. Peasants go hungry. Nobles trade power amongst themselves with impunity.

So the queen takes over and ruthlessly sets things to rights. Fires several generals, hangs nobles, redirects wealth to the peasantry. It isn't long before the first assassination attempt, which she expected.

She did not expect her docile, beetle-obsessed husband to go absolutely feral and fling himself at the assassins wielding a pair of sharp knives.

Also, the beetles are intended to attack and kill a certain type of invasive worm that has been killing off the gourd and potato crops for decades. He’s been trying since he was a child to crossbreed several native species to be hardier and better diggers. When he finally gets it right it’s all over for you bitches (“you bitches” being mass starvation of subsistence farmers).

Mad Scientist and the Head of HR ass dynamic

1850s Tumblr Dashboard Simulator

👸🏻 girlbossladyjane Follow

It really makes me sick to see people giving money to penny weeklies when Franklin's expedition STILL has not been found 😭 There are good men out there trapped in unimaginable temperatures and literally all that's needed is a little more funding for another rescue mission yet all you guys seem to care about are your vulgar little stories...

🧔🏻‍♂️ queerqueg Follow

the franklin expedition is dead as hell

👸🏻 girlbossladyjane Follow

Disgraceful thing to say but I'd expect nothing more from a M*lville fan

10,558 notes

👨🏻‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏻 hartgrindisreal

Sorry for posting so much about Tom Gradgrind/James Harthouse from Hard Times lately. It turns out that I was getting arsenic poisoning from my wallpaper? Anyway I took a seaside stroll and I'm normal now. Check your walls y'all

#whyyy did i assume they were committing unlawful actions together like where did i even get that from lol #hard times isn't even that good by dickens standards tbh

659 notes

🎨 asherbrowndurand

Just painted this

2 notes

ss-arctic-girlie-deactivated18540927

RIP Napoleon... you may have been unable to conquer Alexander's Russia but you sure as hell conquered Alexander's bed

🖼️ preraphaelitebro Follow

HERITAGE POST

📝 shakespearesforehead Follow

How does this have less than 100k notes you could literally not avoid this post back in the 20s lol

82,170 notes

🌄 loyalromantic Follow

poets just aren't dying young in mysterious water-related incidents like they used to :/

#as useless and degenerative as i find 'the living poets' and i'm glad we're finally moving on from them #i have to agree with op in this respect

6,884 notes

🎀 thefopdiaries Follow

I finally got a daguerreotype of myself ^_^ Porcelain urn for scaling

📜 bartlebi-thescrivener

i think i hauve consumption

112 notes

🐋 whaler4life

They found oil in the ground??? WTF. THIS IS LITERALLY THE WORSTTTT. FUCK MY LIFE FOR REAL THIS TIME

11 notes

🌿 naturesnaturalist Follow

I swear this website has 0 reading comprehension skills. Darwin NEVER claimed we "evolved" from apes like if one of you guys actually bothered to open his new book you'll see all his arguments are backed up by evidence. He actually makes a lot of sense

#sure there's nuance like i don't fully agree with all of it #but his general theory of natural selection seems pretty sound imo

56 notes

🤵🏻‍♂️ byronicherotournament Follow

🙈 butchbronte Follow

Of course these are the finalists lmao this website is so predictable. Anyway vote Heathcliff if you dont i'm going to assume you're a phrenologist

📖 sapphichelenburns Follow

It's not problematic to acknowledge the fact that Heathcliff was a brute like he literally killed dogs in case you forgot. #rochestersweep

🙈 butchbronte Follow

I love the implication here that Rochester never did anything cruel either. He literally locked his wife in the attic and lied to Jane about it 😭 like that was a pretty significant thing that happened

📖 sapphichelenburns Follow

And? God forbid women do anything

#why'd you have to pit two bad bitches against each other #anyway i'm not attracted to men but still went with rochester #bc in terms of living quarters thornfield hall > wuthering heights easily

8,027 notes

👨🏻‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏻 hartgrindisreal

Not the Russian tsar dying immediately after hartgrind became canon

#i know dickens hasn't technically confirmed it yet but like. SOMETHING was strongly implied ok #see: my previous post #dickensposting

522 notes

👨🏻‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏻 hartgrindisreal

LORD HELP ME. THE BODY LANGUAGE. THE WAY THEY'RE LOOKING AT EACH OTHER. AHHHHHH

#this installment!!! im-- #dickensposting #i can't fucking cope #dickens wants to KILL us he wants us DEAD....

