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idk bro

@dipshitsoap

max (they/them)
thejorie-deactivated20160327

My three girlfriends. And yes, they smoke weed.

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peble

do they smoke weed?

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thejorie

Yes, actually.

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gucciballs

you mean she isnt just smoking a cigarette? but a weed cigarette?

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thejorie

It’s called a bunt…. Not weed cigarette… And yes, it is a weed bunt. They all smoke weed bunts before we kiss. (They are my girlfriends,)

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gccgrimm

They don’t look like they smoke weed.

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thejorie

Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. I’m so angry you are so lucky my three weed smorking girlfriends are rubbing my shoulders to calm me down I’m so mad.

Your “weed smoking girlfriend” has a Hello Kitty tattoo on her belly. The one in the middle.

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thejorie

I printed out a photo of your avatar and taped it to my punching bag that I punch and I mutter your URL with every strong punch I punch you twerp…. Don’t ever Talk about Blaiz or the wicked Tat(tattoo) I drew on her ever again I Don’t wanna see you standing outside my home at 3 am holding your weird dripping brown bags ever again ok leave us alone this is the FINAL FUCKING WARNING 

Well that escalated quickly……

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thejorie

What, was that? Hmm? Come again. *Blaiz grabs my shoulder* Come on Jory, they aren’t worth it, please. * I jerk my shoulder shaking her hand off* NO! NOOOOO!!! *starts to just pummel you with my big fucking fists. With each blow I let out a furious yell. The blows come quicker and harder and the yells get louder. I’m yelling so loud and now I’m crying. BREAKING POINT. The week was hard and I can’t take anymore. I’m opening sobbing at this point while you blood gurgle. All three of my girlfriends struggle to pull me off and they finally succeed and lead me away from the goo pile that is now your body*

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jackbecq

haha oh my god

who even is this dude? someone needs some anger management classes.

love how he keeps reminding us that “I HAVE THREE GIRLFRIENDS”, “THEY ALL KISS ME”, and “THEY SMOKE WEED HURRP DURR”.

and let’s not forget the “Blaiz” and her “wicked tat”, or that he doesn’t “wanna see you standing outside [his] home at 3 am holding your weird dripping brown bags ever again”, and that this is “the FINAL FUCKING WARNING”.

“the goo pile that is now your body”

i’m dying over here, jesus

please, Jory, come challenge me to a bout of internet witticsisms; i promise, it’ll be fun.

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thejorie

*shoots you dead* Heh, idiot… *leaves with my three weed smorking girlfriends to go hold hands and kiss.*

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xilast-zurvifferman

this dude playin omg 

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thejorie

Come again? *The bar falls silent. No one dares to make a sound, as you have just said a very poor choice of words at a very dangerous time. I remain slumped over the bar, not looking back to you. One hand limply holding an almost empty bottle, the other hand cradling my head. I repeat the question, this time louder.* Come again?! *You can hear me slur the words, the sentence sounds like a real struggle for me to get out. I’m clearly intoxicated. A bead of sweat rolls down your face as you realize you might have just fucked up in a very major way. Everyone else in the bar is pretending to not notice what is going on. The bartender idly washes a mug with a cloth. His eyes are closed and he’s muttering something to himself. A handful of people hurriedly leave. One person looks back at you, a look of sorrow on their face. They almost say something, but shake their head and cast their eyes down to the floor, and leave. But not you. You stand, petrified. A quick look at me reveals I’m still  at the bar. You look to the exit, there’s still time. But there’s not, there’s not, there’s not. Your fate was sealed the moment you opened your mouth.* Mother fuck.. what did you say?! *I slowly rise from my stool and being to lumber over to you.  I look a mess. My hair is unkempt, I haven’t shaved in what looks like months, there are dark heavy bags under my eyes, my shirt is stained and has holes in it, and I’m missing a shoe. But the main thing you notice is the gun tucked into my jeans, and my massive muscle arms that look like they were made for punching. You know that song about the boots that were made for walking? Yeah, it’s like that only instead of boots it’s my muscles and instead of walking it’s punching. As I drunkenly sway over to you, you think of your family… Will they mourn you, or will they try and forget this blotch of stupidity, that their child insulted the Jory publicly, ever happened to their family? Your thoughts are cut short as I now stand face to face with you. I grab your face and pull you even closer.* Playin?! There was nothing playing… no playing you fuck. No playing… it was real.. the realest thing I’ve ever know.. felt… Love. I loved them… Blaiz…. Chas-Chas… Funk… I loved all three of em… but they…*My face is wet with tears and I’m blinking constantly in vain to hold them back.* They left me… left… *Almost instantly the sadness leaves my face and is replaced with pure anger.* Playin? Playin?! *My hand leaves your face and starts to head to what you think is the gun. You close your eyes and see God looking at you, shrugging. ‘Pft, you brought this upon yourself dude.’ He says as he waves his hands at you dismissively. But instead of the gun, my hands grab yours. Your eyes jolt open and the anger is gone from my face. There is only sadness.* Left me… * I fall to the floor and sob.* Wow, grow up. *You say before you leave the bar but are hit almost immediately from a car and are killed upon impact.*

Happy 420

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alright I reflected on the self. I'm 100% sure the beasts are the issue here

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Hell yeah bro. 🤝Time for top surgery

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sorry homie. I see now you said beasts. Like, The animal . Not breasts. The word for boobs. Did not mean to threaten you.

