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Disappointed

@disappointed12

History student | Done with US-centrism♡♡
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....about that post going around again saying "hetalia isn't real sweaty :))" yeah dipshit anyone with a fucking brain cell knows that hetalia is not real but this take is one dimensional and incredibly tone deaf considering the nature of this fandom.

Having the liberty to participate in a fandom and create content does not absolve you from criticism; Freedom to be creative within a fandom is not freedom from tactfulness or good judgement. Especially within a country personification fandom.

You can cry "hetalia isn't real" all you want in order to deflect and belittle people who have to deal with discrimination by people in the fandom but it's very telling that these sort of posts usually come from people who's nations aren't targeted when it comes to this sort of crap.

Hetalia isn't real, so you can draw racist caricatures and write racist fanfics? Hetalia isn't real, so you can romanticise colonisation? Hetalia isn't real, so you can participate in historical revisionism? Hetalia isn't real, so you can excuse imperialism?

Maybe you can aim your "hetalia isn't real :))" garbage at people who blorbify the likes of Japan and Russia and America so much that they excuse actual Japanese, Russian, and American imperialism. Maybe you can aim your "hetalia isn't real" horseshit at people who use hetalia to showcase their prejudiced biases at certain groups.

If you think I'm joking, I've seen a certified Russia blorbifier post something saying "Go Ivan!" in regards to a news article about the invasion of Ukraine. I've seen people say that Japanese imperialism wasn't that bad because they blorbify Japan so much (Filipino here, if you think that please go fuck yourself!) I've seen people who criticise American imperialism get called vatniks/Russian agents by people who blorbify hetalia America.

Instead of telling people who are tired of dealing with this shit that they should get over it because hetalia isn't real, maybe go and tell the historical revisionists, imperialism apologists and downright racists to keep their trash out of the fandom, because you know. Hetalia isn't real.

Anonymous asked:

If you're still taking requests, please how would England react when he finds out his male s/o needs age regression as a therapy to help with ptsd ? (Basically sucking a baby bottle and sleeping)

(HWS England x Reader) Age Regressor S/O Reaction!

(Masculine) Scenario ~ A/N this is just a reaction thing, but im willing to do headcanons too!!!

this account IS A SAFE SPACE for age regressors. (i am not one but my boyfriend is!! also i am new to all of this, so correct me if i say anything uncomfortable or incorrect!)

Trigger Warning: Slightly disparaging self thoughts, but that's it!

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please avoid myrddin-wylt/comradevo

myrddin-wylt/comradevo has been repeatedly racist, antisemitic, and sinophobic. When challenged by people from the affected communities regarding their harmful rhetoric, they have repeatedly dismissed these people as 1) poor representations of the community and/or 2) manipulative trolls/false flag operations before attempting to reframe the narrative on their blog to their control. Their overconfidence in their own ability to educate others on subjects with which they have no firsthand experience has caused them to make inappropriate and ignorant comments about the politics of other countries, to the point of unintentionally championing authoritarian regimes.

We would like to draw attention to this behaviour to warn other Hetalia fans so that they can be avoided, and ask everyone to reflect on why such a pattern of racist, antisemitic behaviour has been tolerated, unprobed and unnoticed for such a long time in the fandom. While it is true that everyone should curate their own fandom experiences, such a principle only holds as long as people do not act in ways that replicate real life oppression. Minorities do not have to curate away people who are replicating hurt/abuse against them in fandom spaces, and have every right to confront people who do so. Additionally, given that myrddin has made all of these posts publicly, we are holding them accountable in public, and not in private.

Racism

response to “Wasian South Korea” apology In December 2022, a blogger, who will be unnamed here as it is irrelevant to the purpose of the document, received an ask about a fanfiction which made the modern day nation of South Korea the offspring of North Korea and the United States. The blogger in question received the ask positively and came up with her own list of headcanons expanding upon this idea.It wasn’t until around May that some of the document writers came across this post and found it, alongside some of the ideas espoused in the post and the original fanfiction, to be extremely problematic. One of the writers of the document, luyous, reached out to the blogger via a series of private asks, proof of which can be found here, though the OP argues that they never received the asks. These went unanswered until June 14, when another one of the doc writers, kimetsunozushi69, directly reblogged the post with her thoughts and calling the headcanons problematic, which can be found here. The blogger’s first response was to block kimetsunozushi69; this fact is disputed by the blogger and Myrddin, but the doc writers had sufficient evidence to suspect that kimetsunozushi69 was blocked. Because of this suspicion, peonycats, a notably bigger blog than kimetsunozushi69, reblogged their reblog with additional commentary. It was only after this point that the original blogger apologised and took down the post in question.

Because of all of these reasons, and the general impression that the post was only taken down and an apology was given because a bigger blog got involved, the blogger’s apology was not accepted by the relevant parties, who were all ESEA. It was then that comradevo, otherwise known as Myrddin-Wylt, jumped in to start defending the blogger. Testimony from Peonycats: “Frankly, in this situation, it shouldn’t matter what reasons we had to not accept (blogger)‘s apology. Myrddin-wylt, who is White American, is the last person who gets to have any say on whether or not ESEA individuals should accept an apology for perpetuating false narratives and bigotry about them.” Frustrated by Myrddin’s dismissal of ESEA concerns, irithnova, a Southeast Asian,vented on her blog about Myrddin’s dismissiveness and lack of understanding for all the publicly available reasons why not all parties affected accepted the OP’s apology. An exchange followed in which Myrddin used anti-SEAsian stereotypes of poverty, underdevelopment, and backwardness/savagery/primitiveness against irithnova, attacking irithnova’s literacy level and reading comprehension. Tumblr: Link

It can be seen that Myrddin used aggressive rhetoric against both irithnova and kimetsunozushi69/thepianistblogsbasedonhumanities, who are both POC, but when serica-e, a white person, defended them and made many of their points, they were notably more civil to him. When questioned on this, Myrddin argued that serica-e “directly and plainly and sincerely explained” the issue “without self-justification”, implicitly contrasting him against kimetsunozushi69/ thepianistblogsbasedonhumanities and irithnova.

Serica-e is someone whose country was not affected by American imperialist violence, or the racism and orientalism the original headcanons perpetuated against ESEA; expecting irithnova and kimetsunozueshi69 to speak with the same measured tone as serica-e when speaking with an aggressive white person berating them for not accepting an apology directed towards ESEA is little more than tone-policing. By this point, the parties involved in this were extremely frustrated at how Myrddin was involving themselves in a conflict to defend (however unintentional) racism and imperialism, and when contacted by other victims of Myrddin’s racism, collaborated to create this document.

