lazy bastard
Anonymous asked:
You are the Sea Witch's lawyer, who has to always be present whenever she makes a contract with hopeful young mermaids seeking a happily ever after.
"Ma'am, this musical number may constitute proof of malice aforethought"
I wish allistic people understood that infodumping about a special interest is a lot closer to baring your soul than sharing fun facts
Like the information itself isnt the point, its the conduit through which im trying to communicate with you. Its a love language.
What neurotypicals think it is: “I’m gonna ramble about this one specific thing that you’re not even interested in.”
What it actually is: “this is a thing that makes me happy, and I want to share my happiness with you because I feel comfy around you and I love you”
best thing that can happen to you is a friend getting a cat
In Super Mario Odyssey, as long as Mario is sitting on a bench, any Goombas touching him will become frozen in time, as seen in the footage.
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love wins
The thing is nobody at pride is evaluating you to determine if you’re queer enough to be there because they’re too busy thinking “it’s so hot out” and “why is this lemonade 12 dollars?”
beedle repeatedly getting reincarnated along with link is genuinely so funny. his spirit is just destined to work in retail forever
i dont know if impa also gets reincarnated i always thought that impa was the name of an important historic sheikah figure so people often named their kids that like how we sometimes name our kids after like saints and other cultural figures n stuff. i just assumed it was like "yeah of course theres someone important named impa. impa is in the top ten most popular sheikah baby names every year"
This isn't cute! Cars only do this when they feel extreme distress!
Maan get that quivering snout outta here
Have you considered taking him to the vet?
why does this have 305 citations? is this normal
the bug’s really good btw
what is going On here.
it's called fashion sweaty look it up
Last night I had a dream I woke up to find that my house had been turned into a Smart House with every wall being a digital screen including the roof so I could see it even laying on bed and the Siri voice said “Don’t worry. You are perfectly safe in your Apple Smart Home™️” knowing I have a BIG phobia of intruders especially at night and it continued with “Let’s explore the neighborhood from the comfort of your home” so it opened google maps and accidentally zoomed past a shitty jpeg of the girl from The Ring standing outside my house and it said “ignore that”. woke up laughing
ken getting arrested alongside barbie after she punches the guy who smacks her ass presents so many possibilities
- ken saw barbie punch the douchebag and was like “LET’S MAKE THIS A PARTY” and joined in on the smackdown
- alternatively, the guy’s friends tried to jump in and ken wasn’t having ANY of that
- ken saw barbie getting shoved into a big car with bright lights on the top and was like “OH BOY! can i come too?? 😊😊” and just kind of tagged along
- alternatively, he realized what was going on and was like “EXCUSE ME OFFICER i too have committed A Crime so please show me to The Jail with my beautiful girlfriend” so they wouldn’t be separated
- ken got in trouble for trying to help barbie escape but in his defense no one TOLD him resisting arrest is a crime because no one told him what being arrested or crime is
- ken didn’t know who these men showing up to take his girlfriend away were, but he could see she was very upset and excuse?? you cannot take barbie away from ken without her permission??? so long story short, ken punched a cop
- ken fully burned something down earlier and the cops were like “two birds one stone” when they came to get barbie
me in the house if im being completely honest
i'm¹ in the house like carpet
¹ if there's too many heads on my blunt i won't spark it
i love when they draw a carrot on top of the carrot cake just to remind you this aint no ordinary fuckin cake youre dealing with