bc sometimes basic analogies help:
imagine having red hair and not having a name for red. imagine being the only redhead in a small town, where no one knows that red hair is a thing that exists. so you grow up being told your hair is just “rusty brown” or “strawberry blonde.” and even though that doesn’t feel right, you learn not to say anything. because even if other people can also tell those labels don’t quite fit, they aren’t about to create a label just for you. after all, it works just fine for everyone else. and when you think about it, you have things in common with brunettes and blondes. so maybe you are just making. a fuss.
then one day you learn people in other towns are claiming to have red hair. you learn this, in fact, because people around you are laughing at them, because it is such a nonsensical thing, for people to pretend to have red hair. because everyone knows, that’s not a real thing. otherwise they would have seen it already.
but while people laugh, you stand very still, in shock, because you never knew there were other people. you thought you were the only one, which meant you weren’t real.
so you find out more about these people, people who might be like you, who have all shades of red hair and call themselves redheads. you read their words and look at their photos and it’s all very familiar. and slowly you start confiding in people around you.
you tell them: “you know how hair has always been a weird shade? well it turns out it’s not weird, there’s a name for it.” and some of these people believe you, and some don’t really understand, because “it just looks like a different shade of brown to me.” and some people say you’re making it up, and some people think that maybe you should just dye it brown instead of making such a fuss. and it seems everyone has an opinion on your hair, and on whether or not it exists, and on whether or not it should even be mentioned in polite conversation.
and the kick of it is, you can point to your hair, which is right there on your head, for everyone to see. and you can say “how can I possibly not exist, look at me.”
but reality doesn’t matter to people who have already decided other colors don’t exist.