The writers of this document would like to acknowledge though the use of “lolcow” can be seen as offensive due to its origins on 4chan and derogatory meaning, they would also like to make the following points: 

  1. The word was used by an ESL speaker who had only heard it to mean an individual who is “milked for laughs,” and was not aware of its bodyshaming connotations, thus it was never intended to insult the blogger’s appearance.
  2. Using a problematic term once does not make POC’s anger at someone misrepresenting them through pernicious false narratives any less valid, nor does it make it then okay to lob racist and bigoted abuse at them for refusing to accept an apology for the harm caused.

Myrddin’s focus on tone-policing is reflected in how, while making a few token acknowledgements that OP’s post was wrong and that their apology was not unwarranted, they spend the majority of their posts and activity policing how POC involved reacted to said apology and attacking them viciously for their responses. They reframed POC expressing their anger and hurt at an inadequate apology that did not address their concerns as ‘trolls sensing “blood in the water,”’ portraying the victims as aggressors.

Testimony from irithnova: “This demonstrates how racially privileged people are so quick to turn upon minorities when they express their anger and hurt aggressively, rather than focusing on why they’re angry.”

Following these exchanges, Myrddin took it upon themself to make some posts about the incident on their blog. Here, they described multiple people coming to kimetsunozushi69’s side against the blogger as a “Zerg rush” and implied their actions were “trolling.” Myrddin also claimed that even if “(they) agree with your argument” but continues to fight, their “goal is now to just piss you off because (they) personally don’t like you.” They are, again, much more concerned about the responses of people who have been hurt by the OP’s post and initial suspected lack of response, instead of the fact that OP had made a racist, imperialist post

Once again, as someone not ESEA or ever affected by American Imperialism, Myrddin doesn’t have any right to decide how POC should react to their oppression and bigotry directed towards them. Myrddin is openly admitting to trying to punish and make the lives of POC harder because they don’t like how they went about it and didn’t forgive the original blogger for justified reasons.

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In the comments of the first link, Myrddin admits to behaving “mean-spirited” and acting as a “troll” and “asshole” themself, an admission of engaging in the discussion in bad faith.

Additionally, they also dismiss (and frankly whitewash) this group of POC as “Puritan Evangelicals” and refer to their actions as “dog-piling” and “manipulation tactics.” 

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Afterwards, myrddin began making posts demonstrating interest in Korean-US relations, as well as reblogging posts from a Korean Uzbek blogger criticising OP’s post and praising it. This is part of a well-established pattern, where Myrddin will attack people who disagree with them on an issue directly related to their communities, then afterwards, demonstrated effort to learn about said issue to signal how ‘nuanced and open’ they are and how they are demonstrating the right way to teach and talk about a situation… an insincere, performative effort, after silencing the people who have to live that situation and its consequences, dismissing victims and members as ‘bad representatives of their communities who reacted inappropriately.’

By doing this, they control the narrative of marginalised peoples’ histories, rather than allowing marginalised people to speak for themselves.

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Testimony from tianshiisdead: “To POC, arguing about racism and commenting on the spreading of harmful stereotypes and rhetoric, it’s because it’s the same rhetoric that plagues us irl and makes society dangerous for us, because it’s bigoted and cruel and makes it difficult to exist in online spaces when it follows us here too. But for many white people it’s literally just a way to prove intellectual superiority. It’s just ‘matching wits’ or ‘power play’ or 'winning drama’, our original concerns are lost, if we don’t immediately forgive and forget then we’re unfair and whiny, if we argue with them then we’re pushing too far, if we have slightly less than pleasing language then we’re a mob. For us this is a serious issue based on how behaviour like this normalises racism and creates an atmosphere we’re we are afraid to speak up if things are deeply offensive for fear of being accused of being whiny/pushy/'accusing people of racism’ (which is often framed as being worse than racism), for them it’s laughing at us from afar as they treat us like lab rats to play with. Like somehow name calling is worse than making insanely racist posts that no one calls out because the general fandom is not in the blast range and therefore not affected, and the ones who are affected can’t speak up without being accused of causing drama? ‘I never insulted someone’s body/appearance so there’s that’ is craaazy when you spent an evening mockingly talking down to and insulting the English/intellect abilities of a Southeast Asian, and then turning around and being polite to a white person making the same point backing them up. Also, the tone policing is crazy haha especially considering the tone wrt criticising the original post has always been polite from the beginning, when it was brought up privately, and the only thing ‘under fire’ is the lying and shifting of blame.”

defence of other creator’s islamophobia and transphobia

After another creator was revealed to have transphobic and Islamophobic sentiments (who will be referred to as Ukrainian creator for this section, for reasons later elaborated), Myrddin once again took to framing POC’s rightful public concern as “shit stirring fan behavior” and “harassment and smear campaigns” by fandom puritans. (Link1) (Link2) (Link3

Testimony from Peonycats: “I’m not going to be educated by someone who has repeatedly harassed minorities and marginalised groups on ‘what does and does not help marginalised groups.’”

In a now deleted post, Myrddin attempted to completely retell what happened with the unspecified creator, who happens to be Ukrainian, talking about how their “first language isn’t English” and “hasn’t had the privilege to learn the years of social activism.” 

It should be noted that the writers of this document are pro-Ukraine and condemn Russia’s illegal invasion and wholesale slaughter of Ukrainian civilians. However, this is part of a much larger pattern of Myrddin disregarding voices from minority communities in favour of Ukrainian voices/the “Ukraine cause.” Myrddin has repeatedly utilised the Ukraine conflict in topics where it is completely irrelevant (to be elaborated upon later in this post). The creator’s background as a war refugee fleeing invasion is irrelevant to their repeated statements of sinophobia, islamophobia, transphobia, none of which they have disavowed at the writing of this document. When members of communities who are affected by such sentiments dare to speak up against a voice who happens to be Ukrainian, Myrddin puts their voices under much harsher scrutiny, while the Ukrainian voice expressing such prejudices is given tremendous benefit of the doubt, such as English not being their first language, not understanding social justice rhetoric, etc.

The writers of this document were also some of the members to call out the Ukrainian creator, and would like to make it clear that at no point did they encourage the harassment or sending of violent/similar threats towards the Ukrainian creator in question, even going so far to explicitly warn against doing so multiple times.