2,309 notes

⭐️ newamerican

Hi guys sorry I haven't been posting lately it's been so difficult getting to California 💀 I'm finally here now though just need to find a pickaxe and soon I'll be digging! :-) wish me luck lol

#gold #gold rush #gold rush grind #california #adventure

0 notes

Acting advice by Tom Hiddleston

run-on sentences aren't real btw, that's a lie made up by loser control freaks who feel the need to stifle my reading speed with stop signs (a.k.a. "."); but i'm a woman of yield signs (,) and rolling stops (;) <- i accidentally made a pussy

excruciatingly ironic for them to suddenly remember that loki is bisexual and genderfluid when denying lokius like okay fair enough he doesn't fancy mobius what men does he like then? how does his gender affect his story? oh you hadn't thought about that? right and we'll never explore it? okay well anyway i think he'd probably fall for the first dilf who told him he could be something good if he tried, you know because of his entire fucking life story

Loki S2 as tweets:

bonus:

guys I’ve never suffered so much for a tv show what the fuck do I do

OH OKAY

Mobius was like "I can fix him" and actually did that 👁️👄👁️

Loki + tumblr [119/?]

Three-parter 👇💖

These again but its just Lokius cuz I accidentally only screen-shotted quotes related to them 🫠

like the first half of the episode i was so happy and impressed i was giggling, loki was giving his all, he fucking learned physics and all that quantum temporal loom stuff like??? he is just a silly little guy doing silly little things to save the multiverse and then well... that happened and i have no reason to smile anymore

”we used Loki and Mobius’s platonic friendship to combat toxic masculinity!”

no no no, you used it as queerbait.

“we used Sylki to show that not all relationships are perfect!”

no no no, you used it as a way to pretend abuse is okay and passable as girlboss behavior.

natalie holt i could kiss you in the mouth

hey don't cry loki became yggdrasil and it's a fitting end to his narrative because remember when odin told him his birthright was to die and now he's the tree of life and sure all loki's ever actually wanted was someone to love and accept him unconditionally and mobius did that and now they're separated for eternity and loki will watch mobius from a distance for the rest of his life never getting to touch him or be with him hey i said don't cry why are you crying

From S1E1 we know that every word Loki has ever said was recorded, even the “what?” he said at the TVA after being asked to sign the document. One on Ones are also recorded, like we saw on Ravonna’s tempad and the Loki interrogation in the War Room. Even the conversations of Ravonna and HWR at the citadel were recorded.

That means the the TVA and the Citadel can be seen and read from the TVA files. This means that every word, every choice, every branched timeline, every rewind and fast forward is in Loki’s variant file.

And all Mobius has to do is look at it. And he will know everything.

gay people can never say ily it's always gotta be some shit like letting time pass in the timeline that rests in the palm of your lover's hand hoping his eternal loneliness is lessened by even a fraction while he sacrifices himself forever so you and yours can live freely

the problem with reading and writing leading to a strong vocabulary is that you tend to know the vibe of words instead of their meanings.

if I used this word in a sentence, would it make sense? absolutely. if you asked me what it meant, could I tell you? absolutely not.

and he has a throne and a crown that he never wanted and he is alone and he is forever enslaved as the one who rules the time but he did it for love, that's why it is going to be bearable, he got the power to manipulate time because he loved his friends so much he lieterally manifested a new superpower and he sacrificed himself because he understands better than anyone else how it feels to loose free will and he loved them, you hear me? he loved them, he became a god of time because of his devotion to those he loved

I don't think that marvel will ever be able to write anything more devastating than this

Loki sits upon the throne, determined, alone.

The Watcher: What are you doing?

Loki: Protecting the multiverse. I wove the strands.

The Watcher: Yes.

Loki:

The Watcher:

Loki: What?

The Watcher: Well, it looks like it's finished.

Loki: But I have to remain alone, guarding it.

The Watcher: Who said that?

Loki: I guess... I did?

The Watcher: Hm. How very Loki of you. Guard it from what? There's nothing out here. He Who Remains can't reach what you have created.

Loki: I don't know!

A pause.

Loki: Well, what do you suggest I do???

The Watcher: Anything you want.

Loki: Oh.

The throne sits empty, with a card that reads: Out To Lunch.