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this is so fucking funny

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borderlineanders
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necromin

oh no poor babies i’m very glad they’re being cared for though…

fun fact, these are apparently not some breeder’s birds, but some of the feral chickens that wander Key West.  like quite a few oddities, they are an important part of Key West culture…

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borderlineanders

the fact that someone responded to a hurricane with “shit, gotta get the feral chickens” restores my faith in humanity

Hurricane sirens going off and you and your mates are in the woods catching chickens like

never not thinking about giant cisterns. THATS immanentizing the eschaton. when we get to heaven and its a bunch of giant wet concrete tunnels with vast columns holding up the ceiling, then you will see…

you know about the tokyo storm drains, yeah?

yeah that’s what inspired this post :)

im very exited to go here when i die :)

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basilica cistern in istanbul

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the famous “lake” that Gaston Leroux wrote about beneath the Palais Garnier is not a lake at all, but actually a cistern.

and what’s more, you can explore the “lake” in Google Street View here.

TL;DR : Please report any adverts or blaze posts you see that contain flashing images to tumblr.com/support 

After my blaze post about disability access in media was rejected due to reasons ungiven, I got in contact with Tumblr and pointed out their irony in rejecting my post but continuing to promote adverts that contain dangerous levels of flashing imagery, high contrast colours, and glitch effects. 

They told me to screenshot/screen record any of these adverts I saw and report them to tumblr.com/support along with the approximate date and time and the website they redirect to. 

Of course, for Photosensitive people who have been forced to witness these adverts, this sort of thing is nearly impossible. How can you have the wherewithal to report an advert whilst suffering from a seizure or migraine? 

This is where Allies come in! Please can you collect any and all adverts you see that contain flashing lights at a rate of 3 Flashes Per Second or higher/Glitch Effects/High Contrast Colours? Then, on 26th March (Epilepsy Awareness Day) I suggest that we all send these adverts in on mass! It’ll help to get our point across that this is a REGULAR OCCURRENCE that affects an entire community of people, and hopefully we’ll be able to enact some actual change to make this website more accessible for disabled people! 

If you are seeing this after 26th March, or worry you’ll not remember to do so by then, fear not! You can send the posts to Tumblr Support year round! It’s just useful to have a date to organise these things around for maximum impact.

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@thebibliosphere i know you’re hurting right now so no pressure but this could use a signal boost if you have the spoons

Oh fuck yeah. Jesus Christ, the number of times I’ve been made ill by a flickering ad or a post, even with add-free is too damn high.

It was gut-wrenching when I realized that many people alive today have never seen a truly mature tree up close.

In the Eastern USA, only tiny remnants of old-growth forest remain; all the rest, over 99%, was clear-cut within the last 100-150 years.

Most tree species here have a lifespan of 300-500 years—likely longer, since extant examples of truly old trees are so rare, there is limited ability to study them. In a suburban environment, almost all of the trees you see around you are mere saplings. A 50 year old oak tree is a youth only beginning its life.

The forest where I work is 100 years old; it was clear cut around 1920. It is still so young.

When I dig into the ground there, there is a layer about an inch thick of rich, plush, moist, fragrant topsoil, packed with mycelium and light and soft as a foam mattress. Underneath that the ground becomes hard and chalky in color, with a mineral odor.

It takes 100 years to build an inch of topsoil.

That topsoil, that marvelous, rich, living substance, took 100 years to build.

I am sorry your textbooks lied to you. Do you remember pictures in diagrams of soil layers, with a six-inch topsoil layer and a few feet of subsoil above bedrock?

That's not true anymore. If you are not an "outdoorsy" person that hikes off trail in forests regularly, it is likely that you have never touched true topsoil. The soil underlying lawns is depleted, compacted garbage with hardly any life in it. It seems more similar to rocks than soil to me now.

You see, tilling the soil and repeatedly disturbing it for agriculture destroys the topsoil layer, and there is no healthy plant community to regenerate it.

The North American prairies used to hold layers of topsoil more than eight or nine feet deep. That was a huge carbon sink, taking carbon out of the atmosphere and storing it underground.