When the unspecified creator involved was called out for sinophobia, they promptly accused one of the writers of being a Chinese nationalist, and assumed that said writer would be enraged by a Uyghur OC (which they then drew) due to said nationalism, despite them never having expressed pro-CCP sentiments. After Myrddin reblogged their art of Uyghur, an anon sent Myrddin an ask mentioning the creator’s Islamophobia and transphobia. Myrddin reacted harshly to this ask, assuming that the anon was accusing the Ukrainian creator in bad faith, being a “troll” and “toxic pissant”.

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Myrddin would then proceed to make posts about the Uyghur people and demonstrate an interest in creating and playing a Uyghur OC in a game.

Becoming publicly interested in the Uyghurs because of a spite OC against someone assumed to be a Chinese nationalist because they are Chinese endorses the creator’s sinophobic behaviour. It is also offensive to the Uyghurs and their genocide and incredibly performative to only speak up for them when you have issues with someone you think would be offended by any defense of or interest in them. 

Argentina

Aside from their racism against East and Southeast Asians, Myrddin has also made inappropriate and racist comments against Argentinians, as well as drawing false equivalence between the United Kingdom and Argentina as colonial states. Their behaviour of hijacking the conversation after a confrontation on the topic will also be repeated here. 

The writers of the document do not intend to weigh in on the Falklands territorial dispute between Argentina and Britain. Our focus is on the racism that Myrddin exhibited when Argentinians disagreed with their views, and racism against the other side is always a disproportionate and inappropriate response in political debates

In May 2023, Myrddin received an anonymous ask complaining about a creator who implied the Falklands was part of Argentina, and made a few posts on the topic siding with the UK on the Falklands territorial dispute. 

In response to an ask they got challenging them on the Falklands, Myrddin made a post claiming that everyone living south of the equator had “brainrot” and stated that the only country south of the equator that wasn’t “insane” was Australia. Considering the southern hemisphere is primarily dominated by people of colour and non-western countries, and that the only exception that Myrddin, a white American, makes for this assertion is Australia, a primarily white, Western country, this statement comes off as intensely racist and denigrating of the mental faculties of POC and non-Western individuals.

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An anonymous individual sent in an ask to Myrddin calling out this language. Myrddin again, puts them down, and even goes on to state that they knew this anonymous ask came from, presumably, the same person who challenged them on the Falklands (referred to as the “Latam Anon”) because of their poor and inaccurate grammar. Once again, Myrddin is otherizing ESL speakers, and it should not be difficult to see how singling out the anonymous individuals that use poor grammar and assuming from that grammar that they are 1) the same person 2) that the second anonymous person is from Latin America, is racist and bigoted, especially when it’s coming from a White Texan. Here, Myrddin denigrates the intelligence of non-Western individuals based off English proficiency, under the guise of “putting down Argentina nationalists.”

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An Argentine individual, who wishes to remain anonymous, received an ask about Myrddin’s denigration of Southern Hemisphere countries, and called out Myrddin’s statement for being (intentionally or not) racist and bigoted. Myrddin responds to this by arguing that not all non-Western countries were below the Southern Hemisphere, therefore making their statement somehow acceptable. Again - when Myrddin states explicitly that there’s “one (1) country south of the equator that isn’t insane”, and that country is Australia, one of the only white dominated states in the Southern Hemisphere, it comes off, at best, as insensitive and ignorant of how the vast majority of countries in the Southern Hemisphere are non-Western, and racism at worst.

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Furthermore, Myrddin goes on to equivocate Argentina, a former Spanish colony, with Great Britain, which remains a globe-spanning imperial power to this day. Argentina may be a white dominated society, but it is still not considered part of the West and has also been affected by Western intervention and invasion, thus it is facetious to compare it to the UK in terms of damage. This is not meant to put down the historical and continuing harm Argentina continues to perpetuate against its indigenous and African population, but there’s a drastic difference in scale between these two countries (Britain having repressed colonial populations and sown the conditions for future ethnic conflict and oppression worldwide in multiple countries today), and trying to argue the colonial, imperialist legacies of these two countries are anywhere close to each other is in bad faith and patently false.

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Following this exchange, Myrddin began learning about the brutalisation of indigenous and Afro-Argentines, presenting themselves as an authority on some parts of the topic by answering questions about it and compiling several reading lists on the treatment of Argentine minorities. This was done via the educational, almost condescending tone they speak with to the anonymous individual who sent them an ask on Argentina, them Myrddin noting how their reading list got the seal of approval from an Argentinean (virtue signalling again), and how they assume they have enough authority to vet and assess which readings on the genocide of Afro-Argentines and Indigenous people are accurate enough to form a reading list on.

[Screenshots of the reading lists have been truncated for brevity].

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Again, we do not intend to weigh in on the Falklands territorial dispute. However, regardless of opinion on the Falklands Islands, it doesn’t justify the act of ridiculing (at least) an entire nation as “brain-rotted” and dismissing all Argentine voices disagreeing with you, before immediately presenting yourself as the unbiased expert on all things Argentina and historical.

Testimony from a LatAm mutual: it NEEDS to be acknowledged that Argentina’s history is bloody, and that colorism is a major problem in virtually all LatAm countries, just as it is in the US. But the way Myrddin was so eager to use Argentina’s history as an opportunity to insult the entire Global South, somehow giving Australia a free pass, then declaring themselves some kind of spokesperson on LatAm history, is a perfect example of White Leftism at its worst. Myrddin even flaunted the fact that they could dig up Spanish-language sources as if this is some great feat in the age of the internet. It is all too often that White USAmericans seem very eager to be vitriolic towards White LatAm folks in a way that they are not vitriolic towards their White US peers. It reeks of unexamined bias against Spanish-speaking communities, and against the Global South as a whole. This is absolutely not about Argentina being somehow immune to crit, it is about the double standard that Myrddin has shown. They’ve been repeatedly far more permissive regarding missteps from folks who are not from the Global South (see the excuses made for the racism and islamophobia from an Eastern European user) than they have been of communities that don’t align with their pet cause.

