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Slytherin From Narnia

@disneyprincesssinhogwarts

Lives in Erebor
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sorry we caught your boyfriend cheating on you with the pillsbury doughboy. said he couldn’t resist that amazing ass, drawing him in the with tantalizing smell of vanilla exact. yeah your boyfriend’s leaving you for him. my condolences

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lmao i just love bagginshield fics where thorin is trying so hard to woo his burglar but he fails at every turn bc bilbo is like he's attractive but why is he like that?!

balin is shaking his head in disappointment. he knows thorin has learned better manners than that

dwalin is cackling like a fiend watching his closest friend lose what few wits he had left about him. when he isn't getting after nori of course

you all think fili and kili are trying to set them up but they don't even know what's going on fr. they too busy putting rocks in bedrolls

bifur hopes they let themselves find happiness together. he's a true romantic

bofur doesn't miss his king's death glares when he's close to bilbo, though he pretends to. he thinks it's bloody hilarious

bombur is kinda jealous cuz the hobbit is a little cuties. but he can't say that out loud bc he doesn't want to be receiving the same looks as bofur

ori thinks bilbo feels just as strongly about his king as his king feels about bilbo. he just doesn't want to admit it

nori is obviously in charge of the betting pool. and he's obviously crazy about dwalin and loves yanking his chain

dori doesn't care. he literally has his hands full trying to keep nori away from dwalin and ori away from fili

oin can see what his king sees in the burglar, quick and clever as the hobbit is, but he hopes they don't aggravate their wounds during any... strenuous activities

gloin doesn't see all the looks between his king and their burglar bc he's too busy admiring the countenances of his wife and son in his locket. how he misses them

Unpopular opinion: Bilbo is the one with all the bad bed habits, and Thorin is about ready to rip his hair out at night having to deal with it. Yes, I will elaborate.

Thorin has been living on the road for almost 150 years. That has probably made him a light sleeper, and the scene where Fili and Kili try to convince Bilbo there are orcs out there, and he immediately wakes up with a jolt kind of proves this. I think that’s way too long for the comforts of Erebor to erase. 

Meanwhile, Bilbo has been living alone…for a long time with all the comforts he can afford (which is basically anything he wants). I bet he snores and he hogs the covers and he mumbles in his sleep and he flops all night long. He’s not had to compromise any of those points for someone else so why would he? Sure, he was irritated with Gloin’s snoring on the quest, but I take that as a sort of “Princess and the Pea” moment. Bilbo can’t really, fully sleep anywhere unless it’s on a nice, pillowy, goose-feather mattress with silken sheets of the highest thread count he can afford.

So imagine the first night in Erebor where they do sleep together. Thorin has traveled with Bilbo all this time, he knows Bilbo is a relatively easy sleep partner. Only now Bilbo has his comforts again, and he rolls to the middle of the bed, pulling the covers along with him. He grumbles in his sleep, he stretches out like a cat, kicking Thorin at different points (and always right when Thorin is finally asleep), and he snores right in Thorin’s ear. Because that’s another thing he’s come to discover is Bilbo likes to bury his nose in Thorin’s neck to keep warm at night, and now a damp spot is forming from the condensation that is rather uncomfortable. 

Bilbo wakes up that morning having had the best sleep since Bag End. And Thorin is wondering if he can actually get used to it, or if he needs to talk Bilbo into separate beds…