Then European colonists settled the prairie and tried to drive the bison to extinction as part of the plan to drive Native Americans to extinction, and plowed up that topsoil...and the results were devastating. You might recall being taught about the Dust Bowl. Disrupting that incredible topsoil layer held in place by 12-foot-tall prairie grasses and over 100 different wildflower species caused the nation to be engulfed in horrific dirt storms that turned the sky black and had people hundreds of miles away coughing up clods of mud and sweeping thick drifts of dirt out of their homes.

But plowing is fundamental to agricultural civilizations at their very origins! you might say.

Where did those early civilizations live? River valleys.

Why river valleys? They're fertile because of seasonal flooding that deposits rich silt that can then be planted in.

And where does that silt come from?

Well, a huge river is created by smaller rivers coming together, which is created by smaller creeks coming together, which have their origins in the mountains and uplands, which are no good for farming but often covered in rich, dense forests.

The forests create the rich soil that makes agriculture possible. An ancient forest is so powerful, it brings life to civilizations and communities hundreds of miles away.

You may have heard that cattle farming is a significant source of greenhouse gas emissions. A huge chunk of that is just the conversion of an existing forest or grassland to pasture land. Robust plant communities like forests, wetlands, and grasslands are carbon sinks, storing carbon and removing it from the atmosphere. The destruction of these environments is a direct source of carbon emissions.

All is not lost. Nature knows how to regenerate herself after devastating events; she's done so countless times before, and forests are not static places anyway. They are in a constant state of regrowth and change. Human caretakers have been able to manage ancient forests for thousands of years. It is colonialism and the ideology of profit and greed that is so destructive, not human presence.

Preserve the old growth forests of the present, yes, but it is even more vital to protect the old growth forests of the future.

Hello Mr. Gaiman,

I don’t know if you would feel comfortable sharing this, but you have been very supportive of library workers and reading, so I thought I would ask.

Here in Ireland libraries are being targeted right now to remove positive LGBTQ+ content, specifically YA stuff. Library workers are being insulted and intimidated; there have been demands to remove books from shelves. This is a coordinated campaign, and there has been little media attention paid to it; I think it’s believed that if the people trying to get books banned are ignored then they will go away.

Having seen how these campaigns have gone in the US and the UK, however, I consider that unlikely.

If you could share information about this then it might help get more attention. I have tried to embed a video link from the Dáil (the Irish Parliament) in this ask as proof that I am not talking through my arse. It will not embed, but I can provide it should you need verification (which is understandable). If you can share this I would be very grateful, and if not I hope that you are well and enjoying a well-earned hot beverage, wherever you are. Also, Norse Mythology rocks.

With thanks,

An Irish Hobbit

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Consider it shared...

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apocalyptic-cake-deactivated202

Listen up!

You see a post like this? Where OP might hurt/kill themselves? You hit that button that I circled

Hit that.

Click Suicide or Self-harm Concern

Yes.

Fill in the rest of it, and hit submit. The "content you reported" will fill itself in

Tumblr will follow up and help them.

Warning: this is only for mobile. If anyone knows how to do this for desktop, please add it!

This could SAVE SOMEONE'S LIFE.

YOU HAVE NO EXCUSE NOT TO REBLOG THIS.

I DON'T GIVE A FUCK IF IT DOESN'T GO WITH YOUR BLOG'S THEME.

And yes, REBLOG. Liking does no shit at all. This isn't ig.

You reblog, people see it. You don't, people don't see it. This shit's that simple.

This could save someone's life. It's not a joke.

This isn’t some ‘oh yeah sure it could’.

This could legitimately do so.

Don’t you dare fucking scroll past.

This is good stuff to know!

socxsuallycruel-deactivated2022

please, please, please reblog. reblogging will take one second of your time. meanwhile it could save someone’s entire life.

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please reblog!

Soo I have a blood kink... someone reported a post about it like this one time and I got a message from tumblr asking if I was okay and how to get help if I needed it. Was actually cool I didn't know it was a thing that tumblr would do and until now didn't know exactly why that had happened other than something with that post but not that they had this whole set up

Suicide prevention is important. It works. I have personally benefited from it.

But it only works if people know about it. So please consider passing along.

Please do this whenever you see any of this, it could really help someone.

One, please reblog. Please.

Two, if you're worried people don't care about you, look at this post. I dont really know many people on here who suffer like this openly because its all shits and giggles mainly, but I'm still posting it, incase you or someone else see's this and can help out another life. Please. People do care and they will, it's frustrating but there's always a hiccup in the road, even if yours has been years old. It gets better, and when it does, everything will be worth it <3

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It would be nice if you reblogged. And please don’t swear at your theoretical reader, no one likes that.

Don't: Guilt trip readers into reblogging

Do: Reblog to literally save a life