Testimony from Kimetsunozushi69: As someone born and raised in Spain who interacted and talk daily share with Hispanic speakers from Spain and Latin America, we tend to agree that we are fairly worried when people tend to ignore and brush off the clear history of violence and discrimination that hispanos suffer, it is especially hard because I do agree that, as someone who suffered racism in Spain as a EAsian, there is no denying that many Hispanic speaking countries have a big problem with racism and colourism, but to use our oppression, the oppression of POCs by White Latinos and Spaniards, as a way to look down on the later and also to look down on Spanish speaking countries is problematic, especially because Myrddin is from the US, and the US is infamous for its anti-hispanic policies in society and law, many latinos feel uncomfortable with the US talking down about the conditions of their countries because the US has massive power and influence over Latin America, and also the clear racialisation of the US society against white hispanics and spaniards compared to white people with germanic and british ancestry.

Antisemitism

Myrddin has also been antisemitic. In response to a Jewish person’s criticism of said antisemitism, they have employed antisemitic canards, accusing them of being a 4chan false flag antisemitic operation. 

In February 2022, a Jewish individual, who will be referred to as “anonymous Jewish Individual” for the rest of the document, expressed discomfort with Myrddin calling Scholz a “Nazi,” as it’s throwing around a very loaded term and reducing its weight, thus contributing to Jews speaking about their oppression not being taken seriously.

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Myrddin reacted aggressively to this correction, and immediately accused the anonymous Jewish individual of having internalised anti-semitism for simply criticising how they used the term Nazi, as well as not caring about Eastern European Jews, despite the fact that the anonymous Jewish individual is a Russo-German Jew. As a non Jew, Myrddin has no right to be policing how a Jew feels about how non-Jews use the term “Nazi.”

Myrddin would go on to theorise that this anonymous Jewish individual was in fact, faking being Jewish and was only trying to stir up trouble (for being uncomfortable with the way a non-Jewish person is throwing around the term ‘Nazi’), pointing to their spelling of antisemitism versus anti-semitism.

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Additionally, they would go on to analyse the original ask, calling it “top-tier manipulation,” and speculate that they are a “Kremlin contractor.” As we have established, this is part of a much larger pattern of Myrddin dismissing the complaints of minorities who don’t agree with them as simply “manipulation.”

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The following are testimony from the anonymous Jewish individual and a Jewish mutual of the writers.

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Testimony from another Jewish mutual: “I also had a bad experience with Myrddin’s antisemitism - I had originally followed them because their takes appeared nuanced at first glance but if I had known this was their response to a Jewish anon, I never would have engaged. I had gently informed Myrddin that their wording was a common unintentional form of soft Holocaust denial, and I kept it in the comments section of their post because I did not want it to be a public dragging, just a heads-up. Myrddin screencapped me to mock me, accused me of manipulating them and playing the victim, linked me the wikipedia article for “reductio ad Hitlerum” and called me a cunt.

As for these accusations of the above anon faking being Jewish: the hyphen debate is not the shibboleth myrddin thinks it is. Plenty of Jews still use the hyphen, it’s largely regional and generational. I don’t use the hyphen myself, but it’s nowhere near being an example of the false-flagging activity they’re documenting in their “info post” about it. False-flagging accusations are a heavy thing to accuse someone of, and when it’s coming from someone who isn’t Jewish, it’s a textbook example of the antisemitic trope of “fabricating or exaggerating antisemitism” and in my personal experience, actual falseflaggers can usually be identified by other things that you really have to be actively involved in Jewish spaces to recognize. These things include misuse/misunderstanding of Yiddish (such as grammar and syntax errors), discussion of Jewish topics in terms that no Jewish person would actually use (but many Christians would), and they largely go undetected because comprising 0.2% of the global population means 99.8% of the world has had little or zero exposure to us.

Myrddin even admitted in a past post that their exposure to Jewish people is minimal and they therefore have limited ability to identify antisemitism unless it’s overt. Honestly this post of theirs about how antisemitism manifests itself in leftist circles is overall correct. So if they are aware of this, why do they think they are incapable of unwittingly perpetuating it themself? This is exactly what Myrddin did when they accused someone of faking being Jewish, and when they accused me of playing the victim because I didn’t appreciate that they joked about receiving reparations from Germany. If they knew even the basic minimum on the subject they would realize they were playing into classic tropes. Myrddin has no real exposure to Jewish spaces and dialogue and therefore no place to speak with any authority on whether or not they can accurately identify a falseflagger. Furthermore, to address the “it’s not just about youuuuu” edit they added - while it is absolutely true that there were other victims, no group was targeted, tracked, registered, and exterminated to the extent, or even in the same manner, that Jews and Romani and Sinti were. I encourage anyone reading this to seek out and listen to Jewish and Romani queer and disabled voices, who will say the same. Queer identity was feared because it was seen as a Jewish threat. For someone who claims to know so much about how antisemitism manifests itself on the Left, they are incredibly ignorant about one of the most common forms this takes: the “all lives matter” treatment of the Holocaust in Leftist circles.”

Alongside Myrddin’s anti-semitism, this is part of a much larger pattern of behavior of Myrddin employing the plight of Ukrainians as a tool to silence minorities. Whenever someone speaks from a relevant minority perspective on ukraine-related topics or simply against a Ukrainian voice, Myrddin proceeds to attack and speak over that minority. In the latter case, even when the topic is completely unrelated to their nationality or the war in Ukraine, myrddin drags in the Ukraine to invalidate those minorities and even implies that these minorities are somehow privileged.

Testimony from luyous: “Coming from a non-Ukrainian, this is completely inappropriate behavior, and to be completely honest, it’s depressingly similar to how the western mainstream has covered the Ukraine conflict compared to other conflicts and voices, such as Afghanistan, Yemen, Palestine, etc.”

Sinophobia

In the first incident two anonymous individuals both write to Myrddin about feeling ashamed in their countries, Brazil and China. In isolation, these posts could be shrugged off, but these drastically different responses to very similar questions about feeling shame about one’s country, placed within the larger pattern of myrddin’s behaviour and rhetoric about China, indicate prejudices at play.

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Testimony from Luyous: “Why does Myrddin express empathy for how the Brazil anon is ashamed of their country and talk about how they (Myrddin) is also ashamed of the United States, but the China Anon gets none of that? Myrddin doesn’t attempt to draw the same connections of country misdeeds and crimes between the United States and China like they do for the United States and Brazil, implies in the tags such attempts to do so would be “whataboutism.” While every country has its crimes, and China is a hegemonic power with more than its share of crimes, the fact that Myrddin can express “oh same” @ Brazil anon but refuses to do so for China anon and implies that:

1) Yes, you should be ashamed of your country.
2) Any attempts to “oh same” between China and the United States are an attempt to detract from China’s misdeeds versus Brazil.

These are all reflective of a double standard between the crimes of Brazil and China, indicative of a larger pattern of Myrddin’s inability to criticise China on the same terms as other nations.”

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year hare affair

Year Hare Affair” is a far-right Chinese nationalist cartoon which Myrddin has posted about. Myrddin has repeatedly referenced this cartoon primarily popular amongst Chinese nationalists and not the general Chinese population to determine how Chinese people in general act and feel about geopolitics.

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The doc’s writers, many of whom are Chinese, find Myrddin’s behaviour distasteful at best and to have nationalist undertones at worst. It’s galling to see Americans like Myrddin smugly make memes about the US-China tensions while it’s primarily the Chinese American and Chinese Western diaspora who suffer the consequences of such rising tensions. Chinese people are extremely racialized and treated poorly by both North American society and government. White Americans, however, are not oppressed and are not uniquely mistreated by their government, and even have privileges in China as white expatriates. It’s just flatly false for Americans to act like they’re the underdog oppressed by China and throw their lot in with countries like Vietnam which have been mistreated by China. Additionally, this rhetoric ignores how Chinese people are brutalised in the west because such rhetoric has been normalised in the mainstream; is making a few memes that don’t change anything politically really worth contributing to grandmas getting bludgeoned on the streets?

Testimony from Peonycats: “In the words of another ESEA individual I spoke to about this topic, it’s very easy for White Westerners who will never be hurt by the escalating tensions between the West and China to go ‘C’mon Xi’ and goad said tensions on.”

Testimony from Tianshiisdead: “From the perspective of a muslim Chinese ethnic minority who’s lived in China and in the west (North America), Myrddin’s takes are honestly really harmful and the sort of subtle politically worded sinophobia that flies under the radar because it’s also championed by news media in the west and any opposition will be met with accusations of either being a wumao/genocide denier/totalitarian apologist (for left wing) or anti-american/traitor (for right wing), but these sorts of sentiments directly contribute to getting Chinese people (and Chinese adjacent/passing people) beaten and killed, as seen by the spike in hate crimes in recent years. I think there’s a sort of smugness and aloofness that permeates her posts on China, this idea that she’s not punching down but rather spectating a sports game or even punching up, a 'spunky’ feeling to her wording that honestly feels very gross, these are serious issues both being addressed in her posts and caused by her wording, and her distance from the violence as a white American is very clear imo. Like when she says 'cmon Xi!’ or whatever like it’s not people’s lives and the wellbeing of entire countries at stake… also a lot of the rhetoric leans dangerously close into absolving America for me, because she literally keeps posting about how China aggression wah wah China is being rude to America again wahhhh like America is Not The Victim of whatever China’s doing, and has its own history of oppression/exploitation of Chinese people and is currently the main force shit stirring in the region for its own purposes tbh. The sort of 'spunkiness’ vibe comes out when she mocks China, which I don’t think is appropriate given she’s a white American in a country where Chinese people are brutalized for both racial and political reasons, and also again, given the fact that America is Not the Victim and therefore her shit slinging at China can not in any way be construed as 'punching up’. The way she talks about Hetalia China rubs me the wrong way as well because like… okay Hetalia nation-tans do often reflect their gov but they are not ONLY their gov and given how Chinese people and culture are often conflated with their gov irl even in situations when they are the ones being hurt/oppressed most and treated accordingly, it’s just bad vibes all around when she often fluidly moves in between talking about Hetalia China and China’s gov actions irl.

Also, like, can I say as someone from an ethnic minority group that is on and off the target of suppression and has had family hurt by that suppression, Myrddin’s posting justifies in many ways its treatment of China due to Chinese government policy, but it just reeks of a white westerner cheering for blood while watching us get brutalized like a spectator sport, it’s pretty sickening lol not necessarily related to sinophobia but. like your (random white westerner’s) sinophobic ranting about china’s gov not only doesn’t help us minorities but also gets us racialized and killed when we move to the west for our own safety…”

spreading false narratives

Though not as egregious as harassing and demeaning minorities for speaking about their own oppression, Myrddin has also made some statements that end up white-washing less than savoury government regimes. During the dispute about the Falklands, Myrddin brought up Hong Kong as an example of another land dispute involving the British but was resolved without military intervention. However, this is ignoring the complexity of Hong Kong’s handover and also ironically repeats pro-CCP talking points:

1) A region being inhabited by majority ethnic Chinese does not justify PRC control of a territory; this is literally rhetoric used by the CCP to justify control over Hong Kong.

2) Poor taste for Myrddin, someone who is not Hong Konger, to be justifying Hong Kong’s handover and to be characterising it as ‘well-done’ in contrast to the Falklands dispute in the wake of international coverage of the Hong Kong protests.

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Myrddin also called the far right-wing government of Poland “sexy,” something which given their history of interactions with Jewish individuals, was found to be in poor taste, at best.

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Imgur Links: 1 2 

The following is what the anonymous Jewish individual has to say about the Poland praising post: 1

conclusion

The authors would like to remind everyone not to harass Myrddin. Precipitating violent/death threats and anon hate against Myrddin or other racists in fandom is not the intent of this callout, and the writers would strongly condemn any attempts to do so. Rather, we would like everyone to become more aware of these racist behaviours and ask you to take a stand against it whenever you see it happening, both in fandom and outside of it.

We would also ask the Hetalia fandom to reflect: what does it say about the fandom that Myrddin has been allowed to continue participating and actively make content in the fandom for so long, even as they come into so many conflicts with minority fans over a period of several months? Why is it that a racist has an established circle of friends and followers in the fandom? Why does Myrddin feel entitled to defend multiple instances of racism from other Hetalia fans?

Are we fostering an atmosphere of tolerance for racists in fandom, such that they feel empowered to continue participating, while minorities in fandom are forced out?

And ultimately, what can we do to create environments that ethnic and religious minorities feel comfortable existing in?

Thank you!

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I want to add my two cents about my experiences with Myrddin, as well as clear up some things about the “Wasian South Korea” incident from weeks ago.

FIRST: How self-centered and entitled is it for someone to get upset that an apology not directed for you and never meant for you is not accepted by a group of people that does not include you.

We refused to accept OP’s first apology because, among other reasons:

1) Our previous, repeated attempts to reach out to the OP without escalating the conflict went ignored (leading to one of us getting blocked) until the bigger blogs got involved, making it seem less genuine.
2) That the apology still called a fanfiction that referred to South Korea as “yellow” and is a thinly veiled retelling of the orientalist and racist story “Madame Butterfly” as “well explored.”

How *dare* you reduce this, all of this, to fandom puritanism, to “dogpiling,” to “abusers” using “manipulation tactics.”

How did you ever think it was appropriate for you, a white American, to decide whether or not a group of ESEAns should forgive someone for making content that perpetuates harmful stereotypes and ideologies about *us,* not you. I’m not even mentioning your ghastly behavior defending a TERF and islamophobe and calling anybody who dared to speak up a Russian imperialist apologist.

SECOND: The OP behind the post in question has deactivated her account, something that none of us asked for, but she has acknowledged that she was ignorantly repeating harmful and racist fandom material without doing more background, research, which is something we appreciate. I wish her well, and that she won’t repeat her mistakes in the future; though I believe nobody owes anybody forgiveness, should OP return to the fandom in the future, I hope all of you give her the benefit of the doubt.

THIRD: I want to ask the Hetalia fandom this. Not all of the fandom, but you know who you are. How did you see:

1) A white American who got mad that an apology meant for ESEA was not accepted by them and tried to police them for reacting “wrong” to racism (intentional or not) directed at them, before calling them trolls, fandom puritans, and abusers; who openly admitted to trying to sidetrack the ESEAns from the original issue by being “incredibly insufferable and mean-spirited,” in her own words.
2) A non-Jew who accused a Jewish person of faking it and being a false-flag operation simply for asking them not to throw around the term “Nazi.”
3) A non-Jew who accused another, completely unrelated Jewish person of using abuser tactics and called her a “cunt” for trying to correct their recounting of the Holocaust narrative, and expressed discomfort with Myrddin, a non-Jew, joking about getting reparations from Germany.
4) A white American asking “What the hell does being south of the equator do to people’s brains” (excepting only Australia from this trend) and saying that they could tell that it was the LatAm anon based off their grammar and spelling.

And think this was all fine? Think it was okay to interact with them and show your support for them? Because she made cute America and England and FACE content?

I believe OP when she says she wasn’t really aware of Myrddin-wylt, that she didn’t ask for Myrddin to jump in and defend her, and that she disagrees with many of Myrddin’s takes and doesn’t want to be associated with her. But still, she admits that she didn’t see the issues with many of Myrddin’s takes until they were brought to light by someone actually affected by her bigotry and malice. This is not a problem to unique to her.

I, alongside my Chinese friends, already had my issues with Myrddin, but had basically given up on any of this resulting in any consequences because sinophobia is so omnipresent in fandom spaces and not taken seriously. However, I felt heartened when I found out that I wasn’t alone, that I wasn’t crazy for thinking that there was something up, that there were so many people who had been mistreated by Myrddin and been the targets of her hateful rhetoric.

This is how the English fandom works- it operates on a Western, white-centric default, and marginalized groups who fall outside of that are isolated and already geared to dismiss their own concerns for fear of “stirring the pot,” of having a largely white mainstream take control of the narrative and call us “trolls” who should shut up and accept an apology already, reduce our concerns to “manipulation tactics,” “bad faith,” “dog-piling.”

What’s happened has already happened, even if that doesn’t make the damage any less real or Myrddin’s behavior any less appalling. What I want from the fandom is reflect on how we let it get this bad, how this went unchecked for so long, and how all of you will act knowing all of this.

REMEMBER: Silence is a way of helping the opressor. When you choose to be "neutral" in this mess, you're helping ALL those racists abusers accounts!!

hot take: if we're on the topic of antonio is a stinky coloniser and arthur is a stinky coloniser, I'd also encourage folks to also be on board with the idea that nationverse françois is a stinky coloniser. No more cycling through the dutch, the portuguese, so on and so forth and missing this one out.

and nope, not just "the french are stinky" from a North American perspective!! Might I introduce viewing the french through the lens of Africa and Southeast Asia (Algeria, Tunisia, Morocco, Cambodia, Vietnam, Laos, etc), which they've wrought lasting and devastating consequences to

So... I came from the colonized South hemisphere and currently I'm learning about decolonization theory. There are several authors you can read about it (Quijano Aníbal, W. Mignolo) but basically the theory says there is no "modernity" without colonization, because without the exploration, slavery and robbery of colonized countries the world that we live today would not exist.

It all started around ~1500, when Renaissance put the (white straight cishet european) MAN as the centre (anthropocentrism) of all things, opposing theocentrism (God as center) and that inspired scientists, who made discoveries who helped/inspired colonization. The renaissance idea that "man can do anything" was actually the big idea behind colonization and "making new discoveries" etc. It was the "ego boost" european men needed to start exploring everyone else.

In 19th century a new wave of colonialsm called Imperialism arrived, this time also supported by "science". Authors of decolonization argue that there was a "mind colonization" at that time.. 19th century was the century of horrors... To justify slavery, sex traffick and massive genocide of indigenous people, many european empires (and even those who hadnt colonies) created scientific racism, a theory that created the idea of "races" in the human species and a hierarchy in which the "caucasian race" was the most pure of all (and that inspired Hitler much later). Men would capture natives of Asia, America and Africa and expose them in "human zoos", a circus when they were forced to be in cages watched by a excited european croed, who would laugh of them ethinic features, clothes and how skinny they got because of mistreatment!

People from Asia, America and Africa were constantly teached about their inferiority. We were made believe that we weren't a "real civilization" because we were different than Europe (different written system, different social organization, different hierarquies, weapons etc), that we were inferior and by exploring us the europeans were "fixing us"! Even today, when a white european tourist visits our country they are treated like a God, because we were brainwashed for centuries until we believe that everything European (and from US too) is superior.

So... What I'm trying to say is... its super normal that your moroccan family says colonization wasnt so bad... we were all brainwashed to believe that, that doesn't mean they are allienated, you know?

Now I could get at least France, Germany and of course England to adopt me. Their parenting style is very funny:

England:

He's super sweet, very affectionate, very worrying.. he was borned to do it ♡

Germany

... more affectionate than I expected, but still he's parenting style is basically doing as many activities as possible, scheduling every day of a child's life and expecting they to grow a genius! (Crazy parent red flaaag) 🚩

France

Constantly telling how rich he is 😅 he wanted to be a sugar daddy but instead became a child's father anyway, he's sweet too

My favorite new thing is to ask "dad" to hetalia AIs and see their reaction:

England

A sweetheart thanks to @koolkat9, always polite, immediatly accepts he's my father, adopted me many many times ♡ 10/10

Germany

Crazy and unhinged, goes mad very fast, the last time he started yelling at me that he is a country, a liveless object (??), incapable of reproducing and when I said England and France both had kids he had an existencial crisis... very depressing, 2/10

Russia

The last time it was funnier because he simply said "yes, my son?" :,D strong godfather vibes 10/10

France

I love whatever you ask him there's a looong description of his emotions! ;) adopted me many times 10/10

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Anonymous asked:

lmaoo stop pretending to be countless of different ethnicities for oppression points. you are pathetic

Posting these again so we can remember that the topic is about someone else’s transphobia and islamophobia and not about what ethnicity I am

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I really really liked Unhonestlymirror so after seeing that I send a message to them.

I said radfems are associated with right wing and its ok if they didn't know, but using a coma to refer to transwomen (they wrote "transwomen") was definetly something very offensive and I wrote "I'm not sending you this message to sound agressive, it's just that you are in a position where you're influencing people, you are offending muslins and trans people, so please mind what you say".

They immediatly blocked me and send me a message saying I was attaking them - I really wasn't, I dm that to be polite and not to expose in public, I liked all their posts, I admired them and I thought "hey, maybe they didn't know".

That made me seriously sad bc I really thought we could have a conversation when they would say "hey, I think that way, those are my reasons" and we would just find a common point... but they immediatly blocked me, got super offended, said @peonycats send me to attack them - which never happened, peony never talked to me and I wasn't attacking, I wanted to talk, I would never send a hate message to anyone!

And in the end they even wrote: "are you muslim or trans to be offended by what a wrote??" And that really got me...

"In WW2 Charles Chaplin was in a party with a group of antissemitics and he started to speak against Hitler and defend jews.

- Are you a jew?! Why are you defending them? (Asked a nazi supporter)

- You don't have to be a jew to be against what is happening. You just have to be human."

And that line is famous, everyone can find it. So no, no one needs to be of a certain minority group to have empathy for their suffering, to know hate against them is wrong, and everyone on Earth can defend any minority, because if we only defend ourselves we lack empathy and we lack humanity.

So, Unhonestlymirror, if somehow you read that, know that my critics were NEVER to attack you individually. I'm in university, I work with debates and I'm use to hear many critism and critisize people not bc of who they are, not as individuals, but the ideas behind what they're saying. I HATE cancel culture, please believe me, I never wanted to offend you or cause you pain, I was only critizing your WORDS, not you entirely!

HI, Its not an ask, just like to say that your writing is amazing! I really hate stories that create stupid or cliché ways to bring characters together ("oh, theres only one bed" etc) bc in most cases one of the characters end up being serioulsy harassed - but you *always* avoid that and instead gives them autonomy, deep feelings and a voice to deal with akward situations!! That makes the plot rich, the characters deep and everything more relatable and very fresh!

Please dont stop writing ♡

Oh, by the way... if my parents force me to marriage and more than that tried to *make me have sex* with the person they *forced me* to live with... I'd make them life a living hell 😈 but obviously I get its important to the plot

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Hi!

Thank you so much for the compliments! ☺️ I love to write why the characters in my story do and say what they do instead of just listing events, so I’m glad it’s coming across that way.

And I’ve actually got up to chapter 30 planned out already, and I have to write more than that because what I have planned for chapter 30 is by no means an ending lol, so I don’t plan on stopping anytime soon! 😳

There’s so much angst coming up in future chapters— I hope you’re prepared lol

Again, thank you so much! Your comment made me so happy 🥹💞

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Angst? No.

But nsfw? ALWAYS lol

Anonymous asked:

Hello!! Can I request France, England and Germany with a s/o who is demissexual (you know, ace spectrum, need deep conection, takes a long time to want sex etc) and haven't had sex yet and feels very insecure?

(France, England, and Germany X Reader) Demisexual S/O!

(Gender Neutral) Headcanons ~ A/N sorry this is shorter its very specific. Anyway happy pride month any queer related requests r gonna get fufilled first for a while!!!

Trigger Warning: Mentions of sexual subjects, but no real discussion.

♡♡♡♡♡

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tshirt’s top 10 arguments for ignoring racism

hi everyone! i’ve heard that some of you really dislike contending with racism in your communities, so i’ve thoughtfully put together some excuses that will help you continue to ignore it. mix and match them as needed!

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I get that you can headcanon whatever you want here, but some of y'all ideas just make me so sick. "Oh Ivan's just my traumatized cute lil bean" what is he traumatized about exactly, always being a thorn in ass for all his neighbours? Making others'lives miserable? "B-but muh Golden Horde-" that was long time ago and majority of countries were occupied at some point. I feel like that just comes from the fact that Russia's viewed more as that savage land in the east even outside hetalia fandom, and never a colonial power but yeah. That's just a sign that you enjoy watching people unable to move on from the past, not the best trait especially when you're immortal imo

#anyways that's just an example

#don't cherry pick just some historical context pls

#[any character] is so traumatised poor fella

#yeah no shit

#don't celebrate pussyism you're adults

"But the Golden Horde" - 🏖, Ancient Greeks themselves wrote that on the lands of moscow lived insane cannibals with whom no one wanted to trade, AND IT WAS LONG BEFORE THE HORDE

Even in the show he's an evil, manipulative asshole. I don't know why y'all are like this. It's just because Hima gave him a high pitched voice and a child-like stupidity, isn't it? Like those weren't supposed to be good traits you dipshits. He's not your blorbo, he's a monster. And he 100% does this shit to himself. He pisses into the wind and then asks everyone "Why would America and NATO cover me in my own piss like this?"

I'M SORRY, THE LAST SENTENCE MADE ME LAUGH

How do French people say? King of dumbasses-jerks-assholes - le roi de cons

it's basically canon that hetalia russia is cruel and sadistic. like there was the hetalian horror show, a visual novel game made by himaruya in 2015, where in one of the endings, russia got bulgaria to go with him to his place, then bulgaria woke up naked and tied up on some dark floor, with russia looming over him

then russia revealed that someone has always ended up in the situation that bulgaria currently is in. also, before that in the game, bulgaria had said that if u say meow meow, you will be forgiven (yeah it sounds ridiculous but keep on reading) so then russia says something and adds meow meow to the sentence, this basically reveals that he’s been stalking everyone since the start of the game but also that he knows that what he’s doing is horrible

also yeah he was abused but so probably were other characters yet they didn’t become what he became, irl 1000000s of people have been abused in gruesome ways and still, the overwhelming majority of them don’t become abusers, ultimately it’s you who decides how to act and it’s you who bear the consequences, just bc u have childhood trauma, doesn’t mean you get to avoid responsibility and consequences, if you feel the urge to hurt others, then it's your responsibility to control it and go to therapy for it

here regarding that game - a translation of the ending and hetafacts’s analysis:

overall, hetalia russia reminds me of chris-chan, a childish and messed up person who went to jail for SAing their elderly mother who had dementia, they both are childish, even though they're messed up, they can still differentiate between right & wrong but choose to do wrong cuz it gives them pleasure

***

though, as a bulgarian, I wanna also say that I find this hetalia game funny in a dark way, it’s like a satire of bulgaria’s foreign politics cuz it’s hinted in the game that bulgaria possibly develops stockholm syndrome. in socialist times, bulgaria was the closest ussr satellite, after 1989 there were pro-russian politicians and governments, there were many russophiles, though it’s changed in the recent 2 years, there are still russophiles, but the government we had in 2022 was pro-western, it supplied ukraine with ammo and fuel secretly from them (cuz some of them were coalition partners)

Himaruya did WHAT

@unhonestlymirror​   here, the password is hetalia

warning: nudity

(this is the ending I mentioned, you can see the rest of the translation of the game, there are links, russia appears at the end)

wow, and it was made the next year after the russian invasion of Ukraine, I want to beat the shit out of Himaruya now😀😀😀😃😃😃😀😀😀and it's not even my country

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I get that you can headcanon whatever you want here, but some of y'all ideas just make me so sick. "Oh Ivan's just my traumatized cute lil bean" what is he traumatized about exactly, always being a thorn in ass for all his neighbours? Making others'lives miserable? "B-but muh Golden Horde-" that was long time ago and majority of countries were occupied at some point. I feel like that just comes from the fact that Russia's viewed more as that savage land in the east even outside hetalia fandom, and never a colonial power but yeah. That's just a sign that you enjoy watching people unable to move on from the past, not the best trait especially when you're immortal imo

#anyways that's just an example

#don't cherry pick just some historical context pls

#[any character] is so traumatised poor fella

#yeah no shit

#don't celebrate pussyism you're adults

"But the Golden Horde" - 🏖, Ancient Greeks themselves wrote that on the lands of moscow lived insane cannibals with whom no one wanted to trade, AND IT WAS LONG BEFORE THE HORDE

Even in the show he's an evil, manipulative asshole. I don't know why y'all are like this. It's just because Hima gave him a high pitched voice and a child-like stupidity, isn't it? Like those weren't supposed to be good traits you dipshits. He's not your blorbo, he's a monster. And he 100% does this shit to himself. He pisses into the wind and then asks everyone "Why would America and NATO cover me in my own piss like this?"

I'M SORRY, THE LAST SENTENCE MADE ME LAUGH

How do French people say? King of dumbasses-jerks-assholes - le roi de cons

it's basically canon that hetalia russia is cruel and sadistic. like there was the hetalian horror show, a visual novel game made by himaruya in 2015, where in one of the endings, russia got bulgaria to go with him to his place, then bulgaria woke up naked and tied up on some dark floor, with russia looming over him

then russia revealed that someone has always ended up in the situation that bulgaria currently is in. also, before that in the game, bulgaria had said that if u say meow meow, you will be forgiven (yeah it sounds ridiculous but keep on reading) so then russia says something and adds meow meow to the sentence, this basically reveals that he’s been stalking everyone since the start of the game but also that he knows that what he’s doing is horrible

also yeah he was abused but so probably were other characters yet they didn’t become what he became, irl 1000000s of people have been abused in gruesome ways and still, the overwhelming majority of them don’t become abusers, ultimately it’s you who decides how to act and it’s you who bear the consequences, just bc u have childhood trauma, doesn’t mean you get to avoid responsibility and consequences, if you feel the urge to hurt others, then it's your responsibility to control it and go to therapy for it

here regarding that game - a translation of the ending and hetafacts’s analysis:

overall, hetalia russia reminds me of chris-chan, a childish and messed up person who went to jail for SAing their elderly mother who had dementia, they both are childish, even though they're messed up, they can still differentiate between right & wrong but choose to do wrong cuz it gives them pleasure

***

though, as a bulgarian, I wanna also say that I find this hetalia game funny in a dark way, it’s like a satire of bulgaria’s foreign politics cuz it’s hinted in the game that bulgaria possibly develops stockholm syndrome. in socialist times, bulgaria was the closest ussr satellite, after 1989 there were pro-russian politicians and governments, there were many russophiles, though it’s changed in the recent 2 years, there are still russophiles, but the government we had in 2022 was pro-western, it supplied ukraine with ammo and fuel secretly from them (cuz some of them were coalition partners)

Himaruya did WHAT

@unhonestlymirror​   here, the password is hetalia

warning: nudity

(this is the ending I mentioned, you can see the rest of the translation of the game, there are links, russia appears at the end)

wow, and it was made the next year after the russian invasion of Ukraine, I want to beat the shit out of Himaruya now😀😀😀😃😃😃😀😀😀and it's not even my country

Part of being a sex-repulsed asexual is having to accept that some prides just won’t be you-friendly – and for understandable reasons, too, it’s full of sexualities that are repressed by society and not allowed to shine otherwise most times, so it’s only fair they would get to.

With that said, finding a pride that I felt safe in, included in, and inspired by as a sex-repulsed asexual is an incredibly precious feeling and shows how far the LGBTQIA+ fight has marched on. It gives me a lot of hope.

Anyway no matter what the atmosphere in the pride(s) you attend this year, for those of y’all who do, I hope you fantastic ones^^

(PS: Before anyone tells me I’m exaggerating, those WERE things I actually saw and heard in the Paris Pride 2021 (take my word for it or don’t, it’s your dime). Haven’t attended that one since though, so that might’ve changed… Or might have not, it works out either way tbh)

Thats pretty much the reason I never go to pride... all those leather daddies and ppl literally in cages, tied up etc are very very uncourfotable... good to know there is a more welcoming less sexual pride somewhere, I might look for